Dear reader, if you’re still following this narrative, (Brexit- like), it still has a long way to go. 

“Bugger me dead”!, Clarrie said; “One moment I’m ready to kark it and next I’m an effing knight dubbed Sir Clarence by one of Europe’s greatest ever royal families”

Thus far we ‘ve thrilled to the brave pcbycp staff on their secret mission to tell the world about climate change at the Pacific Leaders summit.  How then, they were stuck on Tuvalu with sea levels arising all about. How they made a deal brokered by the omnipitent Sam Dastyari between the Tuvaluans and the Chinese Government. How, after landing in Australia they were  imprisoned, deported to Manaus island,  only to be re-released again on the wild and dangerous streets of Port Moresby 

A ” strong man ” now held the destiny of the Pacific in his BARE HAND!

As you remember, our final scene left Clarrie hanging onto life. With death knocking, when “out of the blue”, our Chinese surgeon friend Ka-Ching brokered a deal that put Prince Andrew on the throne as Her Majestys representative in PNG. And no  sooner than you can say “porogue parliament”, the Prince was on the job, bringing the hand of civilisation and the bonus of  Clarrie’s organs donated via  the obliging Uighurs underging re-education. 

And we also learned of how, spurned by the Australian government the New Guinean government had made the deal of a century with the Chinese who selflessly offered to build a space port, a twelve lane freeway, and a new Parliament House, bigger than the Great Wall itself. Then we learnt how we rejoiced in it all being made possible by the personal sacrifice of Prince Andrew, the intercession of Sam Dastyari and undisclosed forces. And yet, we knew that in spite of whetever we did, we were just pawns in a great global game of strategy. 

So let’s pick up where we left off, when a shadow fell across the room, as an image of Whinnie the Pooh was flourished by Ka-ching.  And the  realisation that once again,  we were in mortal danger. 

We didn’t have time to think. At that very moment a thunderous knock on the door announced someone had arrived. Once again, we knew the weight of the world rested upon our shoulders. 

The worlds destiny is in their safe hands. Prince Andrew discusses Global strategy with a friend.

Being unfamiliar with the pomp of governance, we were suprised to be greeted by none other than the beaming countenance of Prince Andrew himself. He was in his full ceremonial gear, and as he walked towards us his sword dragging across the floor. “Christ”, Clarrie, said, still groggy after having his organs replaced. “Am I dreaming”?. Clarrie took another drag on his ciggy and wiped his eyes;  “I feel like I’ve been here before”? And before he could light another Craven A the Prince bowed to him, and said with great solemnity, “Arise Sir Clarence”. And before you could say “Boris”, Clarrie ripped off is bandages, still with the drip attatched, and kneeled before him and supporting himself on the Princess lapel, he steadied hiself, with a new life and new purpose. “Bugger me dead”!, Clarrie said; “One moment I’m ready to kark it and next I’m an effing knight dubbed Sir Clarence by one of Europes greatest ever royal families”… And the Prince just smiled said; “I need not remind you Sir Clarence,  as it has been famously said, what goeth uppeth, must also goeth downwards, and hence uppeth again” .

The Prince, smiling, turned towards, us; “Clarence, you know we’ve been here before’. Clarrie wiped his eyes, the rollie still smouldering on the edge of this cracked and pearched lips, “This is your time” intoned the Prince with Royal Gravitas

And Clarrie, pointing to the wall, without hesitation, said, calmly, “it’s  right here your Highness”! 

And the Prince with a slight motion of his index finger, said, 

“The privelege is yours Sir Clarence”, 

Welcomed as a Demi-God by the natives

And with an agility belied by his ninety odd years Clarrie with a dexterity of grace, more precise than a Public Safety Officer ejecting a passenger on a Castlemaine train to  condemn that individual to a miserable death, prised the block from its lithic embrace… 

And there. In a dark crevice, left undisturbed for ages, rested a small box. 

“Open it”! Commanded the Prince. 

And Clarrie gently, and sensitively, released the catch.

And Opened it. 

What is inside the Box?

Did it belong to Pandora?

Will all of it glisten?

Stay tuned for our next impactful episode, tomorrow?

Bit till now, endure the suspense as you await the next spine tingling installment;

“Sir Clarence and the Casket”

“Or Prince Andrew’s other Royal Box” 

And with an agility belied by his ninety odd years Clarrie with a dexterity of grace, more precise than a Public Safety Officer ejecting a passenger on a Castlemaine train to  condemn that individual to a miserable death, prised the block from its lithic embrace…

Brought to you in vivid technicolour on PCBYCP.