Climate Change V The Space Race

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Dear reader,

If only the Australian PM was as much fun. Then we wouldn’t need to worry about franking credits!!

Every now and again we receive something that is EPOCH MAKING from an unexpected quarter.
This from our esteemed colleague of the near north. Who writes to us breathlessly…..
“The Dublin Branch of the All Ireland ‘Fight Global Warming Campaign’ has come up with a novel and entirely original answer to the already overheated question of the global warming dilemma.
In the Dublin Institute’s view it is entirely possible that if enough people were to gather in one particular spot on this blessed earth a great deal might be achieved.

The theory is that if these same people, a group of at least two million strong, if these people, in one great co-ordinated movement, might be persuaded, in the first instance, to literally, stand on their heads, then this would achieve the first of the Dublin Institute’s goals. Naturally apparatus of varying strengths and complexities would be required to assist in achieving this and to eliminate the possibility of individuals toppling over at a critical time in the proceedings.

Dear reader, after extensive research at the Fukuwaki Institute of early rocket development it has come to our attention that this technique of propulsion may have been tested during the Meiji Era.

The Institute has it that, assuming the foregoing be achieved, then, on a given signal, if all two million involved were to break wind simultaneously,sufficient propulsive power might be achieved to drive our planet  far enough from the Sun as to greatly lessen the effects of global warming.

Used strictly as a combat and defensive manoeuvre by Samurai warriors, projected and controlled emissions proved deadly in combat. If only these techniques had been employed on a global scale to protect us from the terror of global warming. (I. Asimov Interplanetary papers)

This course, of course assumes Kepler was right and we do in fact, journey round our Sun. Should it prove otherwise, and the course of the stars prove to be in the Vatican’s favour, then we will, every last man jack of us, in very short order, be burnt to a crisp.

That’s all folks! And don’t forget! You read it here first’!

More significant (even) than those who stand by the greatest P.M Britain may yet get…EVER!

Gerry Hat-Trick,
The Swine of Sweeney Court,
2 Much Swiving,
Off 2 Ewer Place,
Great Porking Yew Tree,
Much Humping in the Flat,
Nr. KnackArt.
and then , this…… ANOTHER Critical and EPOCH Making Discovery!
Fro that essayist from the  north east comes this fragment of PURE GENIUS!
He writes…

Mediaeval etching attributed to Cranach the Elder depicting choirboys cauterising papal bull.

‘And, if insufficient thrust is generated by this coordinated flatus, we still have the option of boosting it by igniting the vented gases.

Altar boys, with proven skills in igniting candles with long tapers could easily set off the necessary propulsion in an orderly way.

Several of their number mght then be employed to swing thuribles or censers of glowing church incense to counteract the offensive effluvium generated by all the hydrogen sulfide and methane.  Not to mention minimising the danger of an explosive conflagration’!

Sir Atney

Pease celebrate with us this Explosion of technical know-how and derring do by watching this informative documentary with commentary and moving pictures by our favourite rocket scientist. Dr Werner himself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXIDFx74aSY