MDFF 30 September 2017

This post ‘The Common People’ arrived this week.

Ave plebs,

 Latin: ‘plebs’- the common people|
Latin: ‘scitum’- a decree

A ‘plebiscite’ is thus a decree by the common people.

Paul Young…Love of the Common People…

In Australia at present a postal plebiscite is being held.

The question being asked is: “Should the law be changed to allow same-sex couples to marry”

There are two boxes labelled ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ and just in case the common people don’t quite follow, in brackets it says ‘mark one box only’

Any proposed change to the Australian Constitution must be put to a vote of all Australian voters in a referendum.

The 1967 Referendum in which over 90% of the common people of Australia voted ‘yes’ is widely and wrongly believed to have given Aborigines (and Torres Strait Islanders) the vote, whereas what it actually did is for The First Australians and their descendants to be counted as people in the national census as distinct from being considered part of the Fauna and Flora of this continent.

Another common misconception in Australia is that the Doctrine of ‘Terra Nullius’ refers to a land devoid of inhabitants. As an Australian Prime Minister once famously put it “before the British settled it, Australia was ‘nothing but bush’…” That same intellectual giant also said that living in a remote part of Australia was a “lifestyle choice” that his Government wasn’t prepared to support. Actually Terra nullius alludes to there being no formal ownership of the land. Such was usually conveniently declared, without any effort to ascertain it’s truth or otherwise.

Terra nullius (/ˈtɛrə.nʌˈlaɪəs/, plural terrae nullius) is a Latin expression meaning “nobody’s land”, and is a principle sometimes used in international law to describe territory that may be acquired by a state’s occupation of it.

A quarter of a century ago the Australian High Court overturned “terra nullius” in Australia by what became known as the Mabo Decision.

For years now there have been moves to amend the Australian Constitution so as to recognise Australia’s First Peoples.

In 2010 when such moves once again came to the fore, country music star Warren H. Williams from Ntaria (Hermannsburg) spoke out against it. I quote from an article which appeared back then:

He says it is another move to pacify Indigenous people.

Mr Williams says asking the wider Australian community whether it is okay to acknowledge Indigenous people in the constitution is insulting.

“I mean this is … the 21st century and we’re still going to a vote to get Aboriginal people in the constitution, it is meaningless … we had to struggle to get the referendum in 1967, we had to fight, we had to beg, just about beg to get the Prime Minister to say sorry to our people,” he said.

“Why is that coming in all of a sudden, is it taking away from what we are arguing about, the Intervention and all that? It just seems like why, why is it happening?”

Mr Williams says the move is a weak symbolic gesture that is detracting from real issues affecting Indigenous people.

Great Southern Land- Warren H Williams……

I agreed with Warren H. back then and I still do. The Government sponsored ‘Recognise’ campaign officially came to an end about six weeks ago. These two images say it all:

In Yuendumu the last few days, temperatures have reached the high thirties (Centigrade). A brisk hot and dry westerly wind has sprung up. From a previous Dispatch:

“When wardapi (goannas) hear the sound of the karapurda they wake up from their hibernation slumber. Wirlititi (Emu-chicks) break out of their eggs and wildflowers begin to blossom.

Karapurda is a warm westerly wind which signals the end of the cold season.”

Warren H.Williams….Westerly Wind…

Increasingly we are being subjected to the politics of the red herring, the non-sequitur, bread and circuses, distractions all. The Spanish word ‘prestidigitador’ comes to mind.

Donald Trump’s brief trip to Saudi Arabia, when he sold that shining example of Democracy one and a half billion dollars worth of weapons, is hardly mentioned.

All we hear about are the latest Tweets.

…..tweet tweet….tweet tweet ….Bobby Day- Rockin Robin

Remote Australian Aborigines are being given the opportunity to mark a box (yes or no) on same sex marriage. No such opportunity is given them when it comes to such as land rights, bilingual education, inclusion of customary law in the legal system and just plain being allowed to decide how to live their lives.

As for the wider Australia, no plebiscite on approving one billion dollars in Government assistance to what would become the largest coal mine in the world.

No plebiscite whenever the Government decides to deploy troops overseas.

No plebiscite whenever the Government decides to sign up on Free Trade Deals.

