New Super Dooper Deep Sea Trawler

A Bold New Era for Sustainable Fishing.

Dear reader, once again we’re at the very forefront of world innovation. In a glorious first for Australian Aquaculture the SUPER trawler M.V Francisco Pelsaert was launched by none other than the Federal Agricultural Minister himself, The Rt Hon. Mr. Barnaby Joyce. Dwarfing the nearby Abel Tasman, at a mere 14,000 tons, the Pelsaert at a whopping big 185,000 tons, (unloaded weight) is absolutely the latest thing in sustainable fishing. Joined for a photo opportunity by the Captain, Oscar Piscorious, the Minister affirmed, ‘Australia is at the forefront of sustainable fishing. This mighty vessel will bring certainty to the Australian Fishing Industry. With funding from the Mercury D, (formerly the Uranium Dial company) and the Fuk Yu, (Fukushima irradiated fish co op), the Pelsaert, celebrates the kind of maverick ‘can-do’ attitude that this country is famous for. This vessel can fish five hundred times more efficiently than a fleet of standard fishing vessels. It’s a huge boost for competitiveness, and a win win for export markets’.

super dooper trawler 2

The Super Dooper Trawler M.V.Francisco Pelsaert outside Port Phillip heads. Due to the size of the ship, (185,000 tons unloaded) the Paelsart receives container ships to transship product direct to overseas markets. Abel Tasman steams by in background.


Dr Cecil Coelacanth, from the C.S.I.RO was interviewed after the event to give his opinion at a breakfast hosted by Green Peace and Friends of the Earth. He suggested as he was the last marine scientist in active employment at the CSIRO his opinion was of little consequence. Off camera he was heard to remark ‘either way it’s a disaster for mankind. They’ve destroyed fish stocks around the world, I suppose it’s inevitable that we’d (the Scientists) be next’. The Minister who dismissed his stance as ‘scaremongering’, rallied  the crowd with his decision, pursued by National Party senators, to deny tax status to all green groups, and spread the federal money more evenly to “Proper and Sustainable Industries’. ‘These troublemakers, (green groups) have had it good for too long, they’re stopping us from realising our potential and severely limiting growth! This is not good for the taxpayer. This is not good for Humanity’!! Responding to a suggestions from a Fairfax journalist of CSIRO predictions of total collapse in three years time, his response was swift. ‘Three Years? Isn’t that beyond the electoral cycle?. Next Question’?

super dopper trawler 7

M.V Paelsart rendezvous with Super container Transport Fukiyama Maru off Flinders Island in the Furneaux group after completing “ clean sweep “ of Tasman Fisheries.



As for the trawler itself it possesses all the latest technology, with quadruple reel long line nets it can harvest fish, dolphins, seals, shark, (for the lucrative shark fin trade), and exclusively endangered species, (Coelacanth, Narwhale and Blue Whale) in extraction of basic ingredients for the booming Chinese Aphrodisiac Industry. ‘For years we’ve been lagging behind Africa in the exploitation of the White Rhino and another endangered species targeted for Chinese aphrodisiacs. Now at last we stand proud as world leaders. There is massive demand among Chinese business leaders, (successful party members), and this vessel will only service the tip of the iceberg’. And emphatically I’d like to say to our overseas customers, “This Iceberg is Open for Business’!!

super dooper trawler 3

Open for business!! Inside one of the processing bays. Product being processed and canned for export. Row Labels indicating basic streams of produce. ‘W’, Whale. ‘F’, Fish, (general). ‘M’, Mammal, (Seals,Dolphin,Walrus). ‘C’, Crustacea. ‘E’, Endangered. Note conveyor for processing and overhead gantry delivering newly caught species; Coelacanth, Dolphin, Seal , Narwhal, Oarfish, Walrus and Patagonian Tooth Fish.

“This technology will ensure that there’s nothing left for our competitors, and wrests control once and for all from small scale unreliable suppliers, (the commercial fishing industry) and unions. It places firm control within a centralized fishing authority (Aquafresh) that can guarantee, harvesting, processing and sale in one integrated facility. That’s right; we harvest, we can, and we out-ship in one move! It saves and it serves! With our Japanese partners it absolutely puts Science at the forefront with our ongoing Whale Research.

super dooper trawler 1

Loading of processed and pre-processed ‘product’ onto container ships for export. 

Asked about his shares and alleged conflict of interest in the Coles/Woolworth’s merged, ‘Aquafresh’, co owners of the boat, he said; ‘So what’s wrong with a Minister taking an interest in the market, it’s a tick from me and that’s a great big tick for consumer confidence’. ‘Why wouldn’t I invest. This Trawler employs upwards of twelve people. That’s jobs for working families. It puts growth back into the economy. There’s plenty more fish in the sea, and by hook or by crook we’ll make it profitable, Asked ‘why’? by a Fairfax reporter; ‘Because, Australia is open for business’. Who could disagree?

