Leaves 

ਚੰਗਾ ਸਵੇਰੇ ਮੇਰੇ ਦੋਸਤ

I once heard a radio interview with Barry Humphries on his return to Australia from his long self-imposed exile. Had he noticed any difference? “Leaves” he replied. He reminisced on his childhood in the leafy suburbs of Melbourne, and how there no longer was the smell of burning leaves.

I was born in occupied Holland. My fully bilingual (Dutch/German) father, committed many acts of resistance both active and passive. One such passive act of defiance was to name me after FDR. In his retirement he had an almost perpetual little fire going in an incinerator in his back yard in leafy Nunawading. I guess his burning of leaves was his version of Amnesty’s flickering candle. I can’t recall his little smoking fire being extinguished on total fire ban days. An act of passive resistance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CZBNwMy578  Elton John, Candle in the Wind

When we were in Canada I became aware of Canadians becoming dewy eyed about “The Fall” (Autumn). During an all too brief period the leaves turn into brilliant colours and then fall onto the ground. Back then I regarded this emotional attachment to coloured leaves with ethnocentric derision.

Now, I think there is something poetic about a nation regarding coloured leaves with quasi-religious fervour. No Union Jack for Canadians. No Sir! A maple leaf on their national emblem. An act of passive resistance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pliihF6gkiI …. Passive Resistance…Graham Parker

Put the demographics away, the directors and consultants have the final say
Hired in, take home all the ones who missed for souvenirs, for their kids to play

Passive resistance! it’s all programmed by programmers
Passive resistance! you’re just a nail underneath their hammers
Passive resistance! and it breaks my heart to know there’s no heart in them

I have started reading Kieran Finnane’s book, “Trouble (On Trial in Central Australia)”

In the Introduction she describes the Alice Springs Courthouse. This from page 2:

“…Lately graffiti has appeared on the footpath in front of the entrance stairs, small letters stencilled in black: ‘This is the front line.’ It says. It’s discreet enough for nobody to bother scrubbing it out. I’d like to know who did it, and what kind of battle they think is going on inside…”

I’m only assuming that this graffiti may well allude to the same as I alluded to when I named these missives Musical Dispatches from the Front, the so called Frontier Wars.

These wars were never declared nor have they ceased, albeit they continue under such euphemistic labels as ‘Closing the Gap’ and ‘Stronger Futures’.

The Aboriginal Land Rights (Northern Territory) Act 1976 was meant to be some sort of ceasefire (“The Invasion stops here’), yet the assimilationist behemoth rolls on.

As Mahatma Ghandi said:

“ They do not know, that a subtle but effective system of terrorism, together with an organized display of force on the one hand, and the deprivation of all powers of retaliation or self-defence on the other, has emasculated the people and induced in them the habit of simulation ….”

In the chapter titled ‘Warlpiri versus the Queen’ Kieran Finnane astutely observed that when it came to ‘cultural matters’, without exception, Warlpiri witnesses refused to ‘play the game’.

Passive resistance in action, no fifth columnists to be seen. Warlpiri solidarity was solid.

As I’m typing this Dispatch, at the Yuendumu Health Clinic opposite, I hear a leaf-blower fire up. This is a punctual ritual which takes place five days a week with quasi religious fervour.

A non-Warlpiri person clears the paths around the clinic of fallen leaves. It isn’t rocket science.

The question arises: “Why isn’t an unemployed Warlpiri person given this task?” I myself ethnocentrically posed the same question.

When Warlpiri people are asked what do they want, they often reply “A job” (…and induced in them the habit of simulation…), which is what the questioner likes to hear.

Yet often when jobs become locally available, the organisation offering the job doesn’t exactly get run over in the rush.

Warlpiri intellectuals realize that self-determination is of far greater importance than menial white-fellow jobs.

As for the leaves at Yuendumu Clinic, the question which should be asked is: ‘Is it imperative that the leaves should be blown off the paths?’

I think I know the answer….
The answer my friend is blowing in the wind…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3l4nVByCL44

ਅਗਲੀ ਵਾਰ ਜਦ ਤੱਕ

Franklin Delano Baarda

Little people gather under the shadow of Ming

Good thing Malcolm is walking tall at the G20. Whilst he’s away the real leadership of the Liberal party have been hard at it. Working hard on repealing the discriminatory anti discrimination section 18c, and whist there at it, doing something seriously good about the vexed issue of Aboriginal Australia.

The former PM for Aboriginal Australia, Mr Tony Abbott, proclaimed; ‘We don’t need a Treaty’. The other former PM for Aboriginal Australia John Howard, elaborated; “ A treaty would be a disaster for Australia”.