No plebiscite on whether newcomers to this country should be competent in English. Very many current Australian citizens wouldn’t be- me included- if their parents or grandparents had been subjected to current English competency requirements. Many of our Parliamentarians’ English competency leaves much to be desired, especially when it comes to “clear thinking” which was a significant part of the curriculum when I received my secondary education in Australia.

Must stop. I’ll try and find some nice music to reward those who stuck it out ….

….I may make you feel,
But I can’t make you think…

Jethro Tull… Thick as a Brick…

Beatus scitique plebis unus


Mackle, more or less…

You’d never think that sport could even be political. And we at pcbycp are extremely, glad that the former PM has suggested thus.

Tony V Macklemore.

It never occured to us.

We all remember Berlin back in 36, that might have been a bit political. And we do remember when the Yanks and all clean-minded people boycotted the Moscow Olympics back in 1980, when the Ruskies invaded Afghanistan. And someone has even suggested that the Olympics have been held in the United Sated some five times since its inception may be political. But we know that is rubbish. The yanks are our staunch allies and whatever they do is fine by us. That’s why we’re always first in line to civilise Korea, Vitenam, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Syria. We’re mates, and in sport, mateship is what really counts. And now we’re in Afghanistan, and been there now for twenty years, is testament to the fact that we’re on the side of right, and all nay-sayers are just malcontents and soft-cocks.

Big Bob.

Now this Macklemore stuff is way over the top. Who is this bloke? Is he a bloke? We’re really upset. We listen to easy listening, and have a soft spot for Enya and Richard Clayderrman. And they never get a guernsey at the grand final. Bob Katter has it up to here:

“I mean, this CEO bloke who made this decision, mate, it’s tantamount to seeping sewage into the debutante ball.”

“They said of the Americans during the war that there were three problems with them: over-sexed, over-paid and over here,”

“Well, this little bloke, Macklemore, or whatever his name is, is coming over here. Well mate, go home, we don’t want you here.

ARL Entertainment Sub-committee vetting half-time entertainers.

“The people that will be there at this game don’t want you.”

Meatloaf. Knew nothing of AFL, Footy, Australia. Half Time GOLD!

And we agree. Who is this Macklemore? He aint Meatloaf, or Rick Astley, or any other past their prime b-grade American performer. That’s why we’re hopping mad. The most important criteria for any Grand Final is to find soemone, who MUST BE FOREIGN, who is perhaps eaking out their post-stardom lifestyle with odd joints at nightclubs and cruise ships and offer them millions to sing at a grand final. That’s the implict rule in Grand Finals, whether it be AFL or ARL. The half-time entertainment must be by a singer no one has ever heard of. The singer must be past their prime, and they must be FOREIGN. This is an undisputed fact, the singer must, (and there will be a test more stringent than the famous dictation test), the singer, must have no knowledge of Australian sport whatsoever. And uphold the principle of the CULTURAL CRINGE.

And that trust between the AFL, the ARL and the public has been broken. Apparently this bloke Macklemore is known by young people. That is just not on. It must cease.

Perhaps in disgust at our treatment of foreign singers who know nothing about aussie sport, the U.S government has retaliated by refusing to send an ambassador. It’s tit for tat politics, and the yanks are very unhappy. They’re being lobbied by out of work actors and singers. And we choose someone who is current and possibly even sings something politically and socially relevant. This experimentation with half time entertainment must cease.

May we suggest a solution.

Find an entertainer with massive cross-cultural appeal, who can bridge the cultural divide. Someone who is a testament of our struggle to realease ourselves from colonialism and the shackles that incarcerate the soul.

Anyone for Rolf Haris?



Whilst energy policy stalls, Roma burns.

Malcolm Roberts. Deriding “fake Science”

We wish to apologise for the tendency to exaggerate. Indeed in this era of ‘fake news’, there is an unquestionable tendency for hyperbolic exaggeration. And sadly, with the iminent demise of Malcolm Roberts, the fiery climate denier antagonist, we’re worried we wont have anyone left to do the heavy lifting on climate change denial. We are encouraged though that Matt Canavan may escape the consequences of his mummy’s misadventure, and plead, “I didn’t know” as proposed by the Attorney General George Brandis. The way George sees it, Matt, Barnaby, and even Larissa should be excused cos they didn’t know they were non- Australians.

God, who created life, so that Queenslanders could believe in COAL

Coal, Un- elected and about to address the floor of Parliament.

