P.M Malcolm Turnbull demonstrating just “How Big” the innovation Boom will be, responds to questions of possible sale of CSIRO infrastructure to Sports Bet, Crown, Cash Converters, and other highly successful world-beating local businesses.
Dear reader, you’ve probably been wating for substantial evidence of the PM for ‘Ideas and Innovation’s’ Innovation Boom. Some of you may have been disappointed that as yet, the Property Council, ( Australia’s leader in innovation and resource development) have not yet delivered the sort of business model that really puts us at the forefront of innovation excellence. And some of you may still be wondering if the excellent plethora of private training colleges are really producing the skills base we need to make ourselves less reliant on mining and real estate as principle drivers of the economy. Well the good news is, that nothing’s happened yet to upset the finely tuned equilibrium of the Australian economy, and with great leaders, (George Christensen Eric Abetz, Corey Bernardii) to guide an innovative and reformist policy agenda, we know that the future of manufacturing glows very bright indeed. What a perfect opportunity then, to give you another glimpse at some of the products that almost made it to our retail shelves. And, described here for the very first time, give inspiration to the many great innovations yet to come.
Percy The Arrrogant Bastard 420×300 1972 Meccarno Toys.
The first ever “emotionally nuanced’ train set.
Meccarno Toys were frustrated by the success of competitors in the toy market who’d carved a niche for distinctive, iconic toys children loved the word over. Determined to make a break from the standard convention of toys and inspired by the Rev W Audrey series, they determined to develop individualistic personalities for the toys they developed. The first of these was ‘Percy the Arrogant Bastard” Percy was just like his stablemate Percy, the tank engine, with one exception. As either a clockwork or electric train, it would travel with a fusillade of arrogant and obtuse assertions. The pre recorded messages included such immortal phrases, as; “ outta my way you useless little squirt”, ‘call yourself Arse-Face’, and “ Pigs Arse’. Percy the Arrogant Bastard, was the first in a line of toy locomotives allied to an upcoming animated children’s series. His stable-mates included; ‘Thomas the Turd; Freddy the foul- mouthed’ and ‘Hettie the Harlot’.
After some considerable interest in the series the idea for both the toys and the T.V animation were dropped by the BBC, as unsavoury. Objecting to the depiction of the toys as all invariably white and Anglo, the board of the BBC, declared they were too closely aligned to stereotypical depictions of ordinary people and did not reflect the multicultural bounty of post war Britain. In a desperate attempt to re-sale them as ‘Luigi the Loco’, ‘Spiros the Steamer,’ and ‘Wong the Twack Wepair Wagon’ they failed to excite the public imagination. Possibly this was due to the insults being indecipherable to the mainstream as they were in native tongue.
Brewster Buffalo 420×300 1942 Stinky Toys
Australia’s first ever Stealth Fighter.
The Brewster Buffalo, then touted as 1941’s Stealth Fighter, was the “ very latest thing in forward defence and provides excellent and unquestionable value for money to the Australian taxpayer’. (Minister for Defence Hansard 1941). Sensing a national cultural icon, the Brewster, then nicknamed the “ Flying Beer Barrel, was chosen as the first in their range of odourised toys for children. It offered numerous novel features in a compact package, a true rival to the more stablished Dinky range. For starters it was manufactured in rubber, and had all the details; missing engine, jammed machine guns and collapsable undercarriage in scintillating detail. Hearing rumours of teething problems with RAAF Brewsters on active duty in Singapore the range was upgraded with ‘leaking oil’, ‘Fused generator’, and ‘hydraulic malfunction’ option which combined the odours of all three into an outstanding olfactory package.
But as war clouds gathered, rubber supplies ceased, this created material shortcomings before the devastating fall of Singapore. Sensing the symbolic failure of the Brewster both in the air and as model kit form, the production cased, and the dies, re-utilised to create Australia’s very own fighter the CAC Boomerang. In the words of aeronautical Designer Fred David ‘A design though flawed, that truly did come back’.