Listen up you literary types for our poetry editor Ira Maine Esq has again excelled in bringing verse that demonstrates the very superiority of our English language.
And nothing know of wines and beers.
The goat and sheep at 20 die
And never taste of Scotch or Rye.
The cow drinks water by the ton
And at 18 is mostly done.
The dog at 15 cashes in
Without the aid of rum or gin.
The cat in milk and water soaks
And then in 12 short years it croaks.
The modest, sober, bone-dry hen
Lays eggs for yonks then dies at 10.
All animals are strictly dry:
They sinless live and swiftly die;
But sinful, ginful, rum-soaked men
Survive for three score years and ten.
And some of them, a very few,
Stay pickled ’til they’re 92!
ANON.
OR
‘Twas an evening in November,
As I very well remember’
I was strolling down the street in drunken pride,
But my knees went all a flutter
And I landed in the gutter,
And a pig came up and lay down by my side.
Yes I lay there in the gutter
Thinking thoughts I could not utter,
When a colleen passing by did softly say,
” You can tell a man who boozes
By the company he chooses’
At that the pig got up and slowly walked away!
ANON