Whereas, Malcolm clearly did know, and even though he sent furious emails to a site that never existed, (but it clearly and palpably existed in his mind) and pretended he didn’t know his dad was a pom and he was born in India, it was all a bit climate change. Malcolm has a way with facts. And if you disagree with him, he’ll tell you that the science is wrong, and suggest the reason why it’s wrong is because of a huge cover-up. A conspiracy to divert the tapayers finds away from rent seeking corporations into worthwhile emergent industries, like renewables. Malcolm is inistent on this, that fake science is ruining Australia. And like Larry Marshall CEO of the greatly depleted CSIRO, they are in lock step agreement. Anyone who disagrees with their view of things should go. The last thing they want is impartial scientific research. That’s why they’ve set up their own institute within the institute, the Carboniferous Oils and Lignite Institute, (COAL).

That’s why Malcolm, and Matt, and Barnaby all agree that the best thing the taxpayers can do is to fund the worlds biggest coal fired power station in, (you guessed it) Queensland. Queensland is good for people like Matt and Malcolm and Barnaby. For a start most Queenslanders eschew climate science for bibilical science. It’s way easier to understand. The earth is six thousand years old. Because god, a bearded, irascible old man, says so.

Liddell Power Station is to be closed. But the good news is the Federal Government wants to buiild the worlds biggest in Queensland.

That’s the kinda science we like. A big power station will be funded one hundred percent by the taxpayers. No energy company will go near it, cos they say coal is so yesterday. But to the Minerals Council and other shareholders linked to coal thing it’s a fabulous idea. And for a short time, it may even employ some people. That’s a bonus. But most emphatically, beyond the few jobs and bonuses it will tell the world, that Queenslanders Don’t believe in climate change.

And that’s reassuring.

Because just the other day parts of Queensland hit 45 degrees in September. What was that? Forty five degrees in September? Yes indeed, the hottest September EVER. Still, Malcolm, Barbany and George, Larry, et al question the science of weather records. ‘Close the Bureau of Meterology’ they say. And whilst we’re at it, ‘close down the ABC’.

God also invented Cricket.

Close down anyone who says that the planet is hotting up, and we’re all stuffed. We don’t want to hear that sort of news, it’s depressing, and effects the bottom line for shareholders.

And good news is what the public wants. And what do the public want now. Gay marriage? Cheaper energy? Equitable taxes? A clean environment? Access to good education?

Nup, none of the above.

The public wants a competitive Grand Final.

And, If Richmond doesn’t win, we’re all stuffed.

God, as a younger man, played for Richmond.

It’s un-deniable.

Mind your language

Lew Skannen. Photographed between speaking engagements.

Hmm, for those of us yet not mired in the complexities of the non binding, non compulsory marriage debate, comes this scintillating piece from the luminary of the lumosphere, Lew Skannen. We don’t know much about Lew, cept to say he’s really on the mark about pedantry. And we’re glad to say his type are not quite yet extinct. He’s got something to say on that, and like an honest man in parliament, is a rare thing indeed.  His piece is titled:

In Defence of a Language under Siege from Pedantry.

Things have changed, changed utterly.

In the old days if people died, they became, in reality, dead.

Lew’s mascot, A Dodo he calls “strewth”

Milleniums (sick) hurtled by and old 18th century fossickers began to find and record the existence of squillion year old, ludicrously large, huge things wot used to wander about among us (or not). Time passed and other feathered huge things were discovered as well. It then became a paleontological bawling match amongst the dig-up-the-past experts as to whether the first discovered huge things had had feathers of their own or whether the feathers had come later.

“Trumpish”, comes in three flavours and an additional flavour we call Abbott.

In any event, one way or the other, all of these Pay Leo chaps made a daycent living out of contradicting each other. digging up stuff, and writing about the distant past as if they really, really knew how things had been back a few million years ago. All sorts of weird discoveries arrived, were cataloged, marvelled over and eventually declared extinct. I personally myself have found these arguments, theories and contradictory ideas of the greatest interest and have attempted, as a lay man, to follow all this huge stuff as it has developed.
Wot I dont understand is why a certain descriptive term, a term used by all sorts of Attenborough-ish commentators for as long as I can remember is nowadays, in a shameful, parochially narrow-minded Trumpish way, nowadays wholly  unacceptable.  I refer, of course, to the much favoured, much used and easily understood term; ‘…become extinct…’
Huge, ungainly, dirty great animals and birds, it would seem, in the long time ago, were surprised by a cosmic thunderbolt and, as a consequence, became extinct. This I understand. Something unmerciful apparently fell out of the sky and made shite of all and (almost) sundry.
To suggest that they had ‘…gone extinct…’  seems to me to suggest that the fauna of the time had a choice in the matter, that they had ‘…gone…’ , on observing the thunderbolt, like the legendary lemmings and flung themselves off the edge of the world. (You will, doubtless, of course, remember too that the Earth was flat at the time….)

