Sir Tony in a reflective mood.
Today we’re going to talk about the CEO of Australia Posts salary. But first a revealing story from Washington, bought to us by our esteemed correspondent Sir Tony Emo of Atney:
“Washington: President Donald Trump loves to set the day’s narrative at dawn, but the deeper story of his White House is best told at night. Aides confer in the dark because they cannot figure out how to operate the light switches in the Cabinet room. Visitors conclude their meetings and then wander around, testing doorknobs until finding one that leads to an exit. In a darkened, mostly empty West Wing, Trump’s provocative chief strategist, Stephen Bannon, finishes another 16-hour day planning new lines of attack…..”
Australia Post CEO is just not paid enough.
Jeannie Pratt angry that her invitation to Mr Fahours’ slumber party arrived late.
There’s been quite a lot of odium kicked up recently about the CEO of Australia Post getting over 5 million a year. Some people have suggested quite unfairly that his salary is way way way out of wack with the pathetic indices of Austria post efficiency. For example it takes sometimes up to three weeks to deliver a letter in Bendigo. In dem olden days it would be delivered by hand from a dray, or perhaps a beautiful PMG bicycle in one half a day. There were morning and afternoon deliveries, and everyone knew, whether it be call up notices or tax returns the friendly neighbourhood postie would be right on time and cheerily, (angry dogs notwithstanding) ensure that the post got through.
Australia Post trials new bicycle technology
Not these days, letters are gathered in Bendigo, then re-sorted in Melbourne, before they’re then re-sent to the main sorting repository in Dandenong. They’re then analysed and re-sorted before being sent to Albury and then from Albury re-sorted and redistributed to arrive smack back in the town they came from a few weeks earlier. Consequently no one uses the mail service. If you sent an invitation, for example you could guarantee that it would arrive days after the event, and as it has been proven so, everyone, from the city council to the local lions club, now eschew post tor email or what’s colloquially referred to as “Bush telegraph”. Now the telegraph hasn’t been in use properly since the siege of Mafeking, but we’d like to remind Australia Post if they should like to upgrade this old technology, the ancient posts are still there along the Melbourne Bendigo rail-line. And though the wires have been re-utilised by cocky farmers, the system is still virtually intact. Also the distance between Big Hill and Mt Alexander, then thru to Macedon is still ideal for heliograph, semaphore or as the natives were wont to use, smoke signals. Morse is still quite effective and native runners, though out of favour since settlement could still be found and would prove a boom to indigenous education and outsourced education providers.
These are just a few of the initiatives that we at pcbycp plan to put forward to Mr Fahour at the next annual meeting of Australia Post and anticipate with mailing times blowing our to pre-Euclidean times, we can have a big impact on Australia post strategic output ‘moving forward’ as they say in management speak.
Mr Fahour’s House. It’s native in design and equipped with dual semaphores and in house envelope lickers.
But we do know this much, Mr Fahour is fabulously wealthy and he gives half of the sum he earns to charity. And that, with the tax incentive is a good reason to give. Without the salary he’d be skint. So Mr Fahour if you’re listening, (it is alleged he licks over 3000 envelopes personally as an act of contrition) we hope you sort this out, and well keep you posted on future developments. Because at pcbycp we like to put our stamp on things.