Bonjour mes amies,
My holiday reading included Stephen Clarke’s ‘1000 Years of Annoying the French’, a hilarious yet historically accurate take on English-French relations. That is, hilarious to all but French people and historically accurate from an Anglo-centric perspective.
Greg Champion’s French song….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDVP9KhsCb0
The book included many quotes, such as:
“History is a series of lies on which we agree”- Napoleon Bonaparte.
“English is just badly pronounced French”- Georges Clemenceau (1841-1929) French Prime Minister.
“deGaulle has a head like a banana and hips like a woman”- Hugh Dalton (a minister in Churchill’s government).
The latter quote was subsequently improved upon when paraphrased by Alexander Cadogan (Foreign Office) who replaced the banana with a pineapple.
The French presence in North America started as early as 1524. In 1713 King Louis XIV ceded all of French Canada to Britain (Treaty of Utrecht) including Acadie (Nova Scotia).
To rub salt in the wounds of any French Canadians reading this dispatch, King Louis XIV looked like this:
Small comfort that the ‘Sun King’ carked it two years aprés.
Between 1755 and 1763 an estimated 12,600 Acadiens were deported (out of a total of about 18,000).
Governor Lawrence gave the order to commence deportation. At Grand Pré, empty cargo ships arrived and all males over the age of ten were commanded to attend a meeting on pain of forfeiting goods and chattels.
Colonel Winslow told over 400 assembled men and boys that what he was about to do was very disagreeable to him “as I know it must be grievous to you who are of the same species”. Winslow went on to announce that “your land and tenements, cattle of all kinds and livestock of all sorts are forfeited to the Crown with all your other effects, savings, your money and household goods and you yourselves will be removed from this Province”. To show that the Brits believed in fair play Winslow furthermore told the shocked gathering that “I am through his Majesty’s goodness directed to allow you liberty to carry of your money and household goods as many as you can without discommoding the vessels you go in “. Never mind that after packing in the deportees no room for household goods remained.
[Review of Indigenous Education in the Northern Territory (2014): “The review supports the teaching of literacy in first language where feasible“ . Never mind the several decades in which attempts to make it feasible have suffered persistent socio-political and bureaucratic sabotage.]
Just in case you thought that politically opportunistic lying (such as ‘non-core promises’) was a recent phenomenon, Colonel Winslow promised that “whole families shall go in the same vessel”. Simultaneously Governor Lawrence sent an order to Colonel Monckton: ‘I would have you not wait for the wives and children coming in, but ship off the men without them’
Eventually women and children arrived to join the men, bringing as many belongings as they could carry, but despite British promises, these were left behind on the shore, to be ‘found’ five years later by English settlers.
The Guardian- 27 Nov. 2014 (reporting on the closing down of the East Kimberley community of Oombulgurri):
“Finally, the 10 residents who resolutely stayed to the end were forcibly evicted, given just two days notice of eviction and allowed to bring only one box of belongings each. They had to leave behind cars, whitegoods, tools and personal possessions.”
The last (almost three thousand) deportees set sail, packed tightly as slaves in 14 vessels. If the Acadiens had had portholes they would have seen the smoke and flames rising from their settlements, as the soldiers burned houses and barns, to ensure the departure was final.
The West Australian- 26 June 2014:
“The Department of Housing confirmed this week about 44 houses and associated infrastructure like fencing, demountable school buildings, the power house, donga dwellings, various sheds and septic tanks would be buried ‘on-site’”
ABC News- 23 September 2014:
(Aboriginal Affairs Minister) Peter Collier said demolition was necessary to reduce further vandalism and theft, and to leave the site in a safe condition for future non-residential use by the traditional owners.
[Genius!!! Might this non-residential use include exploration for diamonds by non-traditional owners? Might the real reason be to ensure the departure was final?]
C’est pareil, n’est pas?
The self-proclaimed Prime Minister for Aborigines’ Government has cut funding to the States for services to Homelands. The West Australian Government intends to close down 150 or so Aboriginal Communities…
A song dedicated to Tony Abbott and “Twiggy” Forrest:
Bob Dylan’s Positively 4th Street:
You’ve got a lot of nerve to say you are my friend…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4cbfqUY2A8
jusqu’à ce que la prochaine fois
François
PS-
Survival International- January 2015:
“Throughout India, thousands of people are being illegally evicted from their ancestral homes in tiger reserves in the name of conservation”.
The tiger, he looked out of his cage and smiled
He said come here boy, I want to talk to you a while
He said I once was running wild and free, just the same as you
But it’s one step from the jungle to the zoo
It’s one step from the jungle to the zoo (woo hoo)
You better watch out or they’re gonna get you too (hm hm)
They’ll clip your claws, cut your hair, make a pussy cat out of you
It’s one step from the jungle to the zoo
He said son when you go running through the grass
You better look out for all the hidden traps
They’ll feed you sweets and goodies ’til you’re too fat to move
Then it’s one step from the jungle to the zoo