Olden days cricket broadcasters practising Wireless skills.
Dear reader, we return to our saga, our heroes no closer to finding out who defiled Mrs Culthorpe our Tea-lady, and Sophie, in spite of innumerable setbacks as indomitable as ever. Stuck with the task of trying to find pre-decimal coinage to feed the old PMG payphone, and only Ces and Quent old enough to know of its complex workings, we wait. In the gloom. Deep down. By what appears to be a railway track, going who knows where? And, ‘where will this end’? We hear you say?
Keith Miller, gentleman on and off the field proof-reads Princess Margaret’s tour itinerary
Like the PM’s Climate enthusiasm, we have no idea, as we just make it up as we go along, and that’s why we’re the truly lucky country. Led by second tier people. Because to be first tier, might result in us throwing off the mind-shackle of monarchy and all the toadying colonialist rubbish that some of those old men cling to. Perhaps they’re right? Perhaps this editorial may be wrong? Either way, the currency still has Her Majesty’s head on it, and it’s comforting to know at the very least until her sad demise, we wont have to re- purpose our currency for the arrival of ‘jug-ears’.
But all this is an aside to the peril awaiting our heroes, at a siding in the middle of know-where?
Strap yourself in and be prepared for one hell of a ride with Australia’s arguably most principled ex politician, Sophie Mirabella, as she goes right to the top to ensure that whatever happens Australia has a NUCLEAR FUTURE!!
Read on….
By this stage our clothes were a dishevelled mess, and our pockets hanging out like so many rabbits ears made us wonder why Benny had not on trained impulse slotted us with his Steyr right there and then,
In the olden days, girls copped quite a few short pitched balls on the chin……
‘Sorry Sophie we’re outta luck, hang on’… Benny exclaimed; ’I’ve got an idea, all I want youse to do is just stand back, When I say “ Now” look between the train tracks” you never know someone in the 50’s may have dropped the odd coin and after all these years it may be waiting to be found. And besides, I wanna try out this new flare I was given for use in Tarren Kwot, its said to illuminate more powerfully than a star shell, white phosphorus and White King, our first line of defence against the Mujahideen, bet you didn’t know that’!!
We were spell bound, Benny’s training had prepared him for any circumstance, and we could tell just there and then, though slotted by Sophie, we were being treated with dignity. That was at the core of the SAS credo, and hard cheese on any little Afghani who dared quastion it!
‘Stand back’! Benny took the cap off the flare, it fizzled, fuzzed, spluttered and quietly went out. ‘Bloody hell, what the’!!! He turned it over in the dim glow of his night vision head set. ‘Should’ve known, made in Australia, not a a patch on the stuff the yanks have’.
K.P and Warney, gentlemen on and off the field
‘Stop wasting time’!! And in her fury Sophie punched the phone set, and to our astonishment, she must have tricked a spring, for from the bottom of the phone an aperture disgorged a stream of shillings and florins, which went clattering onto the floor. Greedily we picked it up, “What a jackpot’ we roared. ‘Yes”! Sophie gleefully stuffing the coins into her Lurex and diamond encrusted handbag, a token from Gina, ‘its ALL MINE!!!! And, this means we’ll be outta here! Just a quick call! I have incredible influence, and the world will hold its breath’!!
Tim Paine, ( former Captain Australian X1)uses “tradesmens entry” to pack up his things and get outta cricket” for upsetting C.A’s executive image of themselves.
Standing in awed silence, we watched as she put two coins in the slot, the receiver whirred and clicked and we waited. The anticipation was palpable. Sophie was near rope-able, and we were pulped. Will our pulp be just grist to Sophies mill? find out in our next refining episode, “slotted to coin a phrase”, or ‘Toss up and be short – changed’