You’d never think that sport could even be political. And we at pcbycp are extremely, glad that the former PM has suggested thus.
It never occured to us.
We all remember Berlin back in 36, that might have been a bit political. And we do remember when the Yanks and all clean-minded people boycotted the Moscow Olympics back in 1980, when the Ruskies invaded Afghanistan. And someone has even suggested that the Olympics have been held in the United Sated some five times since its inception may be political. But we know that is rubbish. The yanks are our staunch allies and whatever they do is fine by us. That’s why we’re always first in line to civilise Korea, Vitenam, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Syria. We’re mates, and in sport, mateship is what really counts. And now we’re in Afghanistan, and been there now for twenty years, is testament to the fact that we’re on the side of right, and all nay-sayers are just malcontents and soft-cocks.
Now this Macklemore stuff is way over the top. Who is this bloke? Is he a bloke? We’re really upset. We listen to easy listening, and have a soft spot for Enya and Richard Clayderrman. And they never get a guernsey at the grand final. Bob Katter has it up to here:
“I mean, this CEO bloke who made this decision, mate, it’s tantamount to seeping sewage into the debutante ball.”
“They said of the Americans during the war that there were three problems with them: over-sexed, over-paid and over here,”
“Well, this little bloke, Macklemore, or whatever his name is, is coming over here. Well mate, go home, we don’t want you here.
“The people that will be there at this game don’t want you.”
And we agree. Who is this Macklemore? He aint Meatloaf, or Rick Astley, or any other past their prime b-grade American performer. That’s why we’re hopping mad. The most important criteria for any Grand Final is to find soemone, who MUST BE FOREIGN, who is perhaps eaking out their post-stardom lifestyle with odd joints at nightclubs and cruise ships and offer them millions to sing at a grand final. That’s the implict rule in Grand Finals, whether it be AFL or ARL. The half-time entertainment must be by a singer no one has ever heard of. The singer must be past their prime, and they must be FOREIGN. This is an undisputed fact, the singer must, (and there will be a test more stringent than the famous dictation test), the singer, must have no knowledge of Australian sport whatsoever. And uphold the principle of the CULTURAL CRINGE.
And that trust between the AFL, the ARL and the public has been broken. Apparently this bloke Macklemore is known by young people. That is just not on. It must cease.
Perhaps in disgust at our treatment of foreign singers who know nothing about aussie sport, the U.S government has retaliated by refusing to send an ambassador. It’s tit for tat politics, and the yanks are very unhappy. They’re being lobbied by out of work actors and singers. And we choose someone who is current and possibly even sings something politically and socially relevant. This experimentation with half time entertainment must cease.
May we suggest a solution.
Find an entertainer with massive cross-cultural appeal, who can bridge the cultural divide. Someone who is a testament of our struggle to realease ourselves from colonialism and the shackles that incarcerate the soul.