You’re probably wondering what the Commonwealth Games, probably the most significant event in the international sporting calendar has to do with Australia’s Greatest, (cos he says so in his autobiography) Prime Minister EVER!
WEll, it’s because of the ball tampering scandal. You see the ball tampering scandal, possibly the greatest sporting scandal EVER to hit Australia, is a benchmark. It’s a Dividing Line. It’s a Watershed Moment. From herafter Australian history will be referred to as “Australia BBTS”, (Before Ball Tampering Scandal) and Australia ABTS ( After Ball Tampering Scandal). It will mark that turning point in our national culture.
And who better to define it than the Greatest P.M of Australia, Kevin Rudd. Only seven days into Australia’s (ABTS) Kevin has warned Australians of how we are courting unfavourable controversy and notoriety for our ball tampering skills. Kevin is worried about what other people in the international sphere may think about us. As sportsmen and all around good blokes. He’s really worried that this is more than just a diplomatic hiccup. It may impact on how others see us. Probably bigger than the spy scandal in the UK if you take a long look at it. And Kevin, because he’s the greatest foreign diplomat we’ve ever had, is seriously worried and so concerned that he needs to tell us folks back home that this really could be the tipping pont.
Kevin, crusader of all that is good, champion of the homeless and the aboriginal australians, is always there as a pointer to the national consciousness. And we feel Kevin’s impatience and frustration, that he may not be heard clearly enough over the white noise of the twernty four hour news cycle. Indeed singular and nation changing issues like giving tax breaks to big corporations who don’t pay tax, and urging the wealthiest of us to hide their gains behind the cloak of philanthropy is just crowding the airwaves. And besides, it’s footy season.
WE at Pcbycp have a plan. We want to make Kevin more prominent. We want Kevin, as he is another AQ, (Ambitious Queenslander) to be the mascot and permanent head of the Commonwealth Games. WE want Kevin, courtesy of the Australian taxpayer to do more of the heavy lifitng and represent us more effectively on the global stage. What better vehicle for doing this than being our permanent Commonwealth Games ambassador?
He could lecture the people of Nigeria on human rights. And the people of Trinidad and Tobago on the proclivities of ball tampering. And from his lofty height he could make pronouncements, in a faintly god-like manner on how he alone improved the lot of indigenous australians, and how he is more worthy than any one else EVER to project his brand of international dimplomatic prowess as “KEVINISM”
So we urge Kevin to be really significant and get behind the most significant sporting event EVER, the Commonwealth Games. To prove once and for all, how relevant he is in international diplomacy, feather bedding and being the greatest politician ever, both BBTS and ABTS.
And you know why?
Cos he says so.