Poetry Sunday 28 June 2015

Surprised by Joy

By William Wordsworth 1770–1850 William Wordsworth

Surprised by joy—impatient as the Wind 
I turned to share the transport—Oh! with whom 
But Thee, long buried in the silent Tomb, 
That spot which no vicissitude can find? 
Love, faithful love, recalled thee to my mind— 
But how could I forget thee?—Through what power, 
Even for the least division of an hour, 
Have I been so beguiled as to be blind 
To my most grievous loss!—That thought’s return 
Was the worst pang that sorrow ever bore, 
Save one, one only, when I stood forlorn, 
Knowing my heart’s best treasure was no more; 
That neither present time, nor years unborn 
Could to my sight that heavenly face restore.
Notes by Ira Maine, Poetry Editor

William Wordsworth’s poem, ‘Surprised by joy’ has no title. The words quoted are part of the first line of his heartbreaking poem written after the death of Catherine, he and his wife Mary’s fourth child in June 1812.  Catherine was just under four years old. It is widely believed nowadays that Catherine had Down’s Syndrome. This condition wasn’t so well recognized at the beginning of the 19th century and, for a long time, because the child was lame, it was believed that polio was to blame. One way or the other the Wordsworths loved their child without reservation. Mary conceded that though the child was no beauty, she was possessed of a sparklingly endearing and lovable  personality. Wordsworth referred to her as his ‘Chinese princess’ which seems to suggest the ‘Asian’ eye configuration which led  the medical profession to  describe the condition  as ‘Mongoloid’.

Whatever the truth of it, nothing gave Wordsworth more pleasure and joy than to have the child playing about under his feet as he worked, or to have her accompany him on his walks.

The poem opens with a joyful ‘…surprised by joy…’ Wordsworth turning excitedly to young Catherine to share his exhultation. For a split second the child is alive. Then the empty, sickening realisation that the child has been dead, ‘deep buried in the silent tomb…’ for days.

Addressing his dead daughter, the poet berates himself for forgetting, even for ‘… the least division of an hour…’ his ‘… most grievous loss…’ But, he says ‘…love, faithful love recalled thee to my mind…’ and that recall ‘…was the worst pang sorrow ever bore…’ because, he says, in this way he has had to lose her not once but twice.

Love, he reminds her, love of his own child and his desperate need to have her back with him caused his mind to recreate her, whole and alive, here beside him.

But the worst of it was, he tells her, ‘…when I stood forlorn, [at her bedside or her still open grave?] knowing my heart’s best treasure was no more;…’

And that nothing, either ‘…present time…’ nor the years ahead, could restore Catherine’s ‘…heavenly face…’ to his sight.

There’s nothing more to say about this poem.  Any man, on the loss of a child, might wish  to express himself as well as  Wordsworth does here. Because we cannot, I for one thank Heaven we have somebody to say it for us.

I have found the foregoing difficult to write without sounding mawkish or sentimental. I am very lucky to have the best poets in the language to keep me on the straight and narrow  and it must always be remembered that, should ill-written or ill- considered ideas appear in these pages, the fault is always mine and never that of  the poet.

MDFF 27 June 2015

Kamarad Bon aswè, mwen ta renmen pale sou libète ak jistis
(Google Translate Haitian Creole)

Not long ago two teenagers escaped from the Don Dale Juvenile Detention Centre in Darwin (The former Berrimah Gaol). Ninety seven percent of Juveniles in detention in the NT are Aboriginal, so it is fair to assume that the two teenagers in question are Aboriginal. The stereotype has become the reality. The youths’ subsequent stealing of a car and spectacular break in to the detention centre whilst performing “burnouts” before handing themselves in, received much publicity. That they may belong to the 3% non Indigenous population of Don Dale was not given any consideration whatsoever. Neither did it occur to me.

So let’s examine the likely past and future life experiences of the joy riding escapees. As tiny babies they may have been traumatised as their abode was raided by police disguised as Ninjas in the middle of the night. They may have been removed by Welfare (how is that for a euphemism!) when their father was locked up and their mother was reported as not looking after them well enough. At school they might have been taught in a language not their own or been bullied and looked down on by other better off kids. They would have spend much of their childhood and teenage years being shadowed by the increasingly numerous constabulary. They might have got increasingly angry and frustrated and might have joined a gang of rock throwing windscreen busting youth in Alice Springs. They might have eventually got caught and sentenced to Juvenile Detention.

When they get out, they would follow the sage advice of our political leaders (such as “if you get a well paid job you could afford to buy your first home even at the prices inflated by overseas investors” and other such pearls of wisdom). Not bloody likely! The Alice Springs shop owner is not likely to offer the two teenagers a job (even if they asked for it, which they probably wouldn’t). The shop owner’s cousin’s windscreen became the target of a well aimed rock only a couple of weeks ago. There is a chance that the rock thrower is a cousin of the released teenagers. Sooner or later a member of the numerous constabulary will catch the youths doing something illegal. The magistrate will frown at the no longer Juvenile delinquents and lock them up for a long time. This cycle will repeat itself ad nauseam.

So why did the two teenagers give all of us who are not enamoured with those legally sanctioned bullies a Schadenfreude thrill?   Have another look at the video on the ABC news report (link above). Why did they re-enter the facility in a stolen car by ramming the front roller doors?  A weird sense of humour I have, I  think it’s hilarious.  Mind you, I do spare a thought for the owners of the car, and hope they were insured.

So why did they do it? They had nothing to lose!

Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose:

So I checked out the NT Police Facebook site. It has more than 50,000 “likes”. Many self congratulatory “incidents” and opinion… “Police were present at the Football Match and Police Commissioner Plod praised the behaviour of the crowd” “Police apprehended half a dozen youths found loitering” followed by such intellectually stimulating comments from the peanut gallery as “I hope they don’t get bail”. The 34 gram dope raid at Yuendumu has been removed from the site, as have negative comments. No way of telling how many “dislikes” the site has engendered.

