Dear reader, 

Vic Police Gang- tasering a suspected Jay walker. He was later medically euthanised for other citizen crimes, including walking against the red light, smiling in public, and not wearing a face- mask.

With only two days till Christmas we find out heroes Ces and Quent still no further in their quest to find out who defiled our tea-lady Mrs Culthorpe whilst she was working as a parliamentary intern in the nations parliament. With nerves frazzled by a long incarceration under the stewardship of Australia’s most powerful woman (now elected to the board of the Fair Work Commission), Sophie ‘I’ve got your testimonials in both hands’ Mirabella. They are bound on a light rail, deep beneath the desert wastes on a journey to who knows where? If you think this is akin to the Coalitions’ climate policy you’d be wrong, because as we all know like the sanity clause in the Marx brothers ‘Go West’, you’ve gotta believe in Sanity Claus in the first place. 

Old lady being tasered for walking across the road in an area not controlled by zebra crossing or traffic lights.

Imperilled, imprisoned, and disheartened by the fact that all of Victoria’s finest will soon be equipped with tasers to electrocute and stun citizens for jay-walking and language non respecting to the uniform, we know that there is no short fix.  When the police are all equipped to injure, stun and render immobile citizens for processing by the criminal justice system at whim we know that their ordeal may only just be beginning. Hard lines for those determined to seek justice, but comforting still that for those who seek compensation for injustice from august institutions, parliament, the churches and the police should have to fight for their right to be heard. Which is a good thing because it ensures respect for those institutions. And as our old friends Vlad and Xi tell us, ‘you cant have respect without fear’. Its axiomatic, fear keeps the troublemakers in their place. 

So spare  a thought for Tudgey who launched robo-debt and scorn for his former secretary who squealed.  Institutions loathe squealers and troublemakers.  They’re a nuisance and upset  the very foundation of a righteous, and respectable establishment. Without these levers we are doomed to informed conversation and the principles of universal participation and egality. And that’s bad for the triple bottom line, of the three wise men, Jesus, God and gift-bearers who have undeclared assets and the power of tasers. Confused yet? You will be as we return to our saga

Vic Police Children’s crossing supervisory group, (VPCCSG) ready to assess Working with Children certification of Santa.

Ces and Quent, became mesmerised by the shimmering light that glimmered ahead of the conveyance. Quent nudged Ces;  ‘You’d think Ces if it were a firefly it’s  a bit far-fetched down here in a tunnel to who knows where? I mean you’d think there’d be a few more of em, for what would be the point of Fire- flying if there was no other Firefly to Firefly to’?

‘You’ve gotta point there Quent, and if it were a mechanical device, it moves with such singularity, it couldn’t have been invented way back in the fifties when this underground rail network was crafted. Perhaps it’s a drone or even a small pilotless craft? 

New immigration processing facility portal design, (focus groups determined that “arbeit macht frei’ was inappropriate for non german speaking inductees).

Preparations for the St Basils Christmas Party came to a bit of a Dead-End.

Hmmm,  our two heroes reflected upon this astro-physically challenging phenomenon as the little tram they were bound to under the ever watchful eye of Sophie, (MP 40 in hand) and ‘Benny Boy’ Roberts-Smith, arguably Australia’s most noble and decorated soldier sat glumly behind them. Like the brake-man on the Scenic railway at Luna Park, the only difference being, this was not ‘Just for Fun’!

“Whatever it is it just keeps at the same distance, and though we seem to be travelling at a constant speed, were no closer to it! Do you think down here it could be like the proverbial gravitational wave?’, proffered Quent. ‘Suppose’, replied Ces scratching his chin in deep thought, ‘according to Einsteins theorem, down here with no influence of wind, atmospheric disturbance or even tectonic movement it might be just like St Elmos fire, a sort of reflection of ourselves in the shape of charged ions induced to dance upon the rail before us like a ghostly apparition? Like the coalition climate policy, with no rhyme nor reason, but presented to us in the temporal world as something real, when it is just a trick of the eyes and the mind’. 

Is it a trick in the mind? 

Tudgey’s secretary got into huge trouble deservedly for squealing after the Christmas Cocktail function.’ If she’d squealed and jay walked in Victoria she could’ve been tasered’, (Tudgey)

Is it the last trick to be played by our courageous duo? Find out in the next tangentially Yule-tide- ish episode. ‘Santa never made it to the St Basils Christmas party” or….We used to truncheon you and handcuff you, but tasers are much more fun and give zap to any post Christmas Cocktail Party goer who jaywalks without an official exemption”.