Dear reader,

as a crisis looms in the domestic housing market, builder’s go broke and the Saints ride gloriously over the top of the Dons in last week’s footy, (brought to you by Sports bet, 24/7, BET 365 and the makers of gaming machines to crown and accredited welfare agencies) comes the exciting news that ‘Benny Boy’ Roberts Smith has emerged from the jungle just in the nick of time. Is his appearance an omen? That the sacred winner of the VC may yet save our trio from the tom toms, and a an la carte appointment with Sophie, now queen of a tribe of less than noble savages?

Or is it just another twist, more twister than whoever knew, said, poked, prodded and plausibly became penetrated by Donald Trump in his rise to power as POTUS?

Hang onto your seats, suppress the urge to check the odds-on which way this narrative will go, and take heart in the fact that as Rome burns, shares in fireworks may hit the roof. Global warming?

Who gives a fire- cracker as in the end no one really cares, and Rupert has just dissed his latest girlfriend. If its trouble for Rupert, you can rest assured more trouble is coming.  A tsunami of trouble is coming our way, and whichever way you look at it, it’s not going to be nice.

‘Nice’? Yes, indeed nice people don’t do politics.

That’s why Sophie is on the bench of the Fair Work Commission, as she was too nice for politics, and Benny boy Roberts Smith is out there protecting ‘Australian values‘. A fair go, and the right to roll a WOP off a hill.

Will Zachary Rolfe join forces with Benny now he’s officially not a member of the NT Police? Or is there a career for him on politics?  The Liberals both federally and across the Federation need LEADERSHIP! And Zach has all the credentials.  As a matter of fact, he’s so credentialled even the army won’t have him, but he’d be a shoe-in for ASIO where his no-nonsense approach would deal with would-be aggressors who have a predilection for Streamed fried rice, no 14, No 12, and No 3 on the menu. This and other telling indicators will not be answered in this instalment but, left hanging, hanging in the balance, you, dear reader must decide.

In this episode,

Hanging by a FRED, or Dangling in the DARK.

‘Jeez, Benny what the eff are youse doin here in the remote mountains of New Guinea? And are you alone?

Just then, a pale and pasty figure, dressed in black, wearing a Marxist beret as worn by Che Guevara walked from under the corner of the shadow, coughed, stumbled, and raised eyes that hadn’t seen sunlight in years and said, ‘I also seek VENGEANCE’!

Vengeance? Ces remarked upon who?

Upon she who must be obeyed, Julian put a withered finger in the air, Where I hear the tom tons, I know she to be, and…

 

Just then, Benny boy beckoned them SILENCE! And they all stood stock still and listened. To alleviate the tension Terry, miraculously proffered from his rucksack another packet of Camels and the trio and their two ne’r do well companions lit up. Pushing bluish smoke rings and wispish tendrils into the dim light of evening as seen through the iris of the pit they had fallen into, now several hundred meters above them. And sure enough the tom toms had stilled,

Benny Boy tensed, and fingered the bandolier of his AK47, and wiped the surface of the string of grenades tied in a belt around his waist.  His RPG strapped to his back, and several Claymores, Anti-tank mines and the aged .303 kept as a keepsake from the GLORIOUS SONS And DAUGHTERS of ANZAC light and sound display to be opened in the newly commissioned 2.5 billion, AWKWARD TREATY ANNEXE at the AWM.

‘Shhhh’, he commanded, and we all stood stock still.  Even Julian, who was more sickly than usual let out a slight catarrhal wheeze and strained in the night air. And surely enough, the steady beat of a rotor.

Ces looked upwards, ‘it’s a helicopter, if we can get out of this we’re saved’?

‘Saved’?  Benny Boy laughed sarcastically, ‘SAVED FROM WHAT’?

‘By Sophies murderous horde, and the threat of being eaten alive. Or worse’?

‘What makes you think that’s a friendly helicopter’?

Benny boy was in his element, you had to hand it to him as a celebrated and certified VC winner. He was on top of his game. He beckoned us to lie down, which we did, and raising his grenade launcher skyward he waited till the helicopter drew over the lip of the crevasse, and sure enough, it did. A searchlight beamed down upon them, and without waiting to see if it were friend or foe, Benny Boy pulled the trigger and with a resounding whoosh, the projectile sped on its deadly course.

Will the chopper get the chop?

Will destiny rain down upon them?

Who’s Destiny?

Could it get any stormier?

Who is Stormy Daniels anyway?

Find out in our next explosive episode; ‘When The chopper gets chopped’, or ‘Five chops and several sausages makes for a bush picnic’!