From the NT Police Facebook site:

“Police conducted a search of the vehicle and located a small quantity of cannabis and drug paraphernalia”.“A 22-year-old female passenger was issued a notice to appear for possess a dangerous drug (cannabis) and possess implement to administer.”

This was kindly translated (“for those who don’t speak cop”) in a comment as “She had some weed and a bong”

Regular readers of these Dispatches (i.e. those that don’t press ‘Shift/delete’) will be aware of my obsession with languages. On reading the above comment I realized that I haven’t used ‘Cop’ language in a Dispatch. I expect Google Translate to in due course add ‘Cop’ to its extensive list of languages.

A friend once regaled me with some instances of Cop-speak that he had gathered, like one might gather wildflowers:

A Policeman in court uttered “ Members rushed into the bedroom and shot the deceased who was alive at the time”

This friend shares my weird sense of humor and will undoubtedly savour the joyride. He will probably also spare a thought for the owners of the car.

To provide some illuminating examples of Cop-speak all I need do is quote Darwin’s Commander Murphy (plagiarized from the ABC News report):

“During the escape they caused significant damage inside the complex and we will allege they stole a motor vehicle after breaching the perimeter,” (They broke things whilst escaping, and then stole a car)

“This led to a police pursuit that involved a number of resources,” (They got chased by the cops).

“They basically drove around inside the complex closely monitored by police,” (The cops watched them do wheelies).

“They weren’t really listening to our request,” Commander Murphy said. “At every opportunity we gave them a clear dynamic command to surrender.” (We yelled at them to stop, but they took no notice)

Commander Murphy said the incident was resolved when a “surrender was successfully negotiated with the two youths”. (They gave up. It was all over).

I suspect that there is such as Murphy’s Law of Semantics.

Li pral enteresan yo tande kreyòl ayisyen lapolis-pale

Tout pi bon an



A visionary Correctional Facility for the NT

A special report by Quentin Cockburn

It is with boundless enthusiasm we announce a bold new direction in the management of criminal justice specifically geared to tackle the horrendous, escalating rise of lawlessness, marriage breakdown, obscenity, child abuse, drunkenness, drug abuse, gross depravity and fine evasion by members of the indigenous community in the Northern Territory.

In a first for public private partnerships Serco and Transfield, providers of correctional and humanitarian (immigration detention) services, and the Northern Territory Minister for Tourism, under the acclaimed ‘Stronger Futures’ program, unveiled the new ‘CONISTON’ Super Prison.

‘It’s an innovative worlds first!’ The CEO of Transfield, Mr Renton Seeker proclaimed, “At last the twin synergies of tourism and incarceration can be merged into a super facility.  It recognises worlds best standards in providing correctional services, and profits made by this growth industry are fed back into developing high end accommodation for overseas visitors.

Section of main administrative hub.  Comparative sizes, Ayers Rock, Bulk ore Carrier,   140,000 Tons.

Section of main administrative hub. Comparative sizes, Ayers Rock, Bulk ore Carrier, 230,000 Tons.

Ultimately we will have a man made structure on a scale and physical presence to compete with ULURU!  This Super Prison brings together ancillary strengths, and enables us to provide a one stop hub, an employment growth centre to cater to our expanding needs.’
The Minister for NT Tourism Mr Bill (William) Plunder was effusive, ‘The Norther Territory is a big place and the infrastructure costs of prison construction and police station upgrades was placing immense strain on our budget.

Interior, indicating tiered processing for offenders, note, central slide to fast track offenders from top level to basement, and robot warders.

Interior, indicating tiered processing for offenders, note, central slide to fast track offenders from top level to basement, and robot warders.

We had a ballooning criminal justice costs, and booming tourism numbers.  There was something missing in the equation, until our bean counters suggested the merge.  With the merge we’ve combined our strengths, dispensed with remote community correctional facilities altogether, and provided reliable employment for those employed in the tourism industry.

Minister Plunder continued, ‘This inspiration for this building comes from both indigenous and Australian belief systems.  The main administrative block facility, ‘The Bradman’, is 452 metres long, (that’s the Dons highest test score).  The building is almost as large as ULURU itself!  We wanted to make a bold statement in keeping with the spirit of Stronger Futures.  The layout is signifiant for indigenous Australians.  It’s the entrapment of the water serpent, surrounded by very large rocks.  This design was developed in consultation with leaders of the GEM’s, (General Economic Manager. Unelected bureaucrat responsible for managing remote communities.) administrative communities, with some input from an indigenous artist’.

Asked to explain the internal working of the building, the CEO of Serco, (Mr. Bashem  Quickly) beamed, with pride.  ‘It’s clearly a world first.  This structure, can be seen from the moon.  In practical terms it’s a Benthamite prison, but most importantly, it puts and end to fly in fly out and the vagaries of the tourist market.  All the employees are multi skilled, and can now offer sunset tours of the rock and conduct night-time tours of the facility.  The feeding time tour is proving immensely popular.  The tourists love it.  It’s made the territory SAFE.’

Artists perspective of “The Coniston Facility”, indicating, educational programme, “ marching’, and proximity to Ayers Rock, (Uluru). Note attractive mural on building facade inspired by aboriginal dreaming and input from some local artists.  Searchlight atop main administrative tower  radar guided to locate absconders.

Artists perspective of “The Coniston Facility”, indicating, educational programme, “ marching’, and proximity to Ayers Rock, (Uluru). Note attractive mural on building facade inspired by aboriginal dreaming and input from some local artists. Searchlight atop main administrative tower radar guided to locate absconders.