John Howard; ” and besides what’s the point of a treaty when we’ve got such fabulously well healed donors to assist us in looking after our mutual interests’

Mr Howard enthused; What’s the point of having a treaty. We’re already Australians, and just because we dispossessed, plundered, raped, murdered and defiled their nation, culture and spirit doesn’t earn THEM the respect accorded by a treaty. Not only would it be a a flaming great disaster, but have you ever heard anything as silly as a nation having a treaty with itself? I ask you? It aint right. Just because a few malcontents in the Aboriginal first nation, (derisive sneer, and off side chuckle) can’t get over it, doesn’t mean we should give serious consideration. Besides they should be happy, the rate of incarceration has gone through the roof, and at this rate all of em will be processed by the criminal justice system. And that’s good economics. You look at it from any perspective, they get three square meals a day, telly, and a swimming pool. They never got that before 1788, and unlikely to see it by 2088 unless we give em a hand. They can’t help themselves so why should we dignify them with the respect of treaty. And besides though you cant have treaty within your nation we did invade em during the intervention and they didn’t have the courtesy to thank us. It’s pathetic ingratitude.

Why do we need a treaty? We’ve got their land, mineral wealth, and environment, kept intact for thousands of years, and we aint through with fucking it yet, though i’m impressed with our efforts so far. Treaty Schmeaty’!!

Alexander Downer; ‘If that’s how a little piss-pot state like East Timor responds to our even- handedness, then it aint nothing to what might happen if a treaty was signed with THEM’!

On hand to assist the deep thinkers within the Liberal Party was the former Foreign Minister who gave some succinct and dispassionate advice; ‘I’ve got to tell you blokes are all heart. There’s a couple of technical fundamentals associated with a treaty no one is gonna like. For a start, the bugging. We spent millions on training our operatives to pretend to be builders on the East Timor treaty. We then had to spend millions on interpreters, communications equipment, satellite link ups and not to mention the higher paid echelons of the signals directorate, to nut the treaty through. And when it was all over, you wouldn’t read about, they complain to the UN and say we’re not paying cricket,and playing by the rules. We wrote the bloody rule-book, and now they’re having a go. We saved em from virtual genocide after we left em to rot and now they want more. If that’s how a little piss-pot state like East Timor responds to our even- handedness, then it aint nothing to what might happen if a treaty was signed with THEM’!

Have you asked them? We enquired ‘Yes we asked Noel Pearson. Says he can get us a pro-forma treaty from a university somewhere in the states, same one as worked with the North American first nations. As Norm said, if it aint broke, don’t fix it’.

Malcolm ‘ Derrrr… Why am i here?”

Russia and China. lauging about the K.Rudd, encounter.

Dear reader, it’s been a long time since a PM was put in his place on the world stage. Kevin Rudd is an exception, as a consequence of his no fixed address status. But not since Ming was rebuffed as the peacemaker at Suez, have we witnessed the full fury of real-politik when it comes to Australia’s principled stand on democracy.. There are no pictures, nor recordings of the meeting between Putin and Turnbull, but as a consequence of PCbyCP securing a cleaning contract with the event organisers, who incidentally, helped the Australian government out in the Timor Gap negotiations in Dili, we can now offer you a transcript of this momentous event.

Hands up those who’s air fares were paid for by China?

We have, (in the interests of transparency) edited out some extraneous noises and coughing, as they were not considered to be relevant to the representation of events as they actually happened. The first fragment indicates the sound of opening doors, and the unmistakeable sound of our P.M for innovation and thought bubbles shuffling in, there’s a pause and then the introductions proceed.

Malcolm: Good morning Vladimir.

Vlad: Putin to you

Malcolm; I’m delighted we could meet in camera so to speak, Mr Putin, Sir.

Vlad: Who are you?

Malcolm: Uh….. ( pause and audible sound of shuffling papers) er….Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull

Vlad. P.M of what?

Malcolm: Oh P.M of thought bubbles, innovation and, (sound of coughing) au… Australia.

Vlad: What you doing here?

Malcolm; Oh, (another pause, and the shuffling of notes, ) Um.. Oh… I’m here as representative of Australia, to uphold the ennobling spirit of democracy and free will as light of the free world, and subsidiary role as U.S Deputy Sheriff in South Pacific.

Vlad ( sound of convulsive laughter) .. Oh….ha ha, we have name for that in Russia, we call it…” Napri, Khjakshti, Varnulushkis- Krapyopanttshk Leekshlakalovna”

Malcolm: Which means?

