In the city of Savannah, Georgia Cecil Poole came across a statue of General James Edward Oglethorpe that caught his interest.  The text is from the four sides of the plinth.

Statue of GEN J.E. Oglethorpe, Savannah GA. Note Live Oaks sans ‘strange fruit’

ERECTED BY THE STATE OF GEORGIA, THE CITY OF SAVANNAH AND THE PATRIOTIC SOCIETIES OF THE STATE TO THE MEMORY OF THE GREAT SOLDIER, EMINENT STATESMAN AND FAMOUR PHILANTHROPIST GENERAL JAMES EDWARD OGLETHORPE WHO THIS CITY ON THE 12TH DAY OF FEBRUARY A.D. 1733 FOUNDED AND ESTABLISHED THE COLONY OF GEORGIA.

George The Second, by the Grace of God, of Great Britain, France and Ireland.  King.  Defender of the Faith, etc.  To all to whom these Presents shall come.  Greetings.

Whereas we are credibly informed, that many of our subject . . . would be glad to be settled in any of our provinces in America, where by cultivating the lands at present waste and desolate, they might not only gain a comfortable subsistence for themselves and families, but also strengthen our colonies and increase the trade navigation and wealth of these our realms.

And whereas our provinces in North America have been frequently ravaged by Indian enemies, more especially that of South Carolina, which in the late war, by the neighboring savages was laid waste with fire and sword, and great numbers of the English inhabitants miserably massacred: and our loving subjects who now inhabit there . . . will in case of any new war will be exposed to the like calamities inasmuch as their whole southern frontier continueth unsettled and lieth open.

And whereas we think it highly becoming our crown and royal dignity to protect all our loving subjects be they never so distant from us.

Know ye therefore that we have . . . of our special grace, certain knowledge and mere motion willed ordained constituted and appointed . . . our right trusty and well beloved John, Lord Viscount Percival of our Kingdom of Ireland, our trusty and well beloved Edward Digby, George Carpenter, James Oglethorpe, George Heathcote, Thomas Tower, Robert More, Robert Hucks, Roger Holland, William Sloper, Francis Eyles, John LaRoche, James Vernon, William Belitha, Esqrs., Stephen Hales, A.M., Arthur Bedford, A.M., Samuel Smith, A.M., Adam Anderson and Thomas Coram, Gentlemen; . . one body politic and corporate by the name of The Trustees for establishing the Colony of Georgia in America . . .

Know ye therefore that we greatly desiring the happy success of the said corporation do give and grant to the said corporation and their successors . . . seven undivided parts, the whole in eight equal parts to be divided, of all those lands, countries and territories situate, lying and being in that part of South Carolina in America, which lies from the most northern stream of a river there commonly called the Savannah, all along the sea coast to the southward unot the most southern stream of s certain other great water or river called the Alatamaha, and westward from the heads of the said rivers respectively in direct lines to the South Seas and all that space, circuit and precinct  of land lying within the said boundaries, with the islands in the sea lying opposite to the eastern coast of the said lands, within twenty leagues of the same, which are not already inhabited or settled by any authority derived from the Crown of Great Britain: . . . all which lands, countries, territories and premises hereby granted  . . . we do by these presents make, erect and create one independent and separate province by the name of Georgia, by which name we will the same henceforth to be called . . .

And our will and pleasure is that the common council of the said corporation . . .  shall from time to time for the full end and expiration of twenty one years, to commence from the date of these our letters patents, have full power and authority to nominate, make, constitute, commission, ordain, and appoint by such name or names, style or styles as to them shall seem meet and fitting, all and singular such governors, judges, magistrates, ministers, and officers civil and military, both by sea and land, within the said district as shall by them be thought fit and needful to be made or used for the said government of the said colony.

In Witness Whereof we have caused these our letters to be made patents.  Witness ourself at Westminster, the ninth day of June in the fifth year of our reign.

This piece, with following notes by Ira Maine, Poetry Editor, first appeared in this blog on 25 August, 2013

The song of wandering Aengus.  by WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS.