EntryThe Freedom Commissioner Mr Tim Wilson was on hand to celebrate the architecture and commend the “superb sculptural arches and their positive message ‘Work to Freedom, Strength through Joy and Work to Prosperity’.  We want to instill a sense of the work ethic and let them know that by hard work they can attain the highest standards of living’. Its a win win for communities and will establish growth and employment into the future’.

The Commissioner, ebullient in his belief that the building will encourage excellence enthused; ‘This complex is divided into even spokes round a central administrative hub. The hub designated ‘the white tower’, represents authority and the responsibilities of management.  The seven spokes, each named after a local indigenous tribe, comprise a three level building. The upper tier for truant children, jay walkers, fare evaders.  The second from most offenders, DWB (Most common traffic offence in the Territory. ‘Driving whilst black’), and the like, and the lower tier for serious cases, murderers and domestic violence and some more prominent Aussie Rules footy players.  Because of the vast distances required for our Correctional teams to track down fare and fine evaders, we have constructed within the building a central helipad, and aerodrome. We can receive, process and despatch in fifteen minutes.  We don’t require duplification of criminal justice systems, this does it all’.

Robots Mk V

Robots Mk V

The day to day running of the centre is managed by robots*, and the principle aim of the facility, is to re-educate and re-integrate offenders into the community.  ‘Education? Yes, we teach marching. Yes indeed marching is very important, teaches them discipline, precision and punctuality. It will make ‘them’ better citizens’.

Asked about the process of justice, the CEO replied, ‘That hasn’t changed.  The cost of maintaining a Magistrate on site was deemed prohibitive, so we operate a fly in fly out roster for magistrates.  They conduct trials on a monthly basis’.

The CEO angrily reacted to a question from a Fairfax reporter suggesting the rise of an Industrial/Correctional complex, ‘Of course it saves the taxpayer because it brings in efficiencies of scale and reduces crime.‘   Asked about escalating recidivism rates the minister responded, ‘What do you expect?, the conditions are so good why wouldn’t they want to come back’?

*  MkV correctional robot, fully automated with built in taser, capsicum, pistol, sub machine gun, handcuffs.  After processing it was recognised that full automation was substantially cheaper, and made no difference as staff are not required to speak “local dialect’ and basic speech function, “affirmative and negative” was consistent with total quality management principles.

The Hunter-Gatherer Development of the “Hunter Gatherer’ a fully automated processing and collections device for fine evaders. Note; coal powered (courtesy the Minerals and Energy Council). Note magnetic unroadworthy car gatherer and control capsule.  Also mineral sampler to provide on stream analysis of recently vacated land. Coal residue and fare invaders processed in the “bag” attached to main collections duct.

The Hunter-Gatherer, a fully automated processing and collections device for fine evaders. Note; coal powered (courtesy the Minerals and Energy Council). Note magnetic unroadworthy car gatherer and control capsule. Also mineral sampler to provide on stream analysis of recently vacated land. Coal residue and fare invaders processed in the “bag” attached to main collections duct.


MDFF 20 June 2015

This dispatch was first released on 20 June 2012

All stand! 

Last Thursday was an important day on the Yuendumu calendar.

A plane load of bureaucrats arrived to launch a ‘Closing the Gap’-Federal Government initiative: the $1.5 billion Remote Jobs and Communities Program with its inevitable acronym ‘RJCP’. Free lunch and a barbeque were provided under the ‘Telstra Dome’ like roofed basketball Court. Invitation posters had been put up (see attachment below) inviting the Yuendumu citizenry to an ‘Information and Consultation session’

Do you recall that famous 1970 “Suppose They Gave A War and Nobody Came” poster?

Three locals attended the ‘I&CS’, all because it fell within their job sphere to do so.  (Must confess- couldn’t resist and made this acronym up myself)

Meanwhile at another Yuendumu Court, 35 criminal cases were being heard.

Whilst these important events were taking place two police vehicles in tandem were prowling the streets of Yuendumu.  They were hunting. They were revenue hunting that is. I did not ask the police how their hunting was going but know they caught at least one person who went to pick up someone at our airstrip and got done $420 for not wearing a seat belt and another $70 for not having his driver’s license on him (that he subsequently found in his pocket- too late!). Total $490, only $10 short of a fine a contractor received for placing a portable toilet on a sacred site near the top-end community of Numbulwar, after gaining an Intervention contract in 2007.

That evening many of us drove to Yuelamu (Mt. Allan) 35 Km east of here on the ‘back-road’. The language spoken at Yuelamu is Anmatyerre; most Yuelamu residents also speak Warlpiri which is as different to their language as Polish is to French. A screening of ‘Coniston’ was held at the Yuelamu Basketball Court which had been opened the previous day.

The murder of Fred Brooks in 1928 took place at Yurrkuru 55Km north east of Yuendumu. This triggered the so called Coniston Massacre in which during a series of punitive raids probably more than a hundred Aborigines were indiscriminately killed. A subsequent inquiry found the killing of ‘blacks’ to be ‘justified’. Over the years much has been written and filmed on the Coniston Massacre, but what makes this movie refreshingly different is that the story is told from a Yapa (Aboriginal) perspective.

The virtual absence of rancour and animosity could be a lesson to peace makers everywhere.