Attenborough. Of derring-do and the paleo-diet fame.

I would like to take it upon myself, in this instance, to volunteer to break the nose of the pedantically tedious bore who had influence enough, in the circle in which he inhabits, to foist this witless change upon the groves of academe and  sadly too on the most parrot-like of our less academically clad commentators. The term can be heard nowadays in the most common of paleontological circles as if it had always existed, as if it had always been so. It has not, so stick it, if I may make so bold, up your logically disastrous jumper!  I refuse, absolutely to use the term lest this bastard ‘creation’ stick in my craw!

Also too, the argument in favour of this change, the ‘…Gone Extinct-ers…’ would appear to make the point that you cannot ‘become’ extinct because to ‘become’ suggests that creativity is in progress, whereas ‘…extinction…’ suggests nothingness.  In my opinion,for the ‘…Gone Extinct..’ camp to attempt this argument is, in the world we live in, the most exquisite bollox. This argument would only work if we were all of  Mr Spock’s disposition and logic ruled our language and our world. Our language is, au contraire, wonderfully chock-full of ludicrous grammatical contradictions, of demented illogicalities and superbly maniacal convolutions so complex that it is a miracle any of us can speak the language at all, let alone write the bloody thing down!

Dear reader, we apologise for the above image as it contained the wrong Attenborough. This is an image of the “correct one” in the process of describing the lesser known Abotto-phyte. The Crown of thorns starfish of reason.


Glad I got that off my chest…

Lew Skannen

Poetry Sunday 24 September 2017

Today a couple of new poem from Windham Campbell prize winning poet and pcbycp regular Ali Cabby Eckermann


I pine the absence 
of my inner child
she ran away
to fulfil her dreams

my dreams shattered 
I remain in the shards
alone I call out to her
there is no echo of response

stolen generations

the sound of the earth
dropping down, thrown
onto the lid of his coffin
is dreadful, and raw
his coffin lying atop
of hers, his mother
he met when he died

was there a sliver of a welcome
a return to her embrace
any forgiveness in this attempt
to right this wrong?

from The Aura of Loss, a limited edition print run by little windows 2017.

MDFF 23 September 2017

This Dispatch was originally distributed 25 January 2013.  The post has been edited.

In David Hill’s book ‘The Great Race’ (The Race Between the English and the French to Complete the Map of Australia), the French explorer Baudin is quoted in a letter to his friend Governor Phillip (who apparently was fluent in French) as follows:

“…I have never been able to conceive that there was justice or even fairness on the part of Europeans in seizing, in the name of their governments, a land seen for the first time, when it is inhabited by men who have not always deserved the title of savages or cannibals that has freely been given them; whereas they were still only children of nature and just as your Scotch Highlanders or our Breton peasants, etc. who, if they do not eat their fellow men, are just as objectionable.

From this it appears to me that it would be infinitely more glorious for your nation, as for mine, to mould for society the inhabitants of its own country over whom it has rights, rather than wishing to occupy itself with the improvement of those who are far removed from it (my emphasis) by beginning with seizing the soil which belongs to them and which saw their birth…” (Nov. 1802)

Two hundred and ten years later Dr. Gary Johns, former president of the now defunct Bennelong Society (a right wing assimilationist think tank) wrote an article in which he seeks to occupy himself with the improvement of those who are far removed from him.

Things can only get better….

Dr. Johns’ article reviews Stephanie Jarrett’s soon to be released book ‘Liberating Aboriginal People from Violence’. Some shocking statistics are presented which lead Ms. Jarrett to the conclusion that the best option for Australian Aborigines to avoid or reduce violence is to move to the metropolitan areas and join the mainstream.

Living in the mainstream…..

Using the same logic … non sequitur cause and effect… I conclude from the statistics presented in the article that non Indigenous Australians would also improve their safety by returning to the cities. Remote Australia would once again become ‘Terra Nullius’.