I went out to the hazel wood
Because a fire was in my head.
And cut and peeled a hazel wand
And hooked a berry to a thread.

And when white moths were on the wing
And moth-like stars were flickering out,
I dropped the berry in a stream
And caught a little silver trout.

When I had laid it on the floor
And went to blow the fire aflame,
But something rustled on the floor
And someone called me by my name.

It had become a glimmering girl,
With apple blossoms in her hair
Who called me by my name and ran,
And faded in the brightening air.

Though I am old with wandering
Through hollow lands and hilly lands
I will find out where she has gone
And kiss her lips and take her hands,

And walk among long dappled grass
And pluck til time and times are done,
The silver apples of the moon,
The golden apples of the sun.

Comments by Ira Maine, Poetry Editor
Here is Yeats, up to his armpits in Celtic Mythology. Yeats, a young product of that late 19th century Romanticism which included Beardsley and Moore and Wilde, the Cafe Royal aesthetes and the rediscovery of that same mythology as a vehicle for artistic expression.

Sometimes we have “peak experiences’.  Split seconds of astonishing clarity where everything there is to know is known to you and where you need absolutely nothing more to feel complete.  Unfortunately these blinding revelations are gone just as quickly and we long desperately to experience them again, to be reminded of that mind-blowing ‘Otherworld’.  Perhaps for Yeats the girl, the fish represent that ‘peak experience’ and Aengus (Yeats) spends his life trying to recapture it.

Aengus is the Celtic Eros, the god of love, eternally young and handsome and is the possessor of a harp whose music no one can resist.  Though Yeats is the central figure in the poem, in pursuit of the unattainable, the peak experience perhaps, he is, at the same time, Aengus, the god of love, forever moving and restless, because, for life to have meaning, love is paramount and seeks continually to recreate itself.

It’s not all about making the two backed beast, you know…
IRA MAINE, Poetry Editor.

This Dispatch was originally distributed 17 October 2012.  (The first half only is reprinted here.)

Buenas amigos y compañeros,

Not sure if a previous Dispatch bore the label ‘Spin’. No matter, ‘spin’ is such a recurring occurrence in Aboriginal Affairs, that it deserves a re-run.

My late mother spent eight decades on earth being an avid reader of anything. She passed this affliction on to me. I don’t read Mills & Boons (as she did) but am an avid reader of food labels.

When in Canada, this habit afforded me much pleasure in that the labels were bi-lingual. I learned that the enjoyment of a certain breakfast cereal would be much enhanced if slices of a certain rodent were added to it- a pampel mouse.

I also learned that it took twice as many letters to expound the virtues of a certain brand of peanut butter in French as it did to do so in English. This in turn reinforced my developing belief that every language is valuable and none better than another.

If you want to quickly and without fuss describe a brand of peanut butter, best do it in English; if on the other hand you want to wax lyrical about the peanut butter, French is better!

And who in their right mind hasn’t sometime felt an intense urge to wax lyrical about peanut butter?

Thus I came across the following: “Crusta’s great tasting apple juice is lovingly crafted in the lush riverland of South Australia from quality imported ingredients”

Thank goodness they chose a lush location to lovingly practise their craft, otherwise it would have tasted like crap.

When Sir Walter Scott wrote “Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive” in 1808, he could hardly have imagined the imaginative, varied and complex webs of deception that would be spun around the world the next couple of centuries.

A book I’ve read lately is José Hernández’ ‘Martín Fierro’ a 19^th Century Argentine classic. It is written in an anachronistic rural Spanish, rather difficult to read, but mercifully my copy has a vocabulary in the back. A bit like Australian Government reports dealing with ‘matters Aboriginal’ that are difficult to read but mercifully have a list of acronyms in the back. Unlike the Australian Indigenous reports however, ‘Martín Fierro’ is full of wisdom. A sample.

