Soon to be screening on next seasons ” Celebrity Survivor”.
Dear reader we regret to inform you that as a consequence of this crisis, there’s been some ‘cheap shots’ directed to certain agencies which do not help us endure the lock down as a society. We are glad then, that our up to date analysis is entirely free of bias and pejorative reference to any group within society who may feel marginalised as a consequence of this unyielding, unfolding, inexorable plague. We have however noticed that the term “lock down” has acquired a new significance in the English language in as much as “Blitz”, ” Achtung Englander” , and ” For you ze war is over” became standard usage during the Second World War. Impressed by how quickly the term ” lock down” has passed into common usage as a verb, noun and adjective, we give you this update of current measures and usage of the term. Which may ultimately keep our readership informed and save LIVES!
Myers is closed for the duration
Theres been a spate of restrictions since the coronavirus ‘LOCK-DOWN’. For gay bars, saunas and physical fitness establishment the banning of gatherings has resulted in a what the street patois terms a “Cock-Down”. Similarly we have it on good authority that the popular lesbian bar, (Pussy’s Galore) has been closed as have other famous establishments, ‘the Laird’, ‘the Lewd’ and the ‘Saphic Chamber’. The spokesperson for the LGBTI Q generation X community’s lesbian resource outreach centre, Ms Radcliffe Hall, said that the ramifications of forced isolation on this vulnerable sector of the community were nigh on catastophic, describing their ‘LOCK-DOWN’ as a ‘LICK-DOWN’, she suggested dating apps in braille would need to augment and substitute for physical inactivity and prescribed repeated applications of jasmine, tapioca root and ginseng as a possible palliative.
Known and loved by us all as just “George”. As Billy Snedden was famously described he’s “back on the Job”!
Similar reports have reached us that the offices of the Catholic Diocese of Melbourne have suggested as a precaution in the confessional that a ‘LOCK- DOWN’, ‘COCK-DOWN’, ‘LICK-DOWN’ and “FROCK, JOCK and SOCK-DOWN” might be required to minimise potentially harmful interaction between the public and clergy. However they suggest that this may be only temporary for in light of the Royal Commission into Institutional Child Abuse’ and the release of George Pell, they assure us that nothing in their culture in any shape way or form will change. Nor will it ever change EVER via the ‘discredited empty vessel of public opinion as long as the canon of abusing the small, the little , the defenceless, reigns as a core principle of an eternal and just edict from ROME’. We congratulate them on their steadfastness and adherence to principle.
A rare manifestation of backbone in these times of uncertainty.
Cruise ship anyone?
From Wuhan, there is sugestions coming to us via Wechat, Tik-Tok and her sister Tok-Tik of a ‘BAT- DOWN, CAT-DOWN, FROG, DOG, and HOG – DOWN’ at the wet markets. Chinese government officials furiously deny reports on wet market cooking as a ‘CROCK and WOK-DOWN’. Perhaps more disturbingy, rumours that re-assignment of body parts and organs transplanted from the usual sources will be resticted only to party leaders. This has resulted in a blanket ‘PUT-DOWN’ that even cashed up owners of state agencies will have to look elsewhere for substitutes. We are encouraged that this latest advice shows probable alternative source countries indicated as red dots (untrialled organ host countries) allied to the Belt and Road initiative. We applaud the governments of Liberia, Bukini Faso and the Democratic Republic of Congo, who will be able to gain from this new opportunity. Disturbingly, body parts from Uighurstan have completely ceased, which suggests that (like Pangolin, Coelecanth and White Rhino), the source propulation may have declined to the point of extinction. A sad trend for body parts traders and coffin manufacturers though a source of considerable relief to the WHO who under advice accord it the same satus as Taiwan.
Still, in Australia we have room for optimism.
PM hard at it.
Though the Corona death tally is not quite as good as Singapore or Taiwan, it is still way short of the U.S. Which demonstrates that in world issues we are not a leader, but a second tier satrapcy defined by vested interests, big buinsess, rent-seeking corporations, cronyism and lazyness. And these are our STRENGTHS!
Lazyness, has protected us from coronavirus. From “LOCK DOWN to ‘SLOTH DOWN”. For the first time in Australia’s history the government edict has been, for workers; “Dont bother turning up” and this has been universally accepted. A credit to the Australian atitude of not bothering.
Dead drunk or just plain ol DEAD! “Happy hour is every hour of the day”. (Ruby Princess brochure)
Sadly though we have information to suggest that those with investments in housing, supperannuation and any asset, bonds, shares, debentures, and annuities are very worried. They should be. By saving for a rainy day, they denied Australias role as the drought capital of the globe. Serves em right, in the big shake-up that follows one principle will remain, “plus ca change plus cest la meme choses, which is Marcel Marceau’s way of saying in braille, and mime, (in French accent) “same ol same ol”.