I furthermore conclude that an even better option for Indigenous Australians is to all move to Afghanistan where to the best of my knowledge not a single Australian Aborigine has been hospitalised as a result of violence.

All of this of course is nonsense. I don’t know what Gary Johns’ doctorate is in (basket weaving?) but statistics and logic certainly seem to have been lacking in his education. Both Gary & Stephanie appear to have a poor grasp of the principles of… cause and effect… and of justice and fairness.

Blind eyes of justice,
Deaf ears of power
Dumb moves of money
Left us in a desperate hour
Is this the final solution?

Revolution by Dr. John….

Oops wrong Doctor!

European ‘culture’ in fairly recent times gave us the Holocaust, two world wars and many other calamities. It will be a sad day when the multi-faceted European Culture that gave us so many wonders, is judged solely by its abominations.

Equally sad is the day when remote Aboriginal Australia is judged solely on stereotypes and stigmatisation derived from politically opportunistic spin and the dishonest or incompetent use of statistics and from general ignorance.

That day is already here.

As observed by us in Yuendumu, most of the lateral violence, hospitalisations, homicides etc. occur in places like Alice Springs. Attention is focused on the violence per se; not enough serious effort goes into researching the causes of violence. I suspect that disempowerment and dispossession has a fair bit to do with it. Pushing people away from the bush is definitely not the answer, the reverse is probably true. Blaming all anti-social behaviour to alleged inherent violence in an unchanging 40,000 year old culture is simplistic and false. As  Baudin said all that time ago  “…I have never been able to conceive that there was justice or even fairness on the part Europeans…” about the then land grab. His words are applicable to the treatment of Aborigines today. We are seeing the final stages of the land grab.

As Rosalie Kunoth-Monks said: “There is no Aboriginal Problem in Australia, only a ‘white-fellow’ problem”

A good friend of mine sends me books by Eduardo Galeano, who has become my favourite Latin-American writer. He specializes in vignettes.

One such has a small list of graffiti:

The words of the prophets are written on the subway wall… 

“ ¡ Basta de hechos! … ¡ Queremos promesas ! “
(No more deeds!, we want promises!)

A bientot!


Violence in the name of tolerance

Ruler of the Free World talks Turkey.

Dear reader, you must admit its getting harder and harder to satirise the level of moronocism, (is there such a word?) in the Australian body politic. We’ve had to sack out humourists, our script writers and even our class-clown just to keep pace with the idiocy. And lastly after the Malcolm Roberts citizenship saga, we had to sack the editor in chief. We now just rely on our typist, Mr Crudgemore (OBE), and our girl Friday, mistress Letisia, to keep us on track. But, after Trump’s outburst at the United Nations, we had to let them go as well.

A Turkey

We might as well say, (as they do in the classics), “were finished”. This folks is our General Gordon moment. Our Scott of the Antarctica moment. Or more fittingly our Billy Snedden moment. We cannot go on.

In the interests of keeping our satirical bent alive, and due to the unforseen financial constraints we suffer as a consequence of us, (with the Guardian) being exluded by the 66 million “give the rest to Rupert legislation”, we’re just going to put the news in as we read it and hope you get a laugh. It’s sort of cheating really, but hey!! So is pretending to employ journalists.

This gem comes to us for the ABC, we reprint it in Full. (no pun intended)

Another Turkey

Former prime minister Tony Abbott has said he was attacked by a same-sex marriage campaigner in Hobart, who he said headbutted him after asking to shake his hand.

Cock Fight

Mr Abbott, who has been campaigning for the no vote in the same-sex marriage postal survey, was in Tasmania to attend a Young Liberal cocktail party this evening when the alleged incident occurred, the ABC understands.
He told Macquarie Radio he was headbutted by a campaigner wearing a Vote Yes badge after the man approached him, he thought to shake hands.
He said his injuries were minor, and that he had a “very slightly swollen lip”.
Mr Abbott said he was walking from the Mercury newspaper offices towards his hotel in the Docks area when he heard a man yell out, “Hey, Tony!”
“I turned around, there was a chap wearing a Vote Yes badge, he says ‘I wanna shake your hand’, I went over to shake his hand and then he headbutted me,” he said on radio.
“He wasn’t very good at it, I’ve got to say, but he did make contact. The only damage was a very, very slightly swollen lip.

“I was with a member of my staff, [who] briefly grappled with this guy and then he ran off swearing his head off, basically.

