by Anthony Eames
Punters and Patriots

While most Australians eventually tired of John Howard’s stodgy conservatism, the fact is that he knew better than to wander too far away from the values and instincts of Middle Australia.  That’s how he kept power for 13 years.

Lately, however, we have seen a flurry of evidence that no such prudence is guiding Downton Abbott and his acolytes – and even John Howard is disconcerted, irrespective of having not received a knighthood!  Repudiating the moderate, centrist values of traditional Liberalism, the new team is enthusiastically trying to reshape Australia into a Tea Party dream come true.

Try this sampling I have pulled together…

GEORGE IS THEIR MAN!

George (‘It’s OK to be a Bigot’) Brandis has just redefined ‘East Jerusalem’ so that it is no longer to be termed in Australian diplomatic language an ‘occupied territory’.  With this, the Australian Government has moved to an even stronger committment to the idea of a Greater Israel than Washington (or even several Israeli political parties) would ever declare.

YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE WHO’S THE NON-FICTION JUDGE!

The very same George Brandis has just announced the new chairman of the judging panel for the 2014 Prime Minister’s Prize for Non-Fiction.  Guess who?  None other than that towering public intellectual and independent-minded literary arbiter, Gerald (‘Yap! Yap!’) Henderson.  Neocongratulations, Gerry!   See http://www.smh.com.au/comment/-zry3u.html  (See also Basic Literature pcbycp 9 June)

TURNING THE BULL INTO THE PADDOCK

The Liberal’s secretive Lunar Faction, it is said, sooled the radio right-ranters onto Turnbulll with the aim of having Malcolm shuffled off the front bench.  This may unfold shortly, with rumours that Downton Abbott is planning a reshuffle.  Moving Turnbull into irrelevancy will clear away the last remaining reason why any moderate voter would vote Liberal.  Wing-Nuts Rule, OK!

WOULD THE LAST SCIENTIST LEAVING THE LAB…

Despite pleas from across the scientific and academic communities, there will be no lessening in the $140 million cut to the budget of Australia’s research flagship, the CSIRO.  Having seen its funding whittled away, year by year, since Howard’s time, this internationally-respected body has now had to mothball indefinitely the Parkes Radio Telescope (one of the largest such instruments in the Southern Hemisphere, it provided a vital link during the Apollo Moon Program).  Now we know why Abbott decided we no longer need a Minister of Science: we’re exporting our scientists!

NOW HIRING: BIBLE-BASHERS

Meanwhile, the $240 million School Chaplaincy Program maintains its budget intact without having to line up with the rest of us for a share-the-pain wallop of the Hockeystick.  Indeed, there is currently a vigorous recruitment drive for Christian scripture peddlars.   However, useful economies have been achieved by sacking all non-religious counsellors!  At the taxpayers’ expense, our kids either learn late-Bronze Age Jehovah myths… or sit in an empty room.  THAT’S how you create a Clever Country!

THE WORD IS OUT…

Finally, disquieting proof that we Australians are not the only people to be amazed at the Mad Monk’s ineptitude.  Look what was run on a top-rating American show!  How embarrassment….