Kev. Demonstrates his worth to a global audience.
Cacafonix. Desperate to be heard. No one will listen.
Kev. Such is the power of word association. It’s only three letters, but you know in an instant who we’re talking bout. For Australians it’s synonymous with the man who blinked on the ‘greatest moral obligation of our time’. At that moment, faster than you can say DEB, (another famous three letter word associated with dehydrated potato flakes) the Kev as a currency was devalued. And as Kev talked and talked and talked we wished like the famous bard Cacafonix of Asterix fame that he’d shut up. Or just go away. Which gets to the point of the matter. What do you do with a politician whose passed their used by date?
Boris. The Gold Standard of British Comedy.
Theresa May (the current British P.M) deserves a gong for sending Boris in as the Foreign Secretary. It indicates so much about the British character and will provide much amusement the world over. Boris is funny. Boris likes to talk, and Boris is famous for making amusing disparaging comments about other world leaders. It has the press corps in stitches, and no one could have believed that in a very short space he would transform himself from dedicated Brexiter, wag, wide-boy, to foreign minister. It demonstrates once and for all the redemption of politics, and the fact that in this realm you don’t have to be a success by any standard definition. But ultimately, no one hates Boris. Some in his party mightn’t like him, and foreigners may be irritated by him, but he’s too amusing to be hated. And because we know he can’t take the job seriously, no one could be truly offended by his ambivalence. His capacity for self deprecation is a protection from stinking hubris. He lacks all those unfortunate manifestations of a politician who wants to be heard, who needs to be in office, and is desperate, like a bad artist, to establish an enduring legacy of self.
Deb and Kev. Not that dissimilar. Though Deb is truly continental.
Which gets us back to Kev. We know Kev. Peel away the facade, and there’s an insecure little boy with a very large chip on each shoulder. Or in plain terms, another ambitious Queenslander. It’s just not funny having Kev as Secretary General of the United Nations. Look around. The U.N, can’t really be considered a success. It’s up there with the League of Nations. Humans, are just too self interested to get it together and save the world. And after the so called ‘good guys’ ganged up on a few tin-pot dictators in the middle east, its all turned to shit. There’ll never be a war crimes trial for George, Tony and John, which is symbolic enough that the U.N don’t work. Kofi Annan, was by all accounts a nice bloke, and Ban Kyi, seems to be reasonable, Both will leave in frustration. You can’t say they didn’t try. But Kev? It’s just not funny.
Will he have a 2/20 summit? Probably. Will he talk a lot? Most assuredly?. Will he piss the Chinese off? Most probably. And will he actually listen to the 190 odd national representatives? I don’t think so. He’ll do as he did as P.M, consult himself, and by a process of hubristic isolation negate any good that may have been. And ultimately, (this is the most important part), wont be funny.
Kev was never funny. That’s a global tragedy.
It may be a boon for comedians though.
And that’s what the U.N, sorely needs.
A message of hope