Will Rageon. Studio Portrait. Kindly lent to us by the Minister for Science, Technology and Costume Design, The Rt.Hon Christopher Pyne . M.P. The next Paul Keating?

Dear reader extraordinarily we have received the most stunning information form our undercover Canberra mole ‘Will Rageon‘. Will has been quite busy working within the Canberra Press Gallery, the IPA and the HR Nicholls Society in examining the many causes of Mr Abbott’s downfall. In this respect he has undertaken a forensic examination. No fragment, no tissue of evidence, no atom directed for, against and impartial has been neglected. Indeed with meticulous thoroughness our correspondent has gleaned, garnished and gathered from the very dust of those ossified corridors to his fingertips the most up to date information. Through his association with none other then ‘Nugget’ (H.C) Coombs and Michelle Grattan he has corroborated with pscephologists, phrenologists and egyptologists to give us this most crucial insight into the machination at the absolutely ‘toppest’ level. This research is now published for the very first time, and we at pcbycp feel quite confident that it provides with forensic clarity the unquestionable “ REASON WHY?”

Hold on, for the journey is rocky and tempestuous:

The Abbott Mystery. A tragedy in one act.

‘I have solved the mystery of where and why Mr Abbott achieved the highest orifice in the land.   Our powerful movers and shakers of the Far Syde (The Far Right )  Syde being near Sydney , looked for a counter to the Left’s stunningly adroit word chiseler, who crucified the far right – one Paul Keating.   Being unable to find anyone with the invective and wit of that man they turned to an infamous pugilist  and bully who had blooded himself in Sydney University politics.   Their man was ideal for bludgeoning a party in power, and wrecking three Labor Prime Ministers, with non intellectual three word statements and slogans. No subtleties here.   Our chap who became leader did not have the gumption to run a water closet, let alone a parliamentary cabinet, and the rest is history.   So those that are left (The “Good Guise” )  can enjoy the Schadenfreude until the next election, when they will  need to find a new word smith, to equal Mr Keating’.

But dear reader in the interests of impartiality and balance we give you this interpretation of the fall of Abbott from none other than Bob Cameron, in which the Abbott downfall is given a peculiar light, and gives us some cause for reflection as to the ins and outs of the ‘tenth’ in shortest serving prime ministers.

Bob Cameron. RHS. Amusing, but not quite equal to Paul Keating

Please reader. This must be read in a Clydeside accent…

‘Santa’. The Late B.A. Santamaria. In the act of putting his ‘little helper’ on the Christmas Wish list. Not up there with P.K either.

‘In my opinion, Mister Aboott is as much a victim of his hubris as his capacity for self delusion, one up-manship and thuggery. He is a proof perfect of the very worst of the street fighting pugilist bully boy rum rebellion type that we associate with the tories. Incomprehensible, portentous, blind, ham -fisted……yes indeed as a rhodes scholar he ensured through none other than his crony Dyson Heydon, a blue ribband for mediocrity and mendacious malapropisms. Who canna forget ‘the suppository of wisdom’, and the ‘debt and deficit disaster’, Aye, his disaster as the bastard child of B.A Santamaria defiled the very essence of the commonwealth to his delusional flights of self aggrandisement’.

And from the late B.A Santamaria.

‘My little helper has failed in his quest, but gladly I anoint so that others may follow. In his stead, foremost amongst them, Corey… Arise Sir Corey’.

And finally from Mr Keating himself.

Keating. ‘Bigger than Rome’. And up there with Keating. Really!!

‘Abbott?…Who’?