Vlad; (more uncontrollable laughing), ha ha my friend, it means ‘Arse-licker”… Ha ha

Malcolm: (laughing good humouredly), ha ha , I’m greatly relieved.

Vlad; And why so Malcolm’?

Malcolm; Well it’d been rumoured by the Army Signals Directorate that the code word for Australia, was ‘cock-sucker” and ‘arse-licker’, is somewhat less pejorative.

Vlad; pejorative or non pejorative, what the fuck you doing in Syria?

Malcolm, “ Oh that’s easy, defending the noble spirit of democracy and freedom the world over to avert the grasp of tyrants an evil doers in the name of liberty, sacrifice and freedom, and banking.

Vlad; like you fixed Afghanistan and Iraq.

Malcolm: Precisely!!

Vlad; Ha Ha heard much of your sense of humour. (much laughter and sound of scuffle, then awkward silence)

Malcolm:, (muffled voice), Why the fuck did you do that?

Vlad; Ha ha, another Russian expression, what goes around comes round.

Mal. But why me?

Vlad. Shirtfront! Tony asked me to do it, he much stronger leader like me!

Malcolm; But he’s not even P.M.

Vlad: And I aint Santa Claus either. Door slams Vlad walks out, sound of muffled anguish from Malcolm.

Meeting concludes.

Dear reader, if you can recall, we’ve been waxing bout climate change for some time in this forum, and we’re glad to say there’s some positive news on the Climate Authority. Way back in 2013, the Climate Commission was abolished by the Abbott Government. A sensible move designed to improve Australia’s credentials as a world leader in tackling cataclysmic climate change. At the same time Unesco’s climate report issued to the United Nations on the health of the Great Barrier Reef was also watered down to appease tourism and associated government agencies. Another sensible move.

A principled stand. But poor form for Fiction writers.

Regrettably, no one informed the world largest living structure of the delicate, nuanced and responsible re- wording of reports and removal of the Climate Change Commission. The reef responded by abruptly dying. Now, a shadow of its former self, it will ungraciously be completely dead within a decade. Still, the federal Government is up to the mark and most recently prosecuted a Chinese tanker for venting fuel oil in transit through the reef. Always good to find a culprit. A clear demonstration showing that when it comes to the environment, Australia leads. As world leader, our ‘Direct Action Initiative’ is pushing the envelope.

‘Direct Action as a piece of fiction rivals the work of the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen’. Harry Potter author J.K Rowlings paused in a recent appearance at the Sydney Writers Festival to praise the Australian government on it imaginative use of data. Most recently our most recently elected member of the senate, Mr Malcolm Roberts, (of the seventy seven first preference votes) praised the report as ‘fact based and utterly empirical’. With this affirmation, you’d think the benchmark had been truly set.

But no, there’s more.

Today the Federal government announced that the Climate Change Authority would move to Canberra, for ‘better access and accountability’. This followed the recent issuing of the major report, giving praise to Australia’s efforts on reducing carbon, and the minor report where two commissioners repudiated the major report as fanciful. Fancy that! Sensibly, the two dissenting board members were quietly ignored, and the other board members, incidentally all who have been appointed by the coalition, are quite happy with the move to take the authority away from leftist Melboune where it might be exposed to undue influence, and relocate it to Canberra. Canberra, the world leader in imagination deficit will ensure the authority remains in safe hands.

So it’s good news for coal, who’ve increased annual production to fuel the ‘desperate and needy’ in the third world, and good news for climate .There will be new logos and letterheads, not to mention the fitting our of new offices, and car allocation for the management team. Once again proof that the P.M for innovation and ideas booming is on key.

Other nominees for the most exciting new releases in the adult fiction category failed to top the unaminous vote of the coalitions Direct Action policy, which won praise, and topped Vladimir Putins, ‘Surviving Democracy” as the best new fiction in the most promising new writer category.

The Environment and Energy Minister Mr Josh Frydenberg who is on secondment to Peabody Energy, was unavailable for comment.

Kev Walks tall on the World Stage. ( In a non speaking role)

We often wonder, is there life after politics? We wonder still, if there’s a use for a politician that’s passed the political used by date? All these wonderings can only lead to one thing. A sincere concern as to what might happen to a politician who is clearly so intelligent, he doesn’t mind telling others so.

A politician with a sense of himself uber alles. A nation state of the mind, connected to the body of a mere mortal, destined by that total all encompassing righteous sense of destiny that only a Queenslander can have. Bottle it, and you have a war winning weapon. Its power unleashed will change the vary basis of society as we know it.

World leaders discuss Kev’s merit. Body language is all revealing.

