Matt Canavan, (Minister for black-face) demonstrates Nuclear carbon capture and storage barbecue facility at Maralinga
Dear reader,
we leave off where we left off before we left off the last time. In truth we had gone nowhere. if you think this narrative is reflective of the Federal Government’s leadership on carbon and climate change your wouldn’t be far off the point. Cept, this is fact! The words and events used here describe a critical nexus more significant than nuclear submarines in the dynamic of Australia and its race to assure a place in pan-global strategy. Whereas the Federal Government’s deliberation on climate and coal are pure fiction. For (dear reader) as you doubtlessly already know, no-one in politics really believe’s in climate change, they believe in big coal, big lobbyists, a big investment property portfolio and big NUCLEAR!
As Member for Indi Sophie could kill people just by looking at them.
And foremost among them is the most unelectable former pollie in the pack the former Member for Indi Sophie Mirabella, now an active member of the Fair Work Commission. And Sophie, in our quest to find out who so basely defiled out tea-lady is bound, and gagged, trussed up as our prisoner beneath the sandy wastes of Maralinga. And in this tomb our three heroes, Ces Quent, and Australia’s most decorated soldier ‘EVER’ Benny-Boy Roberts Smith find themselves surrounded by pommy nukes left over from the golden era. A golden age that promised Nuclear warfare, Qualcast mowers and Sunbeam ‘little wonder junior’ portable shearing machines, that worked with their certifiable warranty period quite often, or more than not… under the correct maintenance regime provided specific and relevant local climatic conditions were observed. …..
Former Attorney General demonstrates the intircate paperwork, IOU’s, promissory notes and betting slips from Crown, that go into a BLIND TRUST!
Can Sophie’s captivity bring this golden age back, or will it be nuanced with more clean coal and other imaginative alchemic dreams from the Federal Government? Bereft of the stain of imagination who can tell? And if they could, like Christian’s blind-trust donors, you the public aint meant to know anyway.
More dangerous than a prop gun in a b grade western, things may yet still go off, but until it does there’s an off language warning as the trio prepare to un- gag, Sophie. Will her ungagging be their undoing? A gafe or a catastrophe awaits, read on if you dare, at your own peril. Because it seems the only way up is gonna be down down down…
‘Well then’, benny’s booming voice filled the cavernous void, whatcha gonna do about it, do we untie her right now? or, roll her down some corridor and hope she tells us where the exit is’?
‘I dunno, she might have another trick up her sleeve, she might have a remote or get another nuke ticking, in which case we’d all be blown to smithereens anyway’.
Deputy PM endorses China’s coal policy and the right to back winners in the nuclear industry
No it shouldn’t be like that, though she is unelectable, a sociopath and a compulsive liar, she is after all a member of the Fair Work Commission, and though shed slotted us for a quick death, she maybe didn’t quite understand our case, and now we’ve explained out mission, she may be more conciliatory’?
We looked at the writhing ball of aggression as every now and then a well aimed stiletto would try and kick one of us in the shins, and the gag suppressed barely the muffled invective, coarse, vulgar and well trained. An un- stoppable force, and yet, in all the hideousness we felt pity. Pity that a human could be so debased by the lustful and iniquitous influence of greed, naked ambition and rat cunning.
Minister for Nuclear proliferation endorses the Coalition’s climate policy
But was rat cunning enough? And would Sophie rat on our three heroes once let loose? Being a rat wont hold you back in the feelthy game of politics, but it may not get you re-elected unless you’ve got a white board and a regional slush fund? Or make a home for clay pigeons from Wagga Wagga?
Wogs or not, we’re all outta work if we don’t get out of this mess. And you’ll only find out in our next rodentious episode. ‘Is that a rat with a gold tooth or just Bill Papas from Forum financing”, or “Daryl Maguire wasn’t shooting blanks the day he passed the rifle to Alec Baldwin’. Black is as black as night and that aint black enough in a non carboniferous future. When all the world will wear hemp and carbon fibre, To the node? Or up another cavity?
Homeless man endorses fed’s climate policy, low wages for film crew and gun buy-back scheme.
Stay tuned… for this is fact, the feds climate policy is pure fiction, and only you the reader can tell em apart.