Dear reader, we pick up where we left off, and whichever way we looked at it we were in DEEP TROUBLE!
Nothing to see here
Our intrepid heroes had just received a usb from Jamie Packer, who told us we were in deep shit. ‘If that aint the pot calling the kettle black’, said Ces, read on….
Nothing to see here either
Still, we still had the USB, perhaps that would unlock the secret of Australia’s fraught relationship with China, and put a light on Angus? In a flash, Ces had the usb into the computer and we waited, there was a pause, and before we could say ‘Belt and Road’, the screen flickered, and there was the unmistakeable hammer and sickle and a bona fide communist party slogan all over the screen. ‘Death to US Imperialist paper tigers and their lap dog Australia” And in the top right corner the figure of Xi, and then below it, in Chinese style, (as they do in country pubs with asian food on the menu) the words, “Glorious Angus Taylor make benefit fund’, and the picture of ol Angus, looking Prime Ministerial in a Mao suit and the caption ‘Chinas 1# friend in Australia’. We scrolled down and looked at all these projects the Chinese had a stake with Angus in. The entire Murray Darling basin, had been mapped out to reveal what Angus had to gain from diverting rivers of gold through tapping into the resource rich conduit of public funding. We had to hand it to him, Angus was getting funding for water sourced in the one to one hundred years flood, and he even had a contingency for the entire artesian basin converted to bit-coin via the Cayman’s into Yuan. “Even where there aint water’, said Ces, “he’s making an income from RIVERS OF GOLD’!
Road infrastructure, rail infrastructure, university enrolments and visas, telecommunications in and out of Sydney Council, freeway investment, airports and the entire health infrastructure. In big dots over the map of Australia all the principle ports were marked with a gold star, and ‘look at this?’ Ces cried, ‘he’s working on national parks and cutting green tape’, and it was true, Angus had ear-marked our natural assets via handing over federal responsibility to the states, national parks to investment hubs, and state controlled fishing industries to Chinese state run enterprises. ‘Jeez I wonder if ol Angus is behind the new fishing hub in the Torres Strait’? And sure enough in Chinese text and below it (‘Jam- Land’) it proved not just fish but a much more comprehensive diversification of Jam- land as a ‘fully autonomous state owned enterprise’ into wheat, barley abattoirs and wine. There wasn’t one item yet banned by China that wasn’t on his list. ‘Fuck me’! Ces opined, ‘they’ve killed these industries so that Angus and Jam- land can clean up. No wonder they call him the Minister for Energy, he’s got the power’.
Removing competition from Number 1# fishing fleet for new facility on PNG.
But disturbingly, we couldn’t work out how he funded all of it, the scale was immense. The Murray Darling we understood was just a simple act of siphoning public funds and featherbedding. But how could he pay for all this?
The scale was incomprehensible, the audacity, the cheek, the chutzpah!. The next scrolling revealed it all a middle man intent on rewarding himself with most favoured citizen for ‘THE TAKE-OVER’.
The take-over?
Yep, the money was on the takeover, and the mandarin behind it all, the ‘number one citizen of most reward” , who had recently only just days ago posted an informative and sympathetic argument of depression in the Peoples Daily. Was it Andrew Robb, former president of the Liberal party? He’d suffered depression after taking the 800 k job with landridge to sit in an office once a week for upwards of an entire hour? Or was it perhaps his right hand man? Tony Abbott might be in on it? If he’s doing to the U.K what he did to Australia? Ces scrolled, “Well I’ll be, that just about takes the cake’! For there in the small text another reference to “M”.
Port of Darwin receives valued infrastructure
“M accepts order of Mao in secret ceremony”
‘M performs led role in bold new interpretation of “My Favourite Concubine”
‘M lashes out at Imperialist lap-dog Austraia in scathing editorial for Global Times’
‘M, most ecxalted foreign citizen supports re- eduction of Uighurs and roasted coelocanth as new national dish’.
Whichever way we looked at it M had a big stake in China. He’d hitched his caravan to the belt and road.
Jam-Land marketing logo
‘This is it, all roads, even Angus’s road all lead to this bloke ‘M’.
Who was M? Was he the mastermind? Was he the man prepared to sell Australia to the evil communist over- lords for bitcoin and most favoured citizen status?
Frankston Marina gets Belt and Road Upgrade
If he had Angus in his pocket, he would STOP AT NOTHING!
Whoever M was he was the KING- PIN.
‘If we unlock this one, Angus’s parliamentary career is over, and he’ll be looking for a lobbying job faster than you can say ‘The Fixer”. Too right he’ll be on the board of baby milk powder producers and will have to earn his keep. Perhaps, even give us his Cayman island investments? Nup he wouldn’t do that, no-one else does, he just wont need to declare it, and he can go on getting funding for his Jam land the usual way, by lobbying, just do as Rupert does. You don’t even have to put your hand up and the P.M will ask you ‘How Much’?
And of time, we had too little.
Angus goes maiden speech in Parliament.
The takeover could already be happening, and who on earth was the mysterious M.
We had no time, and of that little else…. The sand was running out, and the tide with it.
Kororoit Creek gets makeover, (courtesy Belt and Road).
Will our intrepid heroes survive the evil M? Will they find themselves a bit of a bitcoin too far? Find out in our next instalment, “A bit of a Bind” or “A Bound feet shuffle and a thousand small steps to China”.