What happens then, if you’re a particularly ambitious little Queenslander, and you’ve just been bypassed from that coveted position at the U.N, yes indeed folks to be Secretary General? You jump on the world stage, and make yourself relevant. So it is with great joy that the G20 summit begins with a tete a tete hosted by our very own Kevin. His ambition is undeniable, his hubristic sense of self indomitable, indefatigable, inflexible and unyielding, Kevin is the very acme of the ambitious Queenslander.

Though you thought that the G20 was just a sideshow, for the 1% to determine how to use the other 99% it is with some satisfaction that we can all breathe a sigh of relief knowing that Kevin has found something to do. Please leave him there, and whist there at it, could someone, (a humorist perhaps) allow Kev just a teenzy weenzy opportunity to step up to the microphone. It saddens us at PCbyCP, that Kev is not given more air time, to demonstrate his unquestionable intelligence, perspicacity and wit to the rest of the world. And it with some sadness that he’s not quite so fluent in Korean as he is in Mandarin.

We’re hoping Kev turns up again soon. Perhaps as a mediator between North and South Korea. Or perhaps better still as a negotiator to aid the warring factions in Syria, and Iraq. We hope that Mr Putin, always one for the political opportunity, takes Kevin back to mother Russia, and gives him a chair at a university somewhere. He make the world a safer place, and Australia safe still in the knowledge that he is so gainfully employed, somewhere else.

Exiting from the rear end. A diplomatic non secuitur?

 Recent events in China may indicate an alarming spike in Sino-U.S relations. When asked what a ‘Sino-U.S relation’ was the presumptive Donald Trump replied; ‘its a condo full of Shanghai investors with extended families’, but the truth is more despairing.

There’s another G20 meeting. Forgotten where the last one was, but our analysis indicates that the G 20’s are a good chance for the 1%, or their representatives to gather round and decide which parts of the cake ought to be redistributed. Sadly, theres not much more of the cake to redistribute, and even the crumbs are getting a bit stale and mildewy. Still, optimism abounds when it’s a chance for the worlds finest to stand shoulder to shoulder in unspeakably bad clothing, and make some aimless gesture to global peace and solidarity.

The British, French and German leaders were all met with the red carpet treatment, and even some obscure little pecksniffs, (their very own versions of George Brandis) were given a salute, with clockwork precision by the Peoples Army. But something odd occurred when Obama turned up. No red carpet. We’ve consulted out historical register of red carpet scenarios in some detail, and found only in several historical instances has the red caret been denied. It was denied to Attila upon his triumphant entry to Rome in 456, and Mehmet 11 upon his arrival in Constantinople in 1453. The red carpet was not rolled out by the French government for the entry of the triumphant Wehrmacht in Paris in 1940, and there was no red carpet treatment in Kabul and Baghdad after we gloriously delivered the wretched people of those countries, from the yoke of oppression and totalitarianism so they could drink fully from the promised chalice of freedom. It’s not our fault they just don’t get protocol. And in a local context, no remote community rolled out the carpet, for the glorious noble self sacrificing members of the Australian military who were parachuted into their communities to save them from the iniqueties of vice and debauchery. Nup. A genuine non red carpet scenario. And you’d think if they only showed a bit more gratitude for how we help em, it wouldn’t matter so much.

Protocol is important, it demonstrates Respect. But the absence of red carpet sets a nasty precedent. Where will this end? For a start, though Obama waived the incident aside, it points to increasing tension between the superpowers. There is no shortage of red carpet in China. They actually do quite a bit with red. Any Australian politician, prepared to take donations, ( all it would seem) know the significance of a red carpet. It represents all that is good with free trade and the trickle down effect that has seen wages an growth stagnate. Also and this has been revealed, Obama had to go out the rear exit. Diplomatically speaking, this is the equivalent of “doing a Poo”. Not so statesman-like, to emerge from the “bum’ of an aircraft. But the unmistakeable fear is that this will lead to an escalation of red carpet incidents.

When the Chinese leadership next arrive in the U.S they may also be snubbed. A brown carpet perhaps?. A toy train to convey them to diplomatic headquarters, or as the australians have shown, a warm handshake and bugging of the embassy. A better suggestion is to get rid of tarmac arrivals and arrive by boat. That way the carpet is eliminated, and a gangplank is considered way more statesman- like. And besides, if dignity is at stake, you can keep the gangplank up or throw out a lifeboat or just shove off. In politics and diplomacy, symbolism is everything. Arrive by battleship, submarine, or aircraft carrier and make your intentions clear. But lastly, a brief note of caution. Before disembarking, check the underside, you may find printed in plain text “Made in China”.