La ley es tela de araña
en mi inorancia lo explico
no la tema el hombre rico
nunca la tema el que mande
pues la rompe el bicho grande
y solo enrieda  a los chicos

http://youtu.be/s9CC1bsGDAA

The law is like a spider’s web,
In all humility I explain:
the rich man fears it not
neither he that is in command.
The large beetles break free
and only the small insects are ensnared

A spider is said to ‘spin’ its web. The Dutch word for spider is ‘spin’. I’ve heard people referred to as ‘een spin’, sort of meaning deceitful or conniving. The Warlpiri word for spider is Yinarrki.

ITEC employment entered Yuendumu on the coat-tails of the Intervention. They’re still here. Legislation makes it compulsory for recipients of unemployment benefits to attend interviews with ITEC to “discuss pathways to employment”

From ITEC’s website I repeat an example of classic spin:

“ITEC Employment provide support to the lives of people in over 70 locations across Australia through the delivery of high-quality employment and related services to those most disadvantaged by their remoteness, their labour market or their personal circumstances.

Much of our current work is conducted working alongside of Indigenous communities across Northern and Central Australia assisting to provide pathways towards employment through community capacity building, greater access to opportunities for education and program development specific to the needs of local people…”

A colloquial Australian word for spin is ‘bullshit’.

Lest some of you respond with “give it a rest”, I shall refrain from quoting Australia’s Queen of Spin Jenny Macklin in this dispatch. She is bound to come out with some doozies, so watch this space.

Meanwhile listen to the Spin Doctors http://youtu.be/GrQCro68sRU , surely you agree that it’s much more pleasant to do so.

TO BE CONTINUED

The Duralinium Duck, (Dunt Corporation)

The early 1930’s, were halcyon days for the manufacturers of composite and synthetic products. None more so than aircraft manufacturers. Howard Hughes, billionaire visionary achieved worldwide acclaim and demonstrated the potential for producing aircraft that didn’t rely on restricted materials by designing the Spruce Goose. Made entirely of laminated plywood and composite veneers this impressive aircraft was intended to be a flying Liberty Ship. If produced in sufficient numbers it would’ve revolutionised the trans atlantic convoy system. But his imagination was beyond the reach of technology and only one aircraft ever flew. Similarly De Havilland developed “the wooden wonder”, the twin merlin engined Mosquito which performed superbly as a very fast reconnisance, pathfinder and fighter bomber for hit and run attacks upon the enemy. In Australia the Birko company, manufacturers of durable kettles, electric jugs and tea urns produced their answer to composites with the Bakelite Birko. The Birko a ground attack aircraft, designed for low level strafing of Japanese landing barges in the event of invasion, was a fast, high powered, (Cyclone 1850 radial) attack fighter bomber, precursor to the Tempest and Typhoon, and was constructed entirely of durable Bakelite. Lastly in 1941, the Burnie plywood company introduced the first ever Burnie Board transport aircraft, the ‘Burnie Board Bushman’. The Bushman set new records for carrying capacity, endurance and range. Capable of flying non stop, (warp speed) from Hobart to Darwin, it promised to revolutionise logistics in the top end.

With all this fierce research and technical improvisation it was not long before a locally owned subsidiary of the Hughes corp, the Dunt company of S.A, put forward their design answer to the air ministry specification 38 / 40 for a medium sized amphibious patrol fighter. The Duralinium Duck combined all the technical advances pioneered by the previously described firms; composite , and synthetic materials, and then radically developed the first ever mass produced Duralinium airframe. Rather than the standard monocoque fuselage and extensive ribbing, riveting and tensioning, the Duck was pressed with flat sheets of duralinium from the DUNT Sheet metal works factory in Port Adelaide and then simply bolted together. The fuselage comprising two pressed sheets, wing another, and tailplane another. A complete aircraft in just five components. As the company sales pitch suggested, “So easy a child can do it’ which fatefully did occur when a precocious seven year old ‘Chrissy’, (Kissa) Pyne from St Peters ambitiously assembled an aircraft and was taxiing before being stopped. Painted Pea-green in jungle camouflage and having hydrolastic suspension, the performance was elegantly smooth, easy to fly and its superb buoyancy, earned it the nickname the ‘Pea Floater’. Orders rushed in and in a very short space of time the Duck was performing sterling service as a courier, reconnaissance and supply aircraft to far flung and remote outposts.