There is an old ‘joke’, I think originally from the Pacific: “We had the land and the missionaries had the Bible, then they came and now they have the land and we have the Bible”

In the film it was gently stated “Our land is no longer ours, it now belongs to the Pastoralists and the Miners. We never got justice” without anger or blame.

¿Que te ha pasado Justicia? (Justice what has happened to you?)

No justice and no Respect….

Just as I was starting to despair for the fate of Warlpiridom under the sustained assimilationist multipronged attack, along comes this film showcasing Yapa strength and humour. Any society that  can experience deep sorrow yet so heartily laugh at the oppressors and themselves, has a future. I’m not talking the Federal Government’s euphemistic Stronger Futures either.

The day following this eventful day the funeral of a teenage boy was held. If I die young… funny when you’re dead people start listenin…

The teenager was a good friend of a grandson of mine and my wife remembers him singing Warlpiri songs at Yuendumu school with enthusiasm and joy. That is the kind of place Yuendumu is, everyone has many relatives and many friends.

Yuendumu’s Baptist church was filled to capacity and many had to sit outside.

A long procession of immaculately dressed (white shirts and black trousers,skirts and shorts) men women and children followed by several motor cars walked to the church. The women were wailing and ‘sweeping’ with branches as they walked.

It was very moving to watch and a never in Yuendumu before seen event.

Two days later the teenage boy’s grandmother’s funeral took place, again a large procession. Again many beautifully dressed healthy well behaved children.

Funerals are just about the last thing that haven’t been taken over by kardiya. Yapa own their funerals. Yapa don’t own much else.

After the church service the crowd drove out to the grave site near where other family members lay buried. Yapa have the right to choose where to bury their relatives, at the Yuendumu Cemetery or out bush on their land. This right is one of few rights remaining to Yapa. I probably shouldn’t write this as I’m sure there are assimilationists that would not tolerate this if they knew of it.

The way funerals, of which there are way too many, are done in Yuendumu has undergone dramatic changes over the years. I won’t elaborate. Suffice it to repeat this quote:

“Cultural survival is not about preservation, sequestering indigenous peoples in enclaves like some sort of zoological specimens. Change itself does not destroy a culture. All societies are constantly evolving. Indeed a culture survives when it has enough confidence in its past and enough say in its future to maintain its spirit and essence through all the changes it will inevitably undergo. ”
―  Wade Davis, The Wayfinders

Any day now, any day now I shall be released….

You are free to go,

Jobs and Stronger Communities

Exciting Future for Australian Retail

By Quentin Cockburn

A Bold New Future for Australian Retail Industries

In a stunning development that puts new life into the Australian Retail Industry the merger between Big W and Hancock Industries offers a world first in which one stop shopping is integrated with our proven expertise in mining.

Mr Richard, (Dick) Whitless, CEO of Big W and the CEO of Hancock mining Gina Rinehardt presided at the official opening.  The new enterprise, a merger between the two giants as BIGCOCK was unveiled today with the P.M in attendance.

The P.M was profuse in his praise: ‘with a wider, broader free trade deal with China, we have no need to bother with spares, repairs and local input. All the profits are fed back into the shareholders and the major manufactures in China. What we buy, they buy again in Real Estate. It’s truly a win win situation!’

Big Cock Superstore Artists Perspective

Big Cock Superstore Artists Perspective



Panoramic Perspective indicating Super Store, Waste Transfer Station, Recycling Conveyor and Turbine Plant. Note Freeway Interchange, and adjacent housing estates.

The building, a mere ten kilometres in area, boasting 24 hr service and a massive 25 km sq km carpark is; ‘a challenge to the notion that the Great Wall of China was the only man made structure visible from the moon’. Ms. Rinehardt interjected ‘Ours is bigger!  This is an emphatic first, not only have we cornered the market on retail, but we’e jumped the gun on recycling, with our Big-Cock landfill, 10sqkm pit, it’s bigger than Mt Tom Price’.

Mr Whitless, outlined the business plan ‘We have a worlds first for international recycling, With our new ‘Crapito’ range of electrical tools the consumer is encouraged to purchase and bring their odd jobs into the centre. A special trailer park caters to these needs. Once purchased the vertical integration of manufactured and recycled comes fully into play. After purchase and within the one day warranty the product is returned, placed upon the conveyor and fed into the recycling plant. We atomize the components, sourcing re-usable for just plastic and the residue is fed into our incinerator. What can’t be recycled is then put into our landfill, which is constantly moving to cater for the wave of last years plasma screens and household improvement objects.  Whereas, most stuff purchased at our competitors, (Bunnings et al) ended up at landfill after five to ten years, now we can do the same process in days’.

Big Cock Superstore Interior

Big Cock Superstore Interior

Just one small section of the Superstore, Illustration depicts conveyor and vehicles at work ferrying customers between containerised stacks,. This section contains just one cache of popular Household cleaning products.

‘Since the popularity of ‘The Block’ and plethora of other home renovation shows, we’re getting particularly strong demand, and I can tell you it’s hard keeping pace with the supply of house residue flooding in from the inner ring suburbs. Where once we used to cater for a renovation every decade it has shrunk to months, and then weeks. In some suburbs we’re getting a renovation green light, before the last renovation has finished’.

‘I’m terribly impressed with the scale of this, to integrate retail with waste development facility just makes good business sense’, The President of the Australian Chamber of Commerce, Mr Knobby Pullen was profuse in his commentary. ‘At last we can point to real gains in productivity and efficiency. This not only employs Australians in innovative and up to date retail, it ensures that another generation of Australians realise their true potential as Waste Oriented.  There’s skill and technologies in waste management we need to harness, and ensure that productivity gains are sped across the entire sector.

