Dear reader, it has recently come to our attention that some loose and unsubstantiated commentary has been recently been made on this blog in regards to the Federal Minster for Education, The Rt. Hon. Christopher Pyne. In hindsight some of that commentary has been uncharitable. Indeed references to his extensive and exotic collection of formal costumes and fancy dress have been based on ill founded rumour, and as such not worthy of the standards we try to keep in this blog. We endeavor at all times to maintain an open and unbiased conversation in this regard, and deplore any devaluation of those committed to public service and service to the Commonwealth. Also, (and this is terribly important), we’d like to make the observation than an autobiography commissioned during the life of current and serving Minister would not be self serving, tendentious and valueless. Rather it would cast an important insight into trenchant values that shape the manifest destiny of modern politics and a vision for all Australians.

Christopher Pyne encouraging more women in Parliament

Wisdom x 3. Senator Bishops costume jewellery generously donated By the Minister for Education . The Rt. Hon. Christopher Pyne. M.P

Nevertheless, the recent publication of Mr Pyne’s biography, under the urgent behest of none other than Louise Adler, the most ambitious editor in chief of the formerly scholarly Melbourne University Press is a matter of some public interest. Mr Pyne has long been an exemplar of women’s’ rights, he has four children, and knows how important it is to ensure that hearth and home is gender neutral. Though he may be the sole breadwinner, and reflects a convention once popular in the 1950’s we cannot blame him for doing his utmost in sacrifice and at great personal cost to be away from his family for three quarters of the year. So also did Lord Nelson, to Lady Emma, Napoleon, when not en route to Moscow, and presumably Augustus and Trajan, when dealing with those pesky Britons and Goths. As Tacitus put it; ‘Absence makes the Empire grow Stronger’. Presumably Mr Pyne’s fierce advocacy for greater representation in Parliament has nothing to do with Labors’ mandated 50% quota system.

Mr Pyne knows an awful lot about women in Parliament. And indeed with such exemplars as Bronwyn Bishop and the soon to be returned Sophie Mirabella, he knows that good representation in Parliament is about women who look like REAL women. Lots of lippy, a twin set, a string of pearls and a sense of ambition. You see that’s the problem with a lot of women in Parliament these days, they have no sense of dress, and consequently lack  ambition. Look at Julia, she had the top job, and relinquished it to that little squib Rudd. And Tony Abbott, he adores women, has three lovely daughters and an adoring wife, and knows that as a husband and father he’s there to protect them. There’s nothing mysoginistic about that. It’s just that he knows what’s good for them, and that demonstrates a caring sense of values. He also knows that women, although they can’t help it, are descended from Eve, who bought us (men) into disgrace by forcing the apple on us and ever since we’ve been full of sin and shall rot in hell and use women as receptacles for a our mission to cultivate and civilise the earth. And though they try, their falsehood can never ever be redeemed, and that’s why the front bench is all beyond middle age, male and catholic. Well that’s at least what Senator Corey Bernardii, (author of another excellent autobiography) told me. And there aint any other women who could do the job in the front bench beyond Julie, Sophie and Susan, because they’re not like real women anyway. Well not angry one like those in the Labor ranks. Those like Julia, who don’t know their place, and will only grudgingly bow to the wisdom of blokes like us.

Sophie and Friends. Real Women in Politics.

But Christopher has sensed the “Zeitgeist”*. There’s gotta be something done about women in Parliament, and violence about women is shocking, deeply shocking also. I suppose it depends upon your value system and the way society views women, That’s why Christopher is determined to change things because ultimately he knows best. Always treated Julia, “that ideologically childless, irreligious, proxy” with respect on the floor of Parliament.

And he’s told us why?

He’s a fixer!!

* Normally we wouldnt use such an affected term, but The Federal Mnister for the Arts. Mr. George Brandis, is rather fond of it.