Mrs, Winnie Hancock, proudly displaying her ducks and a photograph of her late husband F.Lt. Hencock. RAAF. Scarf and curlers kindly lent for this photo shoot by the Hon. Mr. Christopher Pyne. MP. From his personal collection.

Within six months the Duck had secured a position as an indispensable part of war service. The popularity exceeded the Catalina and the Beaufort. The Roy Rene penned hit for January 1943 ‘I’m in luck, love a duck’ was hugely popular outselling Bing Crosby’s White Christmas’. Crucial to the Duck’s early success was the radical placement of a bow gunner forward of the spinner in the specially designed main float. Armed with a Boyes anti tank gun, and with midgets selected from the dwarf training establishment, (midget Submarines), lower Sandringham, it proved a formidable weapon when skillfully piloted. Then disaster struck. Ducks began to disappear. On black Wednesday 23 Jan 1943 a squadron of Ducks vanished without trace off Magnetic Island. The same thing happened off Broome, and a week later, another flight of Ducks vanished off Jervis Bay. No wreckage, no fragments.

Then, whilst taxiing, Flt Lieutenant P Hencock, heard a loud bang and just had time to jump ship when his duck sank like a stone. Upon investigation it was discovered corrosion had eaten away at the securing bolts, and electrolytic deterioration had seriously weakened the entire airframe, Grounded the ducks were sold for scrap. To a home furnishings company who melted the craft down and ironically produced elegant ornamental duralinium ducks for house interiors. An ignominious failure for an aircraft that promised so much. In the words of the P.M, Mr. John Curtain, who surmised the subsequent investigation; ‘Sometimes we reach for the stars, and our ambition exceeds our reach. To the Dunt Duck which promised so much. Swam like a duck, Flew like a duck. Croaked and then Quacked’. (Cracked)

Duralinium Duck Specifications Crew: 2

Range: 1500 miles (on air), 350 miles on water.

Powerplant: One Pratt and Whitney Cyclone 1850 radial piston engine.

Performance 230 mph @ 15,000 feet. 255 mph in dive mode.

Armament 2 x .303 Vickers machine Guns in bow turret. 2 x 200 lb bombs. 2 x 200 lb depth charges.

Operators: RAF, RAAF

(Reprinted from 24 February 2014)

Publishers of Passive Complicity invited themselves to our Poetry Editor, Ira Maine’s Country Seat for a serious business meeting.    Ira was concerned, however, that  Quentin Cockburn would deliberately shorten his (Ira’s) life by infecting him with the rampant dose of flu that he is carrying.  (Cecil Poole, robust as ever, has no such fears, deluded man that he is.)

Our gallant and ever modest Poetry Editor took to verse to alert us to his concerns, proclaiming: “Another priceless jewelled treasure, entitled;”

Dispatched 19 September 2015

Namaskarum,
ഈ നല്ല ആരോഗ്യം ഹാസ്യത്തിനും നിങ്ങളെ സൌഖ്യമായിരിക്കുന്നുവെന്ന് കരുതുന്നു

I will never forget nor forgive Tony Jones’ role (when he was a Lateline presenter) in deviously setting up one of the main triggers to the Northern Territory Emergency Response (NTER or what it became known as: ‘the Intervention’). I do admit though that on occasions Q&A is interesting and worth watching (not because of, but despite Tony Jones). When there are politicians on the panel who seize the opportunity to score lengthy political points, the programme is exceedingly boring, but on the rare occasions that the panel is devoid of politicians or the politicians are overshadowed by guests who are great intellects with a social conscience, even Tony Jones cannot prevent intelligent and fascinating Q&A exchanges.

It was thus, in anticipation, that I tuned in to Q&A to see what Joan Baez had to say for herself. Alas her appearance was overshadowed by the night of the long knives. In the second half of the programme she did manage to get in a few words, enough to show that she has stayed true to her peace and social justice beliefs we so admired in the 60’s. She condemned the bombing in Iraq and Syria. Those that stuck to the end of the show, got to hear her singing a beautiful song. Another such beautiful song (that she wrote herself) is ‘Diamonds and Rust’. If you can spare the time, you could do a lot worse than to pause and listen to it…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MSwBM_CbyY

Tim Costello agreed with Joan Baez. He concluded a long erudite answer to a question on the Syrian situation with: “I don’t know the answers, but bombing isn’t one of them”.

