Matg Canavan M.P. The very best politician the coal lobby can buy.

Did you know dear reader that Australia’s answer to rising greenhouse gas emissions, (which some 98% of scientists, suggest is a consequence of burning fossil fuels and contributing to the greenhouse effect thus killing off life as we know it in the biosphere) is to build more coal fired power stations? And though the trajectory of renewables, seen the world over, (except in the U.S) as an inevitable and good thing to transform economies, save ecologies and make for a carbon neutral future seems inevitable, we are told that by increasing our use of coal, (the principal contributor to these gases) can only be a good thing.

Someone has crunched the numbers and determined that more coal burning power stations would be an absolute disaster and cost the tax payer some 60 and upward billions of dollars.. To go renewable would be way way cheaper and better for humanity in the long run. But the alternate facts, as proffered by Messrs, Frydenberg and Canavan, the best politicians the coal lobby can buy is to say; ‘burn more coal, and fuck humanity’.

That is an indisputable ‘alternate fact’.

Spose you can’t fool all the people all of the time.

Apparently, an ‘alternate fact’ runs counter to any logical process of evidence, empirical scientific investigation, knowledge, and scientific rationale. It runs counter to objective observation and any other metric you want to use to measure reality.

And that’s why we at pcbycp LOVE EM!!

We can’t get enough of ‘alternate facts’. Evolution is so boring. The cosmos is just too challenging and frightening. Much rather be reassured the ‘we’ are only 6000 years old, and dinosaurs stood hand in hand with Noah, when we were punished by a merciful god, who killed every living thing so that we may be given another opportunity to do it all over again. ‘Alternate facts’ hate women, they want to see them as chattels, and with just enough self determination to choose what type of clothing they wear (provided it’s modest and demure).

The scary reality of “alternate facts”

And the best thing about ‘alternate facts’, is they describe an alternate reality in which everybody is deeply conservative, consumed by fear, hates minorities and want to go to church on a regular basis to acquit the sin of hating everybody and pray for their souls as they rot on Manaus Island, Nauru, or anywhere.

We at pcbycp are an ‘alternate fact’. The fact that we exist at all is alternate.

And you, the reading public are alternate, and should acknowledge Matt and Josh, for allowing via Rupert, from the ‘book of Murdoch’, the ‘Grand Master of ‘alternate facts’ to reconstruct a happier healthier world, in which fear is beamed into our living rooms continuously and the smallness of everything is writ large.

Soon to be on the school syllabus all around Australia. Naplan Approved.

Some have decried ‘alternate facts’ as the descent into a ‘1984’, dystopia, but we disagree. The more ‘alternate facts’ we can believe, the happier we will all be. We’re looking forward to meeting Elvis, and we know the moon-landings were all faked, and 9/11, was put up by the CIA. The Great Barrier Reef is in great shape, and Donald had the biggest turnout ever for his inauguration. Good on Em. ‘Alternate Facts’ gave us the opportunity to anoint Iraq with civilisation and do the same for Afghanistan. It’s gratifying how those people have responded, to the guiding hand of enlightenment though sadly they are Muslim and will burn in hell. The more ‘alternate facts’, the more likely we are to be led, as we were in 1914 into a glorious war for ‘alternate fact’ Civilisation. Cept we wont be clamouring“ gallant little Belgium” we’ll be hip hip hooraying ‘Waltzing Matilda’ as another generation of Anzacs, the cleanest living, most noble people on earth do battle against the forces of evil to save us from the shackles of enslavement, or the thought, (woe betide), we ever, as a species think for ourselves.