The New AUK-WARD Treaty Sub bases will be safe from flooding or tidal surges. Artists impression of planned Sub base for BROKEN HILL. Similar to that designed for ALBURY and ALICE SPRINGS, (a designated Dry Area)
Dear reader,
we return to our saga.
With no end in sight of sub-jokes we must just push on and hope that the sub-text is not sub-merged by sub-liminal messaging and Sub-versive sub- paragraphs.
As you may remember from our last thrilling instalment, no sooner had Sophie been released than she managed by dint of her pure survival instinct to displace the priestess and become the top dog (so to speak) of this primitive tribe of Savage BEASTS!
The very same beasts who intended to have our trio, Ces, Quent and Terry for dinner.
A short reprieve ensued, just like the pause following the AUK-WARD Subs Treaty announcement, before the old Sophie, the indefatigable, indomitable and impetuous Sophie reasserted herself and in no time at all directed her anger to our trio. Will the new Sophie be more fair-minded Sophie than her look- alike Native Priestess? At this stage it seems unlikely. For hell have no fury than an unleashed Sophie.
Editor recommends Prince Harry’s noble Auto-Biography. Ghost written for easier digestion.
We return to our account and suggest for the frail, the weak minded and those who are nervous about the consumption of body parts, you skip this instalment and read a copy of Prince Harry’s excellent (and recently authenticated by HRH Prince Andrew), memoir, ‘Waaaah’.
‘I dunno, this looks like trouble’.
Neo Nazis are all aboard on the AUK-WARD TREATY SUBS!
With the fire burning brightly, the silhouette of the cauldron dark and imposing. We watched in fearful anticipation as we witnessed the steam rising off the top of the cauldron and a huge spoon being agitated by an enormous native with a self-styled chefs cap. The feet of the former priestess stuck unobtrusively out the top, and we knew that the new Priestess, our very own Sophie would waste no time. Time wasting was alien to Sophie. Sophie lived of the exercise of raw and undiluted power, and these natives would be her first step, her first cohort which would be used to establish herself as a supreme being and provide another challenge to the World Order. But we had no idea, as an exalted Fair Work Commissioner, she would be as a good as her word and get down to the business of POWER in seconds flat.
RAN Trialing New AUK-WARD PACT Submarine Recruiting poster.
‘I don’t like the look of this’, said Ces. ‘And’, (Ces paused as he mulled over any means of escape) ‘they’re getting closer. Nor I’, Terry spluttered as he handed them all another Camel and they donkey rooted them into furious combustion. Ces, who had been asked to ‘Do Something’, mulled quietly. The menacing throng got closer. With our Sophie at the forefront making the most fearsome and guttural cries, with menacing and suggestive use of the knife. She gave a gigantic leap, extraordinary for such a dollop like person.
(we the editors would like to apologise for this inadvertent body shaming phrase, but in order to accurately convey the stature and physiognomy of our principal characters feel it is necessary to maintain the gravitas and verisimilitude of real events taking place to the north of Australia’s undefended and unprotected shores)
The Duke of Windsor discovered that the Fascist Salute was ‘POPULARITY GOLD’!
Sophie and her vicious, unhinged, uncivilised, horde gained the ground between the cauldron and the Rotodyne. Until the crowd gathered as in a ring, closer and closer until we could once again, see the naked fury of cannibals. Of individuals ‘ barely-human’ unrestrained by any civilised notion of grace nor compassion. The fearsome savagery of faces consumed by bloodlust and anger splayed in front of us through the opalescent and somewhat begrimed Perspex windscreen.
Childrens book giving instruction on the ‘Correct and Incorrect use of Salute’
‘Do something Ces… Fer Chrissakes Do something’!.
The ‘Correct” salute.
Minutes later, the crowd could no longer be stemmed. As in an anti-vax lockdown protest or more recently, a far right assemblage of looneys at an LGBT I Trans X Mutant, sub mutant, extra-terrestrial alien, Cyborg, Non-Cyborg AI Identity pronoun discussion paper meeting, could the braying for blood, for ‘retribution’, for ‘relevance’, for ‘Copy’, be stemmed no longer. The Perspex shattered in a convulsive explosion as several assegais and knockberries pulverised the thin aluminium exoskeleton of the hapless Rotodyne. In a great tidal surge of pure evil, led by Sophie, Now Evil and vengeful priestess as well as an exalted Fair Work Commissioner they gained access through the pulverised wreckage and descended upon the fuselage with unrestrained fury! Their screams maddeningly shrill and their faces! Such countenances as Brueghel or Hieronymus Bosch might contrive were beyond ghastly, hideous, and contorted with animal fury and unhinged blood lust. This was the end. The end of everything. Worse than ‘Ukraine’, worse than ‘the Uighurs’, worse than ‘The Intervention’, because in their fury they’; ‘The Savages’ had eschewed a ‘rules-based world order’ to do terrible things.
HRH Princess Elizabeth demonstrates her Germanic ancestry.
But as they filled the fuselage, tearing, ripping, shrieking and smashing they realised, that their prey had flown. The Rotodyne was empty. Somehow by some artifice of desperation, the trio had escaped the trap. And somewhere beyond the shimmering cauldron and the fiery flames, they were stumbling, blundering, crawling and running to ensure that by morning sufficient distance lay between them and the savage host, which just might give them a chance.
Who’s chance? Buckleys? Or the chance of betting agencies voluntarily endorsing a code of conduct? Whatever the chance, we know only one thing. ‘That Hope springs eternal for those who are not entirely hopeless’, and as famously said by a very famous individual of whom we’ve forgotten. ‘At the end of the day, there’s always tomorrow’.
Country folk, (in Sth Australia) often have ‘ Quaint’ notions on ‘how things should be done’.
VIC POLICE. NO FASCISM HERE!!
and there’s always a silver lining….if you’re in the banking industry.