On Preganacy, punctuation, punishment, puritanism … and Latin grammar

From North America,  hot on the tail of those who march (unarmed) in the US, to protest (as is their right), for those to be armed and (as is their right) carry an arsenal of weapons to keep themselves and other law abiding citizens “ Safe”.

First from our agent provocatrix in the U.S, Cecil Poole, this observation:

‘Placard from gun control march, Raleigh NC. The plural of Uterus is surely uteri. Education is not what it used to be. Sad”;.

Then quicker than you can say “March of little feet” this sanguine observation from our bard from the near north Ira Maine:

“Pull yourself together, for Gawd’s sake!

Surely the placarded lady used the word as she did in order to stir
an echo of the tediously ubiquitous shop name: ‘Boring ‘r’ Us’.

‘Uterus’ sounds awfully like ‘Youth ‘r’ Us’  to me. I hardly think
this double entendre was accidental given the subtlety of her overall
message. It is singularly apposite and is unlikely to have occurred by

The  saddest part to me is that most of the Trumped up jackass class
simply will not understand her message. They would find ‘uteri’
utterly incomprehensible.

In barricaded expectation of an avalanche of hooted derision in
response, I take my gentle leave…

My compliments to the splendid Andrea*,

Ira Maine,
Lord of the IGA  Aisles and a Martyr to Ungovernable Wind’.

Sir Atney as a student, when he studied Latin and Grammer and punchtuation.

And then, the final word from our sage of the Sydney-Ciders Sir Atney of Emo:

“Of course, the rot started when the Classics disappeared from the school syllabus, displaced by Inter-Gender Studies, Creative Carpet Laying, The Use of Deconstruction in the Critical Analysis of Japanese Manga Comics, etc.

Thus not one in hundreds would have spotted the errors abounding in Brian’s graffito in Monty Python’s ”Life of Brian” – “Romanes eunt comus”.

As present company, latinists all, would well know, the message should be “Romani ite domum” (Romans go home). Amongst other corrections, the verb now takes the third-person imperative form.

O tempora, O mores!


Sir Atney Emo”

And then from the Tolmordian Transigent,

‘Moses, when he finally got all of his followers together and began to
shepherd them out of the city, he found his way utterly blocked by
heaps of uncollected garbage.
‘What about our long sojourn in the wilderness?’ he cried as he
surveyed the piled up and stinking mess.’This will very probably
bugger up  our entire Biblical itinerary!’

Out of nowhere, as if ’twere a miracle, there appeared the twelve
apostates, with shovels.

In a trice the way was made clear, the Garbo’s strike obviously over.

“Can we go now?’ muttered Moses through gritted teeth, himself and his
followers almost overcome by the stench of the freshly disturbed and
rotting mess.
‘No worries!’ chuckled the head sanitation man, indicating the gap in
the garbage,  “Ite, cibum est super.’

This is what “Latin Grammar” looks like. Surprising more people aint got a handle on it.

This command was remembered and subsequently incorporated, with minor
alterations, into the Latin Mass.

Roughly translated it means: ‘Go, the mess is over.’


Hmmm…. In uteri I go! (popular Deniliquin vernacular)

And who is, “the splendid Andrea’? Stay tuned for tomorrows thrilling instalment, i  which we put the quid into “Quid Pro Quo”…