We picked up where we left off, Dan Tehan, our new Minister for foreign stuff chatting to Angus, and then a brief assignation with Angus’s bag-man ‘Jamie (the Shreck) Packer’!
Jamie was dressing us down, if he moved any closer he’d have squashed us!
Even “the Colossus” was scared of Angus!
‘With China’? We trembled, cos Jamie, was towering over us. He was a fucking great COLOSSUS!
‘Nup, youse,
You’ve stuffed things up and made Angus really FUCKEN angry’!
‘What for’?
‘For interfering’.
‘How’?
‘By sticking yer filthy necks where they don’t belong’
“US’?, We only did this cos we were asked to help the Minister’,
‘Yeah, thats precisely what I mean’!
‘But he’s a Minister of the Crown’! ( Ces spelled out The Crown with gravitas, emphasising the God-given role of the Ministry as servants of Her Majesty the Queen in keeping us civilised and respectful to things higher than Sportsbet or 24/7 telly)
Proof. Money can make you MASSIVE!
‘Yeah’, Jamie flinched, but not on Angus’s payroll’.
Gulp, you could hear a pin drop ,
Clearly Angus had more clout than the Chinese,
‘But what about Andrew Robb, and Sam Dastyarii”, Joel Fitzgibbon, and whoever it was from whichever side of politics representing the Chinese Communist party who won the Chisholm electorate’?
‘Bullshit! Pawns! Nobody’s! Minnows!
Look take this’, he passed us the USB. And, whatever anyone says . You never saw me’!
And for emphasis he turned to us drawing his index finger across his throat; ‘You’ve SEEN NUFFINK’!
And in a flash he was off.
‘Whaddawe gonna do Ces?
Dunno lets get home…..
And home’?
What was home? We felt like strangers in our own country.
We’d nowhere left to run, clearly Angus had it all covered.
After a diet, Jamies physique was near perfect
‘Well…. So Jamie says’, Ces opined
‘Yeah, and you know what Jamie says’….
It was true, Jamie was unreliable, and post enquiry a little shabby, But if he was shabby, what did that make Angus?
We daren’t think. To cross Angus would be a Juanita Nielsen short of the developer, and we didn’t fancy concrete shoes and a dip in the harbour. Rushing to catch the tram, we donned our face masks and settled in for the ride home. Ces busied himself with the form guide and ‘Best Bets’. In a pinch he’d pick a winner, that offered a ray of hope, but being a Sunday the TAB was closed and we were a week short of our next job-seeker payment . Still it could be worse. WE could be the crew of a stranded coal tanker, a real estate agent selling blocks of flats off the plan to the Chinese market, or a Hong Kong Bookseller. “Whichever way we looked at it (arguably), we’re still the lucky country’!
‘You betcha’! quipped Ces, “and the luckiest bastard amongst us would have to be Angus’.
Could Michael Kroger save us?
But who was Angus really? All the leads seemed to lead in his direction and then just ‘Poof’, go nowhere or disappear. And even the wealthiest most influential people in the whole of Australia were scared of him. If only we could unlock these deep secrets, and find the clues that would unlock this stinking mess of political back-stabbing, intrigue and brinkmanship. ‘Perhaps Michael Kroger could help us’? suggested Ces. “Nup. Too busy in stuffing the Liberal party, and besides Angus hates Victorians, that’s why he used taxpayer funds to buy the Murray Darling, so he can turn off the tap”.
But perhaps luck was on our side. Pity, there was so little time to sort things out we mused, these were high stakes, Australia’s future was in the balance. As Ces put it phlegmatically, ‘you’d have better chance of picking the quaddy than being a jump ahead of ol Angus’!
But the question still remained,
Who was Angus really?
Whatever Angus stood for, it was bound to be MURKY! And get us into DEEP TROUBLE!
Yes dear reader. Who is Angus we’d all like to know. I there a log Jam in jam-land that cold uncover his dealings? And just what river systems did he still have to acquire via his unlimited slush taxpayer funds to divert to the Caymans? All this was unclear, and by Jamie Packers brief appearance, we knew it was probably shabby, and could have all of us inside.
‘Jam-land or no Jam-land whichever way his bread is buttered, we’re the proverbial margarine in the sandwich? Too right ejaculated Ces, and as Marlon famously said in ‘Last Tango’ there’s more ways to use margarine, than you’d ever imagine in the Gordon Bleu cookbook’.
Whoever Gordon was.
Who was Gordon? Why was he blue? Perhaps an accomplice of Angus’s?
Stay tuned for our next thrilling instalment,
Former Trade Minister and P.M demonstrates Gordon Blue’s menu in warding of Chinese influence at local take away.
‘A jam tin tossed’ or ‘Gordons Blues’