Ms Hancock, was interviewed to give her thoughts, ‘a first for workplace enterprise bargaining, we have ensured that those trained at this facility will be equipped to work anywhere at similar facilities throughout Australia.  On a generous enterprise wage of five dollars an hour, only 50% will be deducted over the first decade in repayments for the training and supervision provided by elite private training organisations. ‘It’s way way more generous than workers get paid in Africa’.  Described as ‘Indentured slavery’ by the Federated Shop Workers Union, the Magnate scoffed, ‘Indentured, they’ve got a job for life! That’s security you can bank on! What’s good for the investor is good for the employee’.

The PM affirmed, ‘With this integrated plant we can proudly put paid to the notion of Australia being just a suppository, (insert repository) for service industries’.

‘If only other industries could become net importers we shall become world leaders, and I anticipate with the release of the discussion paper prepared by Ziggy Switkowski, A.M. that Australia’s role as an international recycling depot will be assured with the development of the Central Nuclear Waste Depot.  The Integrated facility in conjunction with the Minerals and Energy Council is to be known as the Central Uranium Net Transfer Facility And Coal Enterprise.

Big Cock Superstore Entry Feature

Big Cock Superstore Entry Feature

Just one of the several entry feature pillars. Each at forty storeys high utilises the equivalent of five MCG Light Towers for Night illumination. Can also be seen from the moon. The Central Uranium Net Transfer Facility And Coal Enterprise is in the background.

‘This Nuclear Waste Depot will value add the splendid work undertaken by the British and American governments in Maralinga and Woomera, and unite their strengths into a singular Nuclear Waste Facility.

‘Whats good for Australia is also good for humanity’!

We can only heartily agree.


Big Cock Superstore Artists Perspective

Panoramic Perspective indicating Super Store, Waste Transfer Station, Recycling Conveyor and Turbine Plant. Note Freeway Interchange, and adjacent housing estates.

Big Cock Superstore Entry Feature

Just one of the several entry feature pillars. Each at forty storeys high utilises the equivalent of five MCG Light Towers for Night illumination. Can also be seen from the moon.

Big Cock Superstore Interior

Just one small section of the Superstore, Illustration depicts conveyor and vehicles at work ferrying customers between containerised stacks,. This section contains just one cache of popular Household cleaning products.

Man as Machine – the rise of the Methodists (2)

by Tarquin O’Flaherty continuing on from yesterday

The lower stratas of society, torn from a centuries old, unchanging and (to them) acceptable way of life, sought refuge in the irrational.  They went looking for Messiahs.  They began to believe, as I have said, that the return of the Lord was imminent and that the promised Utopia was at hand.  Little did they suspect how great a force would be ranged against their aspirations in the years to come.  In the meantime, religious lunatics were having a field day.

The spiritual attitude being demonstrated by these poor, uprooted people did not happen spontaneously.  It was a direct result of the massive spiritual revival that took place in England in the 18th century.

Hogarth’s famous drawing from this period entitled ‘Gin Lane’ is closer to reality than one can imagine.  It was generally held that early 18th century England was one vast casino, well lubricated with gin.  Thomas Carlyle, (1795-1881) the Scottish writer and polemicist, described England as being ‘…physically alive, but with a dead soul…’  A land, in fact, absolutely and dangerously wide open to the guilt peddling machinations of dog-collared Bible bashers, craw-thumpers and pulpit-pounders, who had the ear of God and knew what he wanted.

Without going into too great a detail, English 18th century intellectuals believed in Deism, a philosophical product of the Enlightenment, which rejected revelation and organized religion in favour of reason and observation.  They still believed in God, but also believed that God did not interfere with the natural world.

This attitude did not suit George Whitefield (or Whitfield) (1714-1770) an ordained Anglican priest, who had attended Oxford with John Wesley and his brother, James.  Together they believed that doctrine, liberally sprinkled with Calvinism, was everything and that Deism was, to all intents and purposes, heretical.  Ignoring the Established Church, which catered only to the Establishment, yet working from within it, Whitefield and Wesley preached to previously ignored groups, like miners and factory workers, farm hands and labourers who, not surprisingly, reacted positively to this new and welcome attention by gathering in increasingly large numbers at Whitefield’s outdoor revival meetings.

In 1738 Whitefield, the acknowledged founder of Methodism, attracted by the possibilities in the New World, at the age of 24, became a parish priest in Savannah, Georgia.  He met with such success in the US with his preaching that his time there is referred to as ‘The Great Awakening’.  Snowed under, he returned to England in 1740 and, with no time to continue his English work, and at odds with Wesley’s beliefs, he passed over his entire English ministry to Wesley and returned to the New World.

Simply put, early Whitefield Methodism was essentially Evangelical, with concern for the downtrodden, the halt and the lame as its principal reason for existence.  When Wesley took over the English ministry, he, like Whitefield, attracted thousands of people to his outdoor gatherings.  Good works continued at full speed but the emphasis markedly changed.  Wesley was a political Tory and his Toryism put him endlessly at odds with his followers.  Quite a number of 18th century religious movements in England may be traced directly to people who had fallen out with Wesley.  Perhaps this is why Cobbett speaks of Methodists (or at least of Wesley’s Methodists) in such disparaging terms.  The idea that the peasantry should put up with their suffering because they would ‘…get their reward in Heaven…’, obviously struck Cobbett as hypocritical nonsense specifically designed to keep the lower orders in their place and to show that Wesley’s Methodists were not only on the side of the angels but that of the  aristocracy as well.