Early Spring seems as good a time as to post this unexpurgated entry from Ira Maine Esq, Poetry Editor

Today’s dispatch is Heart and Soul.  Originally dispatched on 30 March 2015

Une fois de plus, bonne journée mes amies,

Calexico’s Across the Wire:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkryXbJ14dE

Those with so much
No show of heart

 Buena Vista Social Club- Veinte Años
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6Z-sDhzq-k

Es un pedazo del alma
que se arranca sin piedad

(It’s a piece of the soul
Torn out without mercy)

And for those that have the luxury of spare time- a version from nearly a century ago

Maria Teresa Vera- Veinte Años
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ja0HBp2hL-Q

And from around the same time

Bessie Smith- Downhearted Blues
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHa2GRozOms

Erma Franklin (Aretha-prangka)-Piece of My Heart
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0QAxIKf8G4

Take another little piece of my heart 

Baymarrwaßa’s way of resisting assimilation is the endeavor to ennoble the hearts of those who try to change her people. Her great fear is that her culture and country will be destroyed and it is this thought that keeps her struggling on against ignorance. She continues to oppose forced assimilation and the destruction of indigenous languages long after others have given up.

Vale Baymarrwaßa – August 2014

And endeavour she did. What a pity that those with no show of heart are in charge, call the shots and hold the purse strings.

Louis Armstrong- Cold Cold Heart
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXapjNo3Uck

Why can’t I free your doubtful mind
And melt your cold cold heart ?

Porquoi pas? 

François

Dear reader, the vexed issue of donations to political parties has raised its ugly head again. It seems there’s nothing we, (the electorate) can do to stop it. Still though, it’s reassuring to know that somebody else’s kleptocracy (China’s) is prepared to do some of the heavy lifting our locals aren’t prepared to do. Things have got to a sticky end in Canberra, there’s only so much lobbying local interests can do. And then there’s the multinationals who have to chip in to do their own bit of lobbying.

New Free Lunch Menu covers in distribution to Parliamentarians. Includes proper investment advice and free first class tickets for family members. (Hurry, Discount bonus lasts till end of November)

Imagine being a lobbyist, now with such a diverse cross bench, they’re running willy nilly along the corridors of Canberra, looking for accessible pollies to lobby. And some, (the celebrated Malcolm Roberts) don’t even need to be lobbied really hard in the first place. He’s a fully fledged independent thinker, who already believes that coal is good for humanity, that the earth is six thousand years old, and that education is utter rubbish. A lobbyists dream you might ask? Well sort of, but it’s not the same sending buckets of cash to individuals who already wholeheartedly agree with your position. There’s a thrill in the chase, and getting reasonably intelligent politicians to avert themselves from a principled, reasoned, and public spirited disposition to one of kickback and naked self interest requires some finesse. There’s considerable satisfaction in the process by thus converting the principled. That’s the art. And for a lobbyist from Big Coal for example, it’s a sense of absolute triumph in making pollies believe that they’re on the right side of history, by killing eco systems and enhancing our extinction.

That’s why this cross bench is so frustrating, Some of them are up for anything, no questions, no argy bargy, and it’s just not challenging. Poor form all round we should think.

 That’s what’s so good about China. China isn’t just one self-interested lobby group. They aint no Peabody peddling coal, nor a nice benevolent plutocrat like Adani, Chevron, or Transurban. Those firms just lobby hard for the principle of the trickle down effect, general despoliation, and naked self interest, pay no tax and society be buggered. China though is a whole system. A complete box, dice and all, nation state. And the leadership more bent than the proverbial banana. And I’ve got to say, even more influential than the Property Council.

 So when the Panda comes knocking on your door, you’d better listen. Another political maxim; ‘never look a gift Panda in the mouth”. And not only will you be lobbied well, nice dinners, trips and other trinkets, you’ll get to sit with the big boys in Beijing. They’ll say really nice things about you, and you’ll get good reviews in the local press. There is the odd catch, you may have to toe their party line, but that’s small beer, cos the party line is one big conga where everyone wins. Sort of kind of an inner circle. And though they say ‘there’s no such thing as a free lunch’, well that’s the general public and in China they don’t get a look in either.

 Either way, it’s the future, and it’s looking good. And though there seem to be lot of people sleeping on the streets these days, you know that with the trickle down effect, they’ll be better off. That’s how economics works. And in China they’ve been doing it for thousands of years. And they won way more medals in the Olympics. So join in line, and party hard. By the way, how do you say “ free Lunch” in Mandarin?