Recently, Yuendumu’s Warlukurlangu Artists celebrated its 30^th Anniversary and the re-opening of the Men’s Museum. Some may say the event was overshadowed by Yuendumu playing in the Footie Final in Alice Springs. I see the two events as complementing each other. Yuendumu had two wins that Sunday.

In several Dispatches I’ve pondered whether Tony Abbott’s undertaking to spend a week each year in an Aboriginal community whilst he was Prime Minister was a promise or a threat. He actually went beyond this by declaring himself the ‘Prime Minister for Indigenous Australia’, and shifting all Indigenous affairs to the Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet, all under the stewardship of the Northern Territory’s own Senator Nigel Scullion.

Jakamarra and Japanangka asked me why Tony Abbott was no longer the Prime Minister, so I googled TA’s last speech as PM. When it came to: “…I was the first Prime Minister to spend a week a year in remote Indigenous Australia…” Jakamarra exclaimed “Well! I suppose he wants a medal for that”

When I try to explain the inadequately labelled ‘skin name’ system to kardiya (non Aboriginal people), I tell them “Nungarrayi’s daughter is Nampijimpa whose daughter is Napanangka. Thus Nungarrayi is Napananga’s grandmother”; “Furthermore Napanangka’s daughter is Nakamarra whose daughter is Nungarrayi. Thus Nungarrayi is Napanagka’s granddaughter”, “HOLD IT! I thought you said Nungarrayi is Napanangka’s grandmother” “Yes”.

To try and get your head around this think of the seasons. Now it is Spring, two seasons from now it will be Autumn. So what was it two seasons ago?… Indeed: Autumn. You go into the past and you go to the future and you end up in the same place. Those mathematically inclined will discern the circular nature of what I’ve just told you. And the seasons they go round and round…  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FcgPLCtYwM

I overheard Jakamarra on the phone. At one point he said: “have you heard the latest rumour? Mal Brough may again become the Minister for Indigenous Affairs!”

For those who don’t know or can’t remember, Mal Brough was John Howard’s Minister for Indigenous Affairs. He was the architect of the Intervention (apologies to the noble profession of architects). I asked Jakamarra who had told him that rumour, with a grin he told me he’d made it up (just then).

The circle game…. Mal Brough, Jenny Macklin, Nigel Scullion, Mal Brough … full circle, ha, ha, ha ! When I told Nangala this she said that it was no laughing matter, it could easily happen.

Yuendumu’s recently constructed $7+M Police Complex has been overshadowed. A Media release tells me an almost $24M contract has been let for the construction of a Police Station (yes, they’ve switched back from “Complex” to “Station”) at Wadeye. Oh dear, we have been saddled with an inferior Police Complex. I guess we’ll just have to grin and bear it.

Often I’m asked what are the answers to the “Aboriginal Problem” (I much prefer to think of it as the “Aboriginal Opportunity”). I usually answer with hard to define and/or explain concepts such as re-empower societies, stop treating Aborigines as clients, celebrate and respect diversity (cultural/linguistic) etc. etc.

It may be simpler to paraphrase Tim Costello: “I don’t know the answers, but building obscenely expensive Police facilities isn’t one of them”

….how many times can a man turn his head, and pretend that he just doesn’t see?…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdoSAdv5vLE

The answer my friend is Blowing in the Wind…

Pinne kanam,
Frank

Dear reader, it’s school holidays.

For those of you who have passed this phase of life, you are entitled to feel quite smug. And for those of you have avoided the entire construct altogether, you are so profoundly wealthy you would undoubtedly console yourself amongst your investment properties, share and tax havens and console yourself, “money well spent”. But for those of us with ‘Kids’, and wives, ex’s, de-facto’s, who beat you down and demand private education for these wastrels it just gets worse. Just when you think it’s safe to look above the parapet they’re demanding you take the brats somewhere! And it‘ll COST more money!! Worse still the cost just grows and grows, and if you can’t find a paddock and a tent to dump them in, you’re a gonner.