The prominent opponent of same-sex marriage said it was “a reminder of how ugly this debate is getting”.
“And the ugliness is not coming from the defenders of marriage as it’s always been understood — the ugliness, the intolerance and indeed in this instance, the hint of violence, is coming from those who tell us in the name of decency and fairmindedness and freedom, we’ve got to allow same-sex marriage,” he said.
“The love is love brigade aren’t showing a lot of love.”
Mr Abbott said the attacker told him “you deserve it” as he was running away.
“I think it was pretty clear that this is was, to use the phrase, ‘politically motivated violence’,” Mr Abbott said.
“If the actual debate about same-sex marriage is producing this kind of intolerance and bullying, how much worse would it get if the brave new world of same-sex marriage actually came to be?”

Chicken Little meets Foghorn Leghorn

Please help us defend Tony. He is threatened. And he and coal alone can save Australians from thinking for ourselves


“the ugliness, the intolerance and indeed in this instance, the hint of violence, is coming from those who tell us in the name of decency and fairmindedness and freedom, we’ve got to allow same-sex marriage”.

Anyone for tennis?


The written word.

Corey, In the act of concentrating on family values whilst visiting Mansfield Public Toilets

Dear reader, following on the successful enterprise of the leader of the Australian Conservatives Party, the Rt Honorable Corey Bernardii M.P, to inject an unparrelleled flourish of funds into a primary school fundraiser, we raise the bar, to divert your attention to matters literal. And we’re talking words, not the stuff you find on the beach. And we might add, there’s nothing literal about the fulminations erupting from that firebrand of the coal furnace, Tony Abbott.

Saint Tone of the Santamaria is fuming that King Coal may be getting the boot. Instead, facing attack from reason, fair mindedness and the objectivity of science on all matters logical he’s done what any pugilist would do. In with the windmill, (though it be coal powered). To ensure that the objectionable froth from the renewable sector is quashed once an for all.


Death will smote all who eschew coal.

Progress without Coal is unthinkable.

Corey and Josh, working to make a primary school fundraiser special as a national event.

Only coal can deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom, of lord Rupert the Almighty etc, etc,etc..

We at pcbycp, have had enough, and despair for the days of good governance. It makes us Pyne for them olden days. When politicans worried about their electorate rather than the sinecure they are destined to get upon leaving parliament.

But, (‘we hear you say’) all is not lost. Our correspondent for the near north brings us this startling fragment of observation. We daresay a fragment made acute by the turmoil within our body politic.

Corey pretending to read. The book is clearly upside down.

He writes:

On the subject of the written word saying something other than what was intended, I was, as is my wont, hanging about the public lavatories in Mansfield, outside of which is a public notice board. I turned to remark on one of these notices to the other bystanders who, in the rudest fashion, adjusted their dark glasses, hitched up their coat collars and slunk swiftly away. How rude! I thought, adjusting my own collar and specs and bravely holding my ground.

Editor error. This is the Sheffield Pubic Toilets. Not the Mansfield Public Toilets. These toilets were once powered 100 percent by coal. Now closed by the insatiable ideology of  renewables.

Having recovered from this shameful example of unforgivable bad manners, we were invited by this same notice to add a card to the ‘Christmas Tree of Remembrance’ in the local library.
Here’s what it required of us;


How on earth do you persuade people or pets to die on a card of your choice? There must be a real skill to it and no mistake.

Unless of course your whole intention is to bump off a few of your more tedious relations, in which case you have the perfect opportunity to place a well aimed card beneath Uncle Charlie before the boring old fart hits the lino…hmmm…

I have been clearing out all sorts of junk which has accumulated in my drawers (sic) and came across the above tale. If I’m doubling up, if i’ve already told this story. I apologise.

And, credit to Corey, raising in excess of 140 k when they only wanted 900.

And then from out correspondent of the Rum Corps comes this;

A classic – apparently true – is:

“This research project will include a survey of participants broken down by age and sex…”

You didn’t mention whether you managed to submit your completed form by the due date.

(And how come “the ravages of the demon drink” didn’t merit its own category?)

The Mansfield Toilet block is powered entirely by Coal. A victory for non ideological energy.

Sir Emo of Atney.

Which just goes to show, there’s coal in both humanity and public toilets. Which demonstrates that Saint Tone can’t be all wrong, or right.

You’ll have to work that one out yourself. Litorally.