Interestingly, out of  Whitefield’s Evangelicalism came the belief that society had not only a responsibility towards the poor, but indeed a duty.  This idea of one’s duty towards society is nowadays long out of fashion, but in the 18th and 19th century the very notion of duty was uppermost in many minds to the point (and with such effect) that many long established  inhuman ideas and practices were turned entirely on their heads.

William Wilberforce, (1759-1833) a lifelong reformer and a convinced Evangelical Christian, became the absolute power behind the drive in England to abolish slavery, and was greatly encouraged by Whitefield’s support and encouragement. Wilberforce died in 1833, two days after the Abolition of Slavery Act was passed, which abolished slavery throughout the British Empire.

The other remarkable product of Whitefield’s ‘gentle Calvinism’, and there were many, was Anthony Ashley Cooper, (1801-1885)  Lord Shaftesbury, nephew to the Duke of Marlborough, who did remarkable things for both sane people, and lunatics. We shall hear more of Cooper presently.

Man as Machine – the rise of the Methodists (1)

Tarquin O’Flaherty continues his series by looking at the relationship between church state and power

An extraordinary thing happened in England in the wake of the Enclosures; the common people began to believe in miracles.  They began to believe that in a very short time, all inequity would be swept away, to be quickly replaced by some sort of grand Utopian perfection.  Up to a point, some of this belief was justified.  Robert Owen’s New Lanark experiments had clearly shown that factories could be managed profitably without exploiting the workforce.  Societies, guilds and groups representing the workers had begun to form and to exercise some form of influence over employers.  There was constant agitation, with great support from the employer class for the right to vote.  The peasantry seriously came to believe that this force was now unstoppable and that it was only a matter of time before employers became aware of this too.  And now, with the Reform Bill of 1832 granting the vote to the new middle class, the stage was set and the door open for the expected Utopia to sweep in.

This was all very Biblical, an unstoppable steamrolling force which was about to change the world forever.  The peasant ear was attuned precisely to this idea, having been educated for a century in the idea of God, the Second Coming and the notion of the meek inheriting the earth.  How could they fail?  Robert Owen himself had said the millenium is upon us.  All we’ve got to do is wait.  The overworked, the exploited, the downtrodden desperately needed to believe in something.  Effectively abandoned by both the Church of England, which saw itself as an a private club for the privileged upper-class, and equally by William Cobbett’s ‘…nasty, canting, dirty, lousy Methodists…’ who thought that fighting to overthrow an established system was ‘…infidel and irreligious…’ the working classes looked elsewhere for deliverance from hardship.

Robert Owen, a good and honourable man, nevertheless upset a lot of important people with his radical views.  Observing his own workforce and how well they reacted to being treated in a civilized manner, he came to the conclusion that the vast percentage of ‘bad’ people were only bad because they had been treated badly.  Treat them well and the better side of their nature is encouraged.  This was diametrically opposed to the commonly held view amongst people with money that the lower orders were there to be distrusted, exploited, used and discarded.

Owen’s belief was formed through observation.  He believed that a man’s character is formed for him by the hardship he is forced to endure.  If economic conditions deny him the means to feed his family, then even the very best of men might steal.  The Church on the other hand believed that man’s character is formed by him and nothing will change that.  Owen’s view, despite the evidence to support it, was seen by the Nonconformist Church as denying the idea of original sin and therefore profoundly un-Christian.

Poetry Sunday 14 June 2015

Another poem from Andy White

judy collins’ cats

like monochrome clouds or
mini sheep
judy collins’ cats move quietly

fluffy pillows
crossing carpeted floor


one black
one grey and
one white

clouds on an afghan sky
scurrying amongst the art

there’s a gap on the wall
where the rothko
used to be

signed photos of
judy and bill
judy and kennedys
judy and louis

wards jostle for space on
shelves and
above the moving fluffy pillows


judy’s monochrome cats
are hungry
expecting rain

on this otherwise
new york city day

Andy White Stolen Moments 2010

MDFF 13 June 2015

This Dispatch was first published 10 June 2015

Dzień dobry moi przyjaciele,

In the film ‘Bundera Boys’ the late actor Maurie Fields plays a guard. He has occassion to say “Good on ya” to two old Jewish prisoners. “Godonya? Godonya? What is Godonya?” “I think it’s in Poland” is the reply.  “godonya ! godonya ! vos iz godonya ? ikh trakhtn es iz in foyln !”

Yuendumu’s $7.6M Police Complex is nearing completion. ‘Making Communities Safer’ will soon come to fruition. We can’t wait for the grand opening! Godonya!

Before last Christmas there was a hunting party roaming the streets of Yuendumu. A pair of Policemen from Alice Springs were hunting for unregistered vehicles, unlicensed drivers and unworn seatbelts. Am told their sortie was quite successful and netted $9,000 in fines. At an average speed of 25Km per hour, un-registrable vehicles in Yuendumu are not quite sitting ducks, more like crawling ducks. I’m glad the community has been made safer by punishing the criminals that have persisted in imperilling our lives. Godonya!

Last week a group of women who were in “sorry camp” (bereaving the death of a Yuendumu man) witnessed some serious activity emanating from the new Police Complex across the road.