The preferred option for many parents. An oganised school holidays program.

Such is life! We then have no recourse, (as being with children constantly addles the brain), but to take a diversionary approach to the manifest responsibilities attendant upon maintaining the highest standards demanded by our readership. And in doing so, let you know how we publish things in this blog, So (dear reader) enjoy this rare insight and rest assured now that it comes to you not just as copy, but ‘Fresh off the Press”!

The day begins at ten to six. Information gleaned from the dailies is fed into our central resource Utilities depot, (CRUD). At 6.00 am the digested pieces, facts, news information and numerous editorials are prepared by our willing and esteemed stenographer, Ms, Virgellia Prune, and distilled into broad categories; Sport, Politics, the Environment, Law, and the miscellany topics of special interest so favoured amongst us all. Since the dismissal of Abbott, we’ve been at our wits end to maintain the “Bite” , and with the complete ossification of Rupert Murdoch, we fear that we may in the Australian body politic be entering a new dark age.

Still, there’s enough out there in the real world to keep our spirits up. After synthesis by Virginia Prune, the information is the passed to our senior editor, Mr Bertrand Fossil for an opinion piece directing us where to go for more detailed analysis and examination. From here the major issues falling into those aforementioned categories are pinned to a board. From this board the categories are colour coded, and the sub editor passes the responsibility of the final cut to our senior editor, Mr Cyril Cosgreave.. Mr Cosgreave then clears the room and selects from his desk three superb silver tipped darts, (ex Commonwealth Games) and attempts to “score a bullseye” on the piece that attracts his attention most. If he misses which invariably he does, he has another go, and eventually the target is ‘scored’. The piece is then placed inside our ‘editorial’ capsule and propelled, within its brass exoskeleton, (fed by vacuum tube) to the collating and cipher department on the fourteenth floor. From here, the message is removed, and the empty capsule sent back via drainpipe to the despatch department. This entire process takes minutes!!!

Senior Editor. Mr Cosgreave.

In the collating room, the basic typewritten message is then played out on a vibraphone, and the resultant cacaphonic melody translated into braille and then sung by our retired de-coder and soprano, Dame Myra Pitchfork. From this process we gain perfect variable pitch and then the piece you see before you is typed via enigma machine processed, de-coded again and then sent out of our offices for copy. And that’s how we do things here. We’re the envy of Rupert, and through such subterfuge keep one step ahead of his ‘Evil Empire”. It is our commitment to stand steadfast, rise above the sludge of mediocrity and maintain complete and absolute independence.

God save the Queen.

Will Rageon. Studio Portrait. Kindly lent to us by the Minister for Science, Technology and Costume Design, The Rt.Hon Christopher Pyne . M.P. The next Paul Keating?

Dear reader extraordinarily we have received the most stunning information form our undercover Canberra mole ‘Will Rageon‘. Will has been quite busy working within the Canberra Press Gallery, the IPA and the HR Nicholls Society in examining the many causes of Mr Abbott’s downfall. In this respect he has undertaken a forensic examination. No fragment, no tissue of evidence, no atom directed for, against and impartial has been neglected. Indeed with meticulous thoroughness our correspondent has gleaned, garnished and gathered from the very dust of those ossified corridors to his fingertips the most up to date information. Through his association with none other then ‘Nugget’ (H.C) Coombs and Michelle Grattan he has corroborated with pscephologists, phrenologists and egyptologists to give us this most crucial insight into the machination at the absolutely ‘toppest’ level. This research is now published for the very first time, and we at pcbycp feel quite confident that it provides with forensic clarity the unquestionable “ REASON WHY?”

Hold on, for the journey is rocky and tempestuous:

The Abbott Mystery. A tragedy in one act.

