Trincomalee 1944. Lord Louis, the Prince’s uncle talks to Clarrie in happier Days
Dear reader, we return to where we left off, Clarrie, under Royal Command from none other than Prince Andrew, the newly installed GG of PNG, was about to lift the lid. On What?
Well tune in and find out in this next gut-wrenching episode of pcbycp’s failed bid to secure meaningful action on climate at the Pacific leaders Forum.. read on….
What was in the box?
Clarrie lifted the lid.
Clarrie and Ces talk up Alexander Downers’ statesmanship.
In the dark light it was hard to see what lay inside. But with a weary rubbing of his right eye to focus on the task at hand, Clarrie gently lifted out a small scroll of age-worn paper. The scroll was bound with a crimson ribbon, and in the centre a wax seal. We all ghasped, what could this be? And why was Prince Andrew so keen for Clarrie to open the box himself? When as we all know, a Royal just grabs whatever he wants and buggers the consequences.
With a deferential nod, Clarrie passed the scroll to his Royal Highness. The room became deathly still. Only the sound of the Rascol gang beating a deep and intense rhythm on Clarries un-sold Iron lung to permeate the stydgean gloom.
The Prince raised the scroll, so that we could all see it. And the motif on the Seal was unmistakeable. An Eagle, with a crown, and on either side of the shield the words “Gott Mit Uns”, and the unmistakeable monogram W11. ‘Kaiser Bill’ muttered Ces. The Prince, with reverential awe muttered; ‘another of my great Uncles’, and allowed his index finger to caress the outline of the seal. He turned to all of us gravely, “This”… (he paused in the complete and utter absorption of the moment) ‘this fragment of paper is’…… he stuttered, ‘is…. my destiny”, and with a quick flick of his sword, which he raised and deftly lowered at the speed of lightning in a decisive arc, the seal was rent asunder.
Ces enjoying the vice- regal sunlight
We ghasped, (again) How could this be? How had it lain hidden here for countless decades? And to what purpose?
‘my great great uncle Prince Heinrich Ludwig Hedwig Earwig von Battenburg,’ ( Prince Andrew’s soliloquy)
Then the Prince spoke; “See!!! It’s all here! Over a hundred and twenty years ago, my great great uncle Prince Heinrich Ludwig Hedwig Earwig von Battenburg, stopped briefly at the Governor’s Residence in Port Moresby. A courtesy visit between what was then, German New Guinea and the Australian Protectorate of Papua. During the course of that visit he informed the Commandant that the interests of both the German and the British Empires were best served, (even in the event of war) in a long-term partnership to thwart any woud be agressor from the North. Within this parchment are the co-ordinates of where an element more valuable than Einsteininium lies. An element so powerful, so priceless that the Anglo-German destiny shall endure, “UBER ALLES’!
Clarrie interjected wryly; ‘But why would you help out the Jerries’?,
The Prince turned to Clarrie and with a face fit to explode thundered; “VY”? VY YOU ASK”? The Prince gathered himself, ‘BECAUSE ZESE SAME PEOPLE ARE ALSO MEIN GERMANIC COUSINS’!
‘Oh’! Ces said phlegmatically, “yep. Spose you’re right”.
The Prince regained his composure and continued;
“And so the Germanic Anglo Regional South Eastern Hemisphere of Localised Engagement Treaty, (GARSEHOLE) was enacted. In top secrecy, to ensure that in the event of any war this treaty stood INVIOLATE, until such time it would be realised as the SINGULAR PAN STRATEGIC GLOBAL POLICY! THE TIME HAS COME!! He flourished his sword in the air for added effect. “My illustrious forebear came to this spot with a singular purpose. To ensure that any future power, any would- be agressor, any impudent upstart not embracing the crimson thread of kinship that unites our two peoples who dare challenge our rule, our rightful place as masters over the entire South Pacific WILL FAIL!
Prince Heinrichs flagship, Die Ersatz Kurfürst Echte Schtenkentopf. In its heyday, the most powerful ship in the entire Pacific, (Janes)
‘By what’? Cec drolly asked, clearly he wasn’t having a bar of it; ‘You lot were kicked out of German New Guinea in 1914, why pretend it wasn’t all over then’?
‘You don’t understand’. The Prince poked the air with his sword for emphasis. ‘That was just a ruse’! We have waited with natives trained in the principle of GARSEHOLE through generations . Passed down by word of mouth and drum. Even now you can hear’.
We all listened.
What will happen next? Will the Princes extensive global reach as an undisputed world leader save the crew at pcbycp?
OR… will they all perish?
Natives being enthusiastically trained by the German High Command, (South Pacific Territories) in the sacred meaning of GARSEHOLE
Stay tuned for another compelling episode of pcbycp, “Who bangs the bongo drum’?, or “The Perils of pcbycp in Papua?
to be continued. ….