And yet they saw her passing by, and some may ask; the reason why?
Dear reader, we are often asked; “what should I wear’? when those amongst us must journey abroad. But not for them the safety of Europe. Theirs is a different journey. Into the heart of darkness. For it is the obligation of white persons to serve a tour of duty into those places they seldom see. To spread the enlightenment of incarceration, colonialism and manifest destiny.
May Singapore remind us of what happens when natives get the upper hand.
Though these tours are dangerous, we have been responsible for equipping quite a few expeditions as far north as Moree, and can vouchsafe that sensible attire is what is required to keep natives in their place. One cannot be too casual, for if discipline, self discipline is lax, the air of authority, once tarnished is lost for ever.
We suffered the humility of such a disgrace at Singapore. And one should never let it happen again. For a subject peoples are grateful peoples, and are happy in knowing their place.
Lucky the Orphans. They march gloriously to match the colour of Melania’s boots.
Therefore it is with some delight that we report on the sensible attire worn by the first lady of America in her recent foray it the dark continent.
As an envoy yes, as a representative of her people, well yes to that, but moreso as a symbol of what coloured people should emulate if they want to sit at the big table.
Permission was granted by H.M Her Majesty the Queen, on this occasion of State to use the Royal Wave. (Crown Copyright Pending)
Following in the wake of her husbands recent trip to Nambia, Kenjo and Nignogeria. Melania has instructed the people of these countries by example. Not necessarily by the power of her oratory, nor the singular vision she brings in galvanising imaginative forces unleashed by untapped human potential, but appearances.
Melania takes great stock in appearances, and the natives give her the big thumbs up.
Sensible attire for dealing with natives in the field. Australian Aid workers delivering gifts, (a blanket, bible, and length of rope) to natives in “desperate” need of civilising.
Dressed in this safari number, the epynomously named “Out of Africa” Melania presents a self assuredness that is arresting. The jodhpurs not seen in offical clothing since the 36 Olympics give the ensemble the right measure of authority without the need for fully formed jackboots. Nor lightning flashes, though that would help in ensuring a sensible space between the leader and the subject peoples. But the piece de-resistance is the pith helmet, recognised the world over as the defining symbol of authority. White authority over lesser peoples, who happen to have skin colour.
See how cleverly Melania assists these orphan children. They yearn to be like her, and smile in their poverty. But because they are poor. They are lazy. And cannot be rich. This they must learn this value from birth. See how the gamekeeper, is hushed by her steely glaze. Witness the poise as she teaches these dark peoples the gift of a language. Language that she has eschewed for authority. Firm in her gait, in her dress, poise. And upright. See the perfection of those gym trained calves. She is a walking doctrine of contemporary values. The power of plastic surgery. The power of botox. The power of a constantly changing wardrobe to rescue those benighted peoples from the curse of poverty. By giving them the gift of ENVY and Hopelessness. So that they may STRIVE! And to know that however hard they may try, they can never be as singular, as defining as statuesque as Her. The Goddess! The Priestess! May the WHITE LIGHT pour out of HER!
Natives have an instinctive respect for those who wear the pith helmet.
As it already does, to light the dark continent in her form so that they may follow and be led. Led by mature foreign policy. That likens statesmanship to a visit to the lolly shop.
For that is the purpose of her statecraft. To be a shining white mint amongst the Licorice all-sorts.