Hung, drawn and Quadranted

same sex marriage, akin to comparing apples with…… onions?

Dear reader, from within the maelstrom of the same sex marriage debate comes this compelling insight from none other than our notary of the near north Sir Atney of Emo. Sir Atney gave thought, and it’s our privelege to share these insights on what he terms the persepective of the, “ultra conservative”. That same group we at pcbycp term, “another fascist ideologue from the far right”. Indeed, and this may be the substance of a future discourse, the same lunatic fringe far right, that talks about any level-headed, measured approach to climate, sexuality, the environment, “anything”, as “ ideological. Funny how the right has captured the rhetoric of the left. “The left you say”? We beg your pardon, the left was officially “extincted”, (along with the CSIRO) way back. So prepare yourself for a Tuesday reflection, and it goes like this:

‘A Christian, ultra-conservative gent sent me a ‘Quadrant’ article arguing against the same sex marriage position.  Written by an ex-Anglican priest, this was full of such ex cathedra pronouncements as ’marriage is defined as…’ (defined by whom, I ask? Well, by scripture – of course!)

This the is the reply I was impelled to circulate’.


Tolerance… libertarian openness… a rejection of self-serving, bible-based definitions… These are some of the reasons why I’ll post ‘Yes!’.

Charles 1, and his horse. Nothing to do whatso-ever with the same sex debate. But a firm believer in himself and another bloke called God.

Christian nay-sayers fail to recognise the distinction between marriage as a Christian sacrament and marriage as a registered declaration recognised in civil law.   

In my view, one can proscribe or prescribe as one wishes with regard to the religious rite; but I see no reason why a sympathetic majority of society should hold back from extending the civil form of marriage to a significant minority of adults.

As for the canard that wedded gays or lesbians would pose a threat to children in their care, I suggest the much greater danger is represented by predatory priests, vicars and rabbis.

With all the talk about unacceptable values being imposed upon religionists, how did it happen that a largely secular society (without consultation) found itself subsidising the brainwashing of unformed minds in scripture classes?

Caligula and his horse, before coal stood on the floor of the parliament, there was a horse. His name Incitatus, that’s Latin for Coal.

And then a reply from none other than that titular tendenciously tragi-comic Tolmodian Lew Skannen;

I absolutely agree. If Caligula could make a senator of his horse and hump his sister (his own, not the horse’s) I see no barrier whatever to my marrying my Crufts winning collection of Red Setters and setting up home in either Barking, Essex or the Isle of Dogs. Naturally all of my canines will take the lead by wearing   appropriate dog collars to ensure the vicar feels at one with the proceedings.

Taking care of business. Good ol Christian values of the cover up and blame shifting.

I do feel somewhat strongly on this matter, so much so that I am seriously considering initiating a campaign calculated to deny the lower orders any opinion at all on matters of such grave importance. They shouldn’t be allowed an opinion, and that is that! Look what happened with Brexit! The arguments involved set upon, overtaken and overwhelmed by an ungovernable rabble who deserve only to be taken out and horsewhipped!  Orf wiv their ‘eads, I say!
 All they do is mill about, fume and talk shite all day. Somebody has to take responsibility for all this! They should all be taken to the rim, the very edge of the world and told to fuck off! That’ s what I think! Fuck off, I say! Git away out of it, and have this crack round the ear for your pains! Go on, then! Piss off!

Impressive, aye? And I have not, as yet, begun to fight…

And so the debate rages on. If you agree try and send us a non binding, non compulsory postal vote, make sure that the bindings are done up good and tightly and don’t forget to find a post. Only a straight, dependable white post will do.

Poetry Sunday 17 September 2017

Amber Essau is a New Zealand-born Samoan-Maori-Irish poet.  Here is her poem Horoi.  (Definitions below)

We enter like hands
open out
to cleanse
before the gate
water snaps
its fingers
along our side
Mum tells us
to wind up the windows
as we mould ourselves
into the lay of rocks
crisp coercion
summer immersion
leaving behind
the city
& green is new
to me
cows grinding
into grass
the shrivelling kina roe
on the horizon
dip out
of worries
that follow
the stream
swim out of my hair
Dip in
to way whenua
the ways
my Samoan father
would say
going up to great
grandpa’s old house
but now
there’s a bridge

horoi: wash, clean, cleanse, wipe.
kina: sea urchin, a delicacy much prized by many Maori
way whenua: stream, creek, river, water