‘I have solved the mystery of where and why Mr Abbott achieved the highest orifice in the land.   Our powerful movers and shakers of the Far Syde (The Far Right )  Syde being near Sydney , looked for a counter to the Left’s stunningly adroit word chiseler, who crucified the far right – one Paul Keating.   Being unable to find anyone with the invective and wit of that man they turned to an infamous pugilist  and bully who had blooded himself in Sydney University politics.   Their man was ideal for bludgeoning a party in power, and wrecking three Labor Prime Ministers, with non intellectual three word statements and slogans. No subtleties here.   Our chap who became leader did not have the gumption to run a water closet, let alone a parliamentary cabinet, and the rest is history.   So those that are left (The “Good Guise” )  can enjoy the Schadenfreude until the next election, when they will  need to find a new word smith, to equal Mr Keating’.

But dear reader in the interests of impartiality and balance we give you this interpretation of the fall of Abbott from none other than Bob Cameron, in which the Abbott downfall is given a peculiar light, and gives us some cause for reflection as to the ins and outs of the ‘tenth’ in shortest serving prime ministers.

Bob Cameron. RHS. Amusing, but not quite equal to Paul Keating

Please reader. This must be read in a Clydeside accent…

‘Santa’. The Late B.A. Santamaria. In the act of putting his ‘little helper’ on the Christmas Wish list. Not up there with P.K either.

‘In my opinion, Mister Aboott is as much a victim of his hubris as his capacity for self delusion, one up-manship and thuggery. He is a proof perfect of the very worst of the street fighting pugilist bully boy rum rebellion type that we associate with the tories. Incomprehensible, portentous, blind, ham -fisted……yes indeed as a rhodes scholar he ensured through none other than his crony Dyson Heydon, a blue ribband for mediocrity and mendacious malapropisms. Who canna forget ‘the suppository of wisdom’, and the ‘debt and deficit disaster’, Aye, his disaster as the bastard child of B.A Santamaria defiled the very essence of the commonwealth to his delusional flights of self aggrandisement’.

And from the late B.A Santamaria.

‘My little helper has failed in his quest, but gladly I anoint so that others may follow. In his stead, foremost amongst them, Corey… Arise Sir Corey’.

And finally from Mr Keating himself.

Keating. ‘Bigger than Rome’. And up there with Keating. Really!!

‘Abbott?…Who’?

The Sunbeam Sultana

Dear Reader, another instalment from the archive, in which we give timely praise to the “cardboard wonder”, our very own “Biscuit Bomber”, the ‘Sunbeam Sultana’.

The unusually striking appearance of the Sunbeam Sultana. Note the open gun ports and distinctive “packing case” fuselage.

Ingenuity has always been a byword for Australian technical knowhow. Invention is second nature to a country steeped in the vicissitudes of climate and variability. The Sunbeam Sultana, was originally developed as the CAF Cardboard in response to a competition seeking a low cost, high volume manufacture, economical transport and logistics aircraft. Implicit in the brief was the requirement that manufacture should not require highly developed skills. The initial aircraft prototype, (‘The Picola Prune”) manufactured at the Sunraysia Dried Fruit and Grape Processing Company plants stone fruit and jam hydration plant in Robinvale, performed regularly at the Mildura Field Days in early 1941. Impressed by the ingenuity, reliability and craftsmanship exhibited in a test flight over Canberra the judges duly awarded it first prize.

Designed originally as a stop gap replacement to the worthy but slow DC3 Biscuit Bomber. It outperformed the Wapiti, Wackett and Wirraway in offering fast, lightweight transport, with performance, so exhilarating, the aircraft design establishment nicknamed it the ‘Cardboard Comet’. Nothing encapsulated this capacity for improvisation more then the ‘Sunbeam Sultana’. Conceived, developed and refined by a locals who knew their business the Riverland Dried Fruit Packing Case Company, the Sultana proved the old adage; ‘where there is a will, there is a way,’. And a more willing product could not have been found. Developed over a considerable period of time, the brain child and Des and Wes Dunt, of Mildura. Inventors of the ‘Dunt Dart’, the pioneering delivery van constructed entirely of plywood.

