Today as a rare and special treat, we feature one of Australia’s greatest poets
Dame Edna Everage.

A Leaf Out of Dame Edna’s Book

I’m thrilled to be back, before winter has gripped us
In this frock that’s inspired by our own eucalyptus
I’ve just been in the States on a series of gigs
Just spreading my branches and twitching my twigs
But I had to come home, to all you “little beauts”
And the soil that I sprang from – back to my roots

I’m in wonderful health, I don’t look my age
But it’s near 50 years since I first graced this stage.
There’s a tear in my eye, in my throat there’s a lump
To remember myself then, I looked like a frump!
My make-up was awful, my hair a brown crop
And my clothes would have shamed an opportunity shop

And who could have guessed as my talent unfurled
That one day I’d be envied and loved round the world
That film stars and royalty and president’s wives
Would ask me to help them in their little lives
That the rich and the famous with money to waste
Would beg me for guidance on glamour and taste

Though my head is enclosed with these green leafy fronds
My roots go down deep underneath Moonee Ponds
For it gets in the blood, or in my case the sap
And let’s face it, I put Moonee Ponds on the map.

When I first shyly trod these historical boards
They all flocked to see me – but not in great hordes
I did not seek ovations from a cheering house
I had kiddies at home and an invalid spouse
A cream brick veneer and a foxie called Rover
My biological cycle as I thought, was over.

But look at me now, I guess I’ve made the grade
I put most other megastars well in the shade
In a forest of shrubs I’m a towering tree
Yet you won’t find an actress as modest as me
And I’m home (as I think that the media know)
To announce I’m presenting a cutting edge show.

A show that will make the other shows look like weeds
With that laughter and joy that the worried world needs
So huddle, Australians neath my wide-spreading boughs
Though some may be sheep and a few may be cows
Let’s meet in the theatre – all cosy and dark
Where you’ll find that my bite is no worse that my bark.

Dame Edna Everage, Melbourne, July 2003.