From around midnight to the next day, police were taking part in a hunting expedition. They were hunting for people with outstanding warrants. Am told they made a number of arrests.

In one instance eight members of the constabulary surrounded a residence and caught an alleged criminal, waking several children in the process. It was 5:30a.m. The alleged criminal was quite angry and told me that “someone” had informed the Police of his whereabouts. The possibility of a generation of children growing up hating the Police, and community conflict resulting from the suspicion that “someone” had dobbed “someone” in, and the resultant damage to the Social Fabric of Yuendumu, is a small price to pay for us being made safer by these night time raids. Godonya! Most of these warrants are for such heinous crimes as “failing to appear in court”. Calendars are not exactly ubiquitous in Yuendumu and awareness of dates not exactly Yuendumu Society’s forte! All the same the Law is the Law and has to be enforced. We all feel much safer now that those court skipping criminals are pursued. Godonya!

A few days ago four police vehicles with two sniffer dogs were roaming the streets of Yuendumu. They were hunting for drugs. On the NT Police Facebook page I learn that the search netted 34 gram of cannabis, $A420 cash and a bottle of Rum. A 24 year old man has been charged with supply of cannabis, possess tainted property and possession of alcohol in a restricted area. I’m glad the community has been made safer. Godonya! Yet another “¿Que?” moment. “…tainted property…?” What? Like Pilbara Iron Ore Deposits? Like Pastoral Leases?

Incidentally the dope detecting dog is called Wilson. Wilson is a common Yuendumu family name. It was a Wilson that a year ago put on his Facebook page “Have again been pulled over by the Police for DWB” (Driving Whilst Black)

We’ve been notified that at the next Sports Weekend there will be more police. I’m over the moon. Godonya! NT Police’s motto:  Keeping People Safe 

I’m prompted to repeat a Ghandi quote:
“ They do not know, that a subtle but effective system of terrorism, together with an organized display of force on the one hand, and the deprivation of all powers of retaliation or self-defence on the other, has emasculated the people and induced in them the habit of simulation.”

Must read Uncle Tom’s Cabin again. The habit of simulation indeed. I expect a plethora of Uncle Toms and Auntie Thomasinas at the grand opening of the Police Complex, especially if they hold a sausage sizzle.

They shall all declare how much safer they now feel, and how grateful they are that the Government saw fit to provide such generous funding. Ghandi furthermore said: “This awful habit has added to the ignorance and self deception of the administrators”

I’m old enough to have grown up with the stereotype of the unarmed Bobby that helps old ladies across the road. In my childhood town in Argentina two unarmed police on bicycles used to patrol at night. Every few minutes they would blow a whistle on opposite sides of the town, to let each other know all was well. They were whistleblowers. Not unlike the town criers of the previous century.

Half a century ago I remember reading a Time Magazine devoted to crime and policing. What stuck in my mind was that studies had clearly shown that there was a very strong correlation with increased rates of violence in society and the overt display of weapons and force by authorities.

What would Time Magazine back then have made of today’s black Ninja Police uniforms, and the Swiss Army Knife belts (complete with hand-cuffs, gun, taser, capsicum spray and nail clippers)? Am I wrong in thinking that members of the constabulary watch too much television?

I’m also old enough to remember watching policemen (there were very few policewomen back then) two finger typing on a loud typewriter at the local Police Station. Computers and silent  keyboards are now de rigueur. All the same the Attorney General of the Northern Territory has recently justified the introduction of ‘Paper-less Arrest’ powers. The NT’s latest Death in Custody was such a ‘paperless arrest’. The Attorney General asserted that relieving NT Police of the burden of paperwork would free them up to do more Police work. Godonya! No surprises if I told you the NT’s Attorney General is an ex-Policeman, and a tough one at that. Godonya!

Am I wrong in thinking that Terrorism, Violent Crime, Suicides, Drug use, Child abuse, domestic violence, high incarceration rates, dysfunction in society etc. are exacerbated and become self fulfilling prophesies by an inordinate obsessive focus by outsiders that think they know better and view all of this through an ethnocentric double standard lens ?

There are good news stories I could tell you about Yuendumu, but I fear that those that are complicit in the ethnocidal attack being visited upon remote Aboriginal communities may only perceive these as yet more that needs to be changed, if Aborigines are to move ahead into the glorious mainstream.

The previous dispatch quoted African American writer Toni Morrison “Black people have chosen, or been forced to seek, safety from the whiteman’s promise.”

In ‘Living for the City’ Stevie Wonder encapsulates this promise. The promise of assimilation.

Countering the negative stereotypes can be counterproductive. Such lies and ignorance shouldn’t be given oxygen.

Napoleon is alleged to have said this : “Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence”. He would have said it in French: “Ne jamais attribuer à la malice de ce qui est bien expliqué par l’incompétence”. In a Corsican accent.

I’m not so sure about that. It seems more like a compounding of malice and incompetence driven by ignorance that we are witnessing. And it is spreading, like weeds.

Dopóki znów się spotkamy


And this song dedicated to those understaffed underfunded hard working unsung heroes that work for Aboriginal Legal Aid Services:

…so deep in trouble the white folks couldn’t get him free…

Christmas Morning Blues – Victoria Spivey

I woke up christmas morning went out to get my morning’s mail
A letter sent from georgia the postmark said atlanta jail
In a mean old jailhouse ’cause he broke them georgia laws
My man’s so deep in trouble the white folks couldn’t get him free
He stole a hog the charge was murder in the first degree……