HOORAY 
IRA MAINE IS BACK!!! and he writes:

“Herewith, (and following a cruel absence) a witty ditty in the Cockney manner which I hope you will find acceptable.”

The Bleedin’ Sparrer (anonymous)

We ‘ad a bleedin’ sparrer wot   (sparrow)
Lived up a bleedin’ spaht,         (spout or drain pipe)
One day the bleedin’ rain came dahn    (down)
An’washed the bleeder aht.    (out)
An’ as he layed ‘arf drahned   (half drown-ed)
Dahn in the bleedin’ street,
He begged that bleedin’ rainstorm
To bave ‘is bleedin’ feet.   (bathe)
But then the bleedin’ sun came aht-
Dried up the bleedin’ rain-
So that bleedin’ little sparrer
‘E climbed up ‘is spaht again.
But, Oh!- the crewel sparrer ‘awk
‘E spies him in his snuggery,
‘E sharpens up ‘is bleedin’ claws
And rips ‘im aht by thuggery!
Jist then a bleedin’ sportin’ type
Wot ‘ad a bleedin’ gun,
‘E spots that blessed sparrer ‘awk
And blasts ‘is bleedin’ fun.
The moral of this story
Is plain to everyone-
Them wot’s up the bleedin’ spaht
Don’t get no bleedin’ fun.