Men of principle, a proud Liberal tradition
Dear reader, with a plot-line more implausible than the recently removed Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s justification for lying repeatedly and without remission to the Australian public comes this next instalment. And with bated breath we say it, even the Governor General is powerless to stop it!
Like Glacial melting, like Vladimir’s vision of a Russian Empire, like Donald’s desire to make America Grate again, there is a momentum at work, and its Un-lstoppable.
Can our heroes thwart the insidious and nefarious plot by the biggest crime family of them all, Windsor Inc and save Australia? Whilst enemies’ rail at the from all sides there is still a fragment of hope. But with ingots now in their possession each stamped with the royal emblem of HRH The Prince of Wales they know now that there’s a price on their head. And a price even a Saudi oil sheik can’t afford to pay. The oil wells may be drying up. The well of discontent may be worse than lonely, but for our heroes, the well aint very well at all. Is this a harbinger of things to come? Or just another twist in the tale? Find out in this next enthralling instalment and ponder the undisputed forgotten people who just happen to be Governors General.
The GG measures integrity by the square metre, the kilogram and the gold ingot
‘Is the GG being truthful about the secret ministries, or is he in cahoots with the Windsor’s’?
Terry made the remark whilst passing us round another Camel, and we puffed on it as we surveyed in the moonlight the cache of Gold Ingots. On each one, the stamp ‘Reinhart prospecting’, and the three plumed escutcheon of His Royal Highness ‘The Prince of Wales’. In simple terms we had the loot in the boot.
Prince Charles to Sheik; ” Lookee here sheikey- boy, the first installment will guarantee you a peerage, A second installment say 50 ingots a seat at my table. It’s round table see and operates only at knights’.
‘Jeez Ces’, Quent postulated thoughtfully; ‘this gold could either be a good thing or a bad thing! I mean whichever way you look at it, it’s our get out of jail free card, and all we have to do is melt back into our old normal life and no one will be the wiser’. Which prompted the next question. ‘But how can we convert it to cash? Will melting the gold be enough? Wont it be a bit suspicious buying a litre of milk and a loaf of bread by putting down a gold ingot and asking for change. And with the Rinehart and HRH logo’s wont we raise a suspicion that this may not be a valid version of the cashless welfare card? We might have to explain, and if the authorities get wind of it, they’ll want as in John Barilaro’s case, they’ll want a piece of the action! You mean, Quent toyed with the logic; ‘he might make us return the bars to Gina and Prince Charles’?
‘Nah, don’t be fucken stupid, Barra like Tudgey and his mates will be in on it and want the lot, that’s the way politics works. Finders keepers and all that bullshit! As Scomo, says,’ as long as the public doesn’t know that’s all that counts’.
We all nodded in agreement, whatever worked for Scomo was in Scomo’s interests, and for most of the time his mates were happy to go along with it. Ces continued with his insightful dissertation on what made our former PM so resolute.
‘Scomo was a big picture man in that way, he thought like a very little person indeed. And most of the time in Australian politics, the smaller the big picture the better reward at the electoral box’.
Terry offered us all another camel and we stood by the ute tray puffing like imbeciles just staring at all those gold ingots. ‘Do ya think the Prince of Wales will be grateful is we hand it in? Nup, he’d just get us slotted, those royals don’t like been made foolish, look what they did to Diana, look what they did to Prince Andrew, and look what they did to Rolf Harris’.
A silence ensued as we realised the royal hand knew no bounds, Its reach, irrepressible.
The Three plumes logo, a certified Cayman islands brand.
‘Whatterewegunnado then’?
They puffed on their camels and stared at the ingots, each one either a death sentence or a dictate. Quent savoured the irony; ‘bit like Benny boys old motto from the SAS who dares wins’. Terry chipped in, ‘who wins grins’! Or said Ces enthusiastically,’ who does doesn’t’, or he paused as he collected his thoughts, ‘howsabout who dun did’?
The three thought about this play on words and relished the existential crisis.
‘Either way we’re either buggered or bugged’. Just to make sure Ces picked up one of the ingots and said phlegmatically, ‘ better make sure they’re not bugged, remember ‘No country for old men’? And recoiling at the thought we realised that Windsor inc would stop at nothing, not even Maralinga would stay their hand, we were on the run, and just had to keep running. From the west Gina and her cronies, from the east the evil empire of China and Sophie, and for the south, well anything can happen. How much have we got Ces queried, I dunno, Terry replied, possibly five or ten million worth, I reckon that’s the going rate for peerages, is it short, our time here, who can tell,. We’ll just have to wait and see, but time is a tricking,
Sir Rolf also got an OBE, for services to “touching the hearts and minds”
They all looked at their watches, just to check if they were still ticking, satisfied, they pulled out another camel and meditatively smoked whilst looking wide eyed at the loot in the boot.
After a while Ces said; ‘boys I think I’ve got an idea’
What idea has Ces got? Is it a better one than turning five ministries into one, or parachuting mates and cronies onto high salaried sinecures in the AAT? Or something worser? Find out in our next episode, ‘A royal warrant, aint a royal warranty’, or, ‘If five mill gets you a peerage, what would a V.C traded on the open market get you’?