New Sun Smart ” Heat Wave Alert” Signs to be installed in all capital cities. Courtesy Minerals and Energy Council

Good Governance

Australia swelters in a heat wave. A heat wave more intense than the last. It promises just to be a preamble to the imminent Hyper Heat Wave. The Hyper Heat Wave will be so intense, cars will sink into the oleaginous goo of molten road surfaces. Kiddies, will be burnt upon the surface of the schoolyard. Their lifeless forms vapourised to a post Hiroshima-esque shadow. Mums and dads, will die horribly. Dessicated, dusted and decoupaged as mere carapaces of their former selves. That is the terrible, frightful reality of global warming. That is the hyper reality that reality television just don’t get. The unutterable truth of where we stand now. Poised on the precipice of humanity’s last hour. Moments before being swallowed whole by the gaping maw of a revengeful and bitter earth god thingy.

Donald indicating where Lord Murdoch stands in the greater scheme of things

Luckily, Rupert of the book of Murdoch was on hand to help Donald go through his lines when interviewed by Time. And to the readers satisfaction, climate change is just a myth. Therese May has made herself giddy by keeping up with Rupert’s constant to-ing and fro-ing between the U.S and Downing Street.  And, just to remind the western corporatised pseudo democracies where the power lies, Rupert is adamant that climate change is rubbish for Australia also. To prove a point, his mates in the Minerals and Energy Council bought along a lump of coal to pass around the floor of the federal parliament.

And the ” little people” play at governing for the other 99%.

Coal doesn’t technically vote. But the pollies were worship-ful. They know the reason behind the South Australian blackout, the reason behind ‘black’, (pick any day of the week) and the reason why manufacturing, education, healthcare, thinking and imagination are stone cold dead. We’ve lost our faith in coal. Coal pleads the reason why. Possibly the best non question time in parliament. The treasurer “Scott of the Impenetrable” passed it to Barnaby who tossed to Tony, who bowled it, ( left arm unorthodox) to Kevin and then lobbed it over the speakers head into the lap of Eric who declared it ‘righteous’, and before hand-balling it to Susan, made a quick pass to Malcolm. And with that, Malcolm’s credentials as leader, (for at least the rest of the week) was secured.

‘Mission accomplished’ hurrahed the new leader of Australian Conservatives. High-fives from Gina and Sophie. Australian politics on sale to the highest bidder. Because in governance, as in the board room, Malcolm proudly proclaimed, “in politics, you quite often get what you pay for’. The day over, the pollies all retired to investigate the current value of their investment properties, superannuation schemes, parliamentary pension funds and anything else that proves to them that they’re on the right side of history. And Coal, God bless it’s soul, demonstrated once and for all ‘the power of One’.

And on this day our Lord Murdoch, uttered; ‘I see everything that i have made, and behold, It is very good’