Strategic Defence perimeter up North. Wavey Lines indicate influence of Gravity Waves, (Op Cit, PCbyCP).

Don’t be depressed, we at the Passive Complicity Institute have developed a plan.  And where from and who for, you may ask? By our friends in the Russian Government.

Very grainy photograph taken by ASIO agent in Siberia, captures massive scale of the Molotov-Beria

The options were simple, none of this shilly-shallying, with “ My submarine is bigger than yours”, we’ve gone straight to the people who know how to defend impossibly large frontiers, and have, unlike all the rest, a proven 100 percent success rate in coming out on top (except in Afghanistan, where everyone loses, ED). The russians have kept it under wraps for seventy years, but in an act of Russo-Australian solidarity they’ve released to us their plans for the Beria- Molotov super bomber. This is total stealth technology, cheap to manufacture, and attendant on what remains of australian manufacturing expertise, entirely do- able.

Molotov-Beria taxiing. The fully laden aircraft requires the entire Lake Eyre basin for takeoff

This bomber can swarm in waves it can be built by any tractor plant, assembled by any technical and other engineering trainees who will emerge with an actual job, and solves once and for all the problem of youth unemployment, because, it’s a bombing bomber, a biscuit bomber, a land tank and a submersible. And consequently it must be crewed by hundreds of young, enthusiastic, non thinking trainees

Unveiled in the soon to be defunct holden assembly plant at Elisabeth S.A by the Minister for Industry and Innovation Christopher Pyne, before a speech by the president of the Russian Federation Mr Vladimir Putin, the Minister beamed; ‘this is a first for our two countries. We now have a stealth, attack, and submersible capability, the first ever three in one’.

Crew standing ready to board wheel housing. Each wheel housing can accomodate up to fifty fully armed soldiers. Or the equivalent of eighty five Border Force trainees.

Mr Valdimir Putin, bare-chested, cept an order of Lenin, pinned to his right nipple was more succinct. ‘‘Now you Australia, be kleptocracy like us. You governed by 1 percent, like us. You population, fear change, and innovation, like us, You primitive ignorant people, like us, you fear the outside world, like us. In tribute you be most like us we gift you the Beria-Molotov’. Standing on a covered dais in the the plant, to a raucous rendition of Alexander Nevsky’s Victory March, (‘Alexanders’s Entry into Pskov’) a huge banner is raised revealing to the exultant ‘ooohs and aaahhs’ of the audience the future of Australian defence policy.

Beria-Molotov taking on stores, prior to liftoff.

Vladimir Putin, delighted with new strategic partnership and vey smart uniform. (generously donated by the Minister for Innovation the Rt. Hon. Christopher Pyne M.P. from his personal collection)

The Infrastructure and Innovation Minster Mr Pyne: ‘This is stealth, this is camoflague, that’s why we’ve nicknamed it the ‘Stealthy Stick Insect’, its motto, to all would-be aggressors, tyrants an potentates ‘Stick it up Ya’!! This is the only ever aircraft to combine, land, sea, air and stealth technology. In the outback it can be made to look like a very large shearing shed, of no valuable strategic or tactical relevance. In the water it can look just like an ordinary marina. And in the air, it has baffled even the experts who thought it were a brace of helicopters, an optical Ilyushin, (poor pun) a cloudbank, or a very ugly, outdated aircraft. But in all good design the principles are timeless. We’ve upgraded the drive chain with a GM V8 through a Borg Warner Transmission, and streamlined the cockpit with the glacis plate and cockpit of Velocity train, and you’ll be really impressed, the in flight turbo stabilisers, and VTOL capability boosters are all coal fired. It’s a tank, it’s a bomber, a fighter ,a cruiser, it’s a play with me and you’re a loser. It’s the spirit the evocation of two mighty nations working together, to prefect strategic outcomes, a ‘win win’ for manufacturing, (it can be built in both ply and plastic) and an absolute boon for manufactured exports.

We’re receiving interest from Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria. All places that we’ve assisted in their March to strategic defence independence. There was a momentary pause as Mr Pyne in an exctasy of pride, jumped back to the rostrum, and ladies and gentlemen, party donors and big end lobbyists, this is not the only excitement, there’ll be a whole new batch of uniforms, manufactured in china, but designed by my department’.

National anthem, and gunfire, ticker tape and “Up there Cazaly”.