Des and Wes Dunt. “The Dunt Brothers”. Pioneering aircraft designers. Photo taken c. 1936. Generously donated by the Rt. Hon. Christopher Pyne, Minister for Science and whatnot. From his personal collection.

The Sultana was a cardboard bonded and laminated structure, bonded to an interior framework of reconfigured packing cases. Its secret in durability was the patented waxing of the card itself which gave it durability and protection from its nemesis ‘moisture’. This ultra lightweight aircraft was then powered by two Bristol Mercury engines. These gave the aircraft exhilarating power and scintillating performance. The Sultana was an extraordinary aircraft, Due to its light weight It had breathtaking performance, being able to climb to 20,000 feet in under five minutes, Capable of delivering a payload of bombs, (some 2000 k) over a distance of 2000 miles an endurance of 24 hrs, and formidable punch in the form of 4 20mm hispano suiza cannon. Incredibly due to its lightweight construction testing proved that in addition to the forward defensive armament, the Sultana could be equipped with a broadside of Lee Enfield .303’s firing through open gunports on either side of the fuselage. The cardboard was described by none other than Clive ‘Killer’ Caldwell as; ‘imagine being wacked over the head with a rolled up newspaper and a stick of dynamite, any way you use it, it’ll hurt’.

Caldwell. Instructing aircraftsmen on how to utilise rubber hose in defence of the Northen Territory. Hose generously donated by the Rt. Hon. Christopher Pyne. From his personal collection.

And hurt it did. Destroying swarms of japanese aircraft with its capacity to deliver. The Sultana could absorb any fire without damage. With self sealing tanks, and its lightweight structure, ordnance just simply passed through it. It was easy to repair, (Masking Tape, and a Stanley Knife), thus enabling relatively unskilled maintenance crew to get them back in flying condition. As the slogan went, ‘Ingenuity it’s own reward, build another cardboard’. In one celebrated engagement, a squadron of Sultanas was intercepted by Betty’s’ and they proved no match, beaten and bashed by the cardboard cohorts. Stimulated by their success in the defense of Darwin and Broome, the Sultana was consigned to Port Moresby readied for an attack on Milne Bay with a mixed escort of Kitty Hawks and Beaufort’s.

Betty Bombers of No. 8 Fukushima Squadron fly headlong into a Sultana Attack.

Scrambled for attack in the early night, the Sultanas gathered above the Owen Stanley’s and prepared to descend upon the landing barges, with the intention of strafing the beaches. Just at that moment, a monsoonal rain squall (which are quite frequent in this area) un-leashed it tropical fury. Within minutes, the Cardboards,were soaked and in an instant their superb aerodynamic qualities were rendered soggy. With drooping wings, sagging ailerons, and soppy spinner the cardboards ‘sludged’ into the hillsides, lost beneath the cloud cover. The subsequent investigation revealed, ‘waterlogging and warpage’. In the words of the enquiry, the cardboard though formidable was not designed for tropical climes an oversight not foreseen in the design offices of the dry interior. The protective waxing surface had melted over a period of weeks in the tropical heat, and stress fractures around the cockpit indicated that the waxing had been scraped by pilots as a substitute for brilliantine. Sadly, what promised to be a biscuit bomber bombed. A very soggy biscuit indeed.

Sunbeam Sultana Specifications

Crew: 2. Range: 2000 miles

Powerplant: Two Bristol Mercury Radial Engines. Max speed: 320 mph @ 30,000 feet

Armament 4 x 20 mm Hispano Suiza cannons. 2 x 250 lb bombs. 2 x 250 lb depth charges.

Operators: RAAF

From Lao Tsu “Tao Te Ching”.  Sixty-Six.  A poem about leadership and humility.  (Yes, the two go together.)

Why is the sea king of a hundred streams?
Because it lies below them.
Therefore it is the king of a hundred streams.

If the sage would guide the people, he must serve with humility.
If he would lead them, he must follow behind.
In this way when the sage rules, the people will not feel oppressed;
When he stands before them, they will not be harmed.
The whole world will support him and will not tire of him.

Because he does not compete,
He does not meet competition.