Dear reader
We at pcbycp are loathe to editorialise, as it smacks of sanctimony.
A sinecure in a government board? A position on the High Court? Another vacancy for a proven Fair Work Commissioner?
We don’t pretend to hold the high moral ground as we have a firm and resolute understanding of hypocrisy. That’s why this documentary based on real and unassailable fact is so important. Rather than deal with the Federal Governments fiction of giving a stuff about carbon, we describe in scintillating detail the acts of selfless movers and shakers in public life. In doing so, and in this instance we’ve been able to shed a light on Sophie Mirabella post parliament. Although described as ‘electoral poison’ by ignorant voters who just don’t understand her depth, we have been able to prove as an exalted Fair Work Commissioner just how she has attained a new standing amongst the electorate and the taxpayer.
Perhaps a board position with Vicroads or on another BIG INFRASTRUCTURE SPEND? Carparks for Railway Stations?
Why are we saying this? For the community benefit as it is hoped whenever Tim Smith does resign from the state parliament, his federal colleagues will save him for ever having to really work for a living by finding him a publicly funded sinecure. If it works for Sophie it must work for Tim.
Even as a little kiddy at Scots Grammar “Timbo” was anointed by GOD to destroy the will of worthless, unimportant people who worked for a living, and sought preferrment by being ‘nice’ to people…..
His absence of maturity, wit and conviviality has nothing to do with it. He is welded to public life and it’s a waste of a precious resource if he weren’t parachuted into a well-paid position. We hope the board of SBS and the ABC take heed and there may be openings in the Australian War Memorial for a man of his calibre. Perhaps an entire new suite of exhibitions space and galleries devoted to recognising African Crime gangs as a an existential threat to the ‘Australian Way’ more urgent than war with China, or other bits of the world not aligned to ‘Australian values’ would be worthwhile? With this thoughtful insight, let us return to the saga of our two heroes Ces and Quent in their search for who defiled our tea-lady Ms Culthorpe as a parliamentary intern. We hope that leadership by our Prime Minister, a man of recognised international integrity will uncover the perpetrator of this dastardly act.
You may recall our destiny had become inextricably tied to the will of Australia’s foremost Fair Work Commissioner Sophie Mirabella, former member for Indi and perhaps Australia’s, (if not most powerful), most influential woman. And, to make matters more intriguing, we now had the protection of Australia’s most decorated and arguably bravest soldier, ‘Benny-Boy’ Roberts-Smith on our side. Because as you may also recall it was Benny who swapped sides as Sophie was about to have us all wasted and provided the very same AK47 and gaffer tape used to such good effect in Afghanistan. All is not lost……. yet. Our heroes are a little beyond geographically embarrassed, and heading down with Sophie. Who leads them into the very depths of the earth, down down down, below the chamber of pommy nukes and the underground bunker to who knows where. Read on….
‘Timbo’ diligently sorting though funding applications to marginal seats and helping Christian with his Blind Trust.
The trudging seemed endless, and every now and then we’d pause. Sophie would stop as if listening for something, and then, after a pause motion us to follow. Behind us the crunch crunch of Benny’s boots reminded us of our saviour and protector. None of us spoke, we just followed. Sophie who as an exalted Fair Work Commissioner was on top of this situation.
“Now boys, when we get to a junction I want you to do something for me. When I say the word I want you to be very quiet, and wait before we go on ahead. When I give the signal, a flash from this Argyle ring Gina gave me for helping scotch the resource rent tax, (she held up her pudgy ring-finger and displayed a gem the size of a golf ball), you come after me, but quietly. No talking, and no moving till I give the word, got it!! And …. No funny business’!
‘But what’s to stop you from pissin off and just leaving us here, ‘how can we trust you’?
‘TRUST ME’! Because as the French President said; ‘I don’t think……….. I know’!!!!
YOU CAN TRUST ME! !!!! Because… YOU MUST TRUST ME’!
My word’, and she paused for effect; “IS MY BOND”!
What were we to say? With Sophie’s word her bond it posed a series of infinite possibilities. Was Sophie’s word as binding as Scomo’s? Could we chat to the French President on the line to evaluate the veracity real or otherwise? Did we have the time? It seemed fruitless. We were a banana short of the peanut.
Sophie wasn’t for equivocating.
He gave em ‘HIS WORD’! Silly bugger believed him….
‘And besides, because you’ve got nothing else goin for you other than stopping the nukes I might even feel favourably inclined towards you. Proof as some would say I aint all bad’. Then with that, she gave us a smirk, it was repulsive and yet intoxicating. Once seen, more powerful than Medusa’s penetrating gaze to stop one in their steps, and question the very source of humanity we were intent upon preserving. ‘And Don’t move, what I’ve gotta do is very tricky, and if you stuff up were all gonners’.
‘Allright Sophe, Ces sighed, ‘what choice have we but i’ll have Benny keep an eye on you with this’ …. He pointed to Bennys saddle-bag brimming with rocket propelled grenades. ‘Anything shifty, and you’ll be dealing with more than a Christmas cracker’!
Sophie ignored the threat and her grin turned to an evil sneer, she could change facial expressions just like that It demonstrated her capacity for even-handedness as a Fair Work Commissioner.
And with that, we arrived at a sort of platform and a junction with three tunnels going off in different directions she pressed her index finger to her pudgy lips and whispered, ‘now do as I say and no one ‘ll get hurt’, and then, crept to the portal of the nearest tunnel. Her footsteps began to grow softer and then a vague illumination outlined her famously recognisable silhouette. From our perspective it looked all the world like and animated wig-wam, a bell tent or a bean bag, but we knew it to be Sophie and the destiny she carried.
From the long corridor came the whisper; ‘you can come follow me now’!,
Will our heroes follow? What lies await? Is Sophies word her bond? Find out in the next intersectional episode as we get to the bottom of how our political class sustains “A NEW LOW”!
In; “leaked texts aren’t necessarily contextual’,……
or,
“Cant put a finger on it? How do you say LIAR in French’?
