Geraldine Gee encounters the fury of sexism.

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Geraldine Gee, Furious at sexist remarks made by footy heads.

Dear reader, it has come to our light that last week Geraldine Gee (football commentator), wife of parliamentary contender for the seat of Higgins Gerry Gee was the butt of a sustained and vicious attacks by the mainstream football commentariat. Compellingly the fracas has taken the election off the front page!

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The other contenders in the general election, described by Gee as ” just puppets”.

In a sustained rebuttal she described the President of the Littler-Little league, Mr Eddie McGhoul’s sarcastic and inappropriate remarks  about her as just another example of the systemic sexism in footy -culture.  McGhoul made particular reference to her size, and his desire, (amid sustained laughter) to push Geraldine into the Club Loo, and give her the royal flush, and then (to uproarious laughter), promise to leave Geraldine suspended thus, until she was thoroughly “cleaned-up”.

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Putative member for Higgins, silenced by his minder for making derogatory comments on the ‘other puppets’.

Asked what ‘cleaned- up” meant he replied, ‘acquire a sense of bloody humour, for chrissakes’! Mr McGhoul no stranger to good natured sexism, racism and height-ism defended his banter by suggesting, that Gerry’s half brother, the famous full forward, Darky McDark was wrong in taking offence at his King Kong joke. He still can’t see what the fuss was all about. In Eddies own words, “it was bad enough last year when I got hauled over the hot coals for making the King Kong jokes about Darkie McDark, and suggesting he fly through the ring at Ashton’s Circus. I cannot believe that my suggestion to Give Geraldine Gee the royal flush would upset anyone’.

‘For a start apart from the very obvious fact that she’s a Sheilah, she clearly can’t take a joke.

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Mr and Mrs Gee, attend the Party launch in East Kew.

My advice, it it’s too hot in the kitchen , just get out of the fire, or as we like to say, if it’s too hot in the pie warmer, don’t put the footy franks in. And besides, when Alan Macalister cracked the joke about Nicky Winmar;

‘As long as they conduct themselves like white people, well, off the field, everyone will admire and respect … As long as they conduct themselves like human beings, they will be all right. That’s the key

It went down a treat. Cos that’s what we want to let people know. When you support a mighty club like Colonwood, you’re part of a big family, and in a family you’ve gotta be honest about things and not poonce about with wishy washy definitions and political correctness. It’s a competitive sport, and if you star pooncing around with a rose up your arse, you’re not gonna make it on the field. And for Gerry to get upset about a bit of good natured fun directed at Geraldine, shows he’s not only a pansy, but he knows nothing about the game of football.

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Gerry and friends at the Littler- league extravaganza, attended by Eddie McGhoul and Spam Spewman.

And besides, she’s probably still narky she can’t get a gig on the footy show, where we’ve been towel flicking, and wedgie-ing blokes in the change-rooms for years. And when we used Geraldine as a prop for one of our practical jokes dressed in a bra and nothing else, we laughed so much our host, the love-able, Spam Spewman had to be carried off in a stretcher. And that folks is a legitimate footy injury, and did Spam cry foul? Nup he just took it straight, like a man.

That’s footy, that’s the culture we live with, and if Geraldine wants to get on her high horse and get upset she’s got no place in the change-room. If  women get this women’s league cranked up, there’s no end where it’ll end. We might even get women on the boards of footy clubs, and not just irrelevant ones like Footscray. No woman will ever get onto the head of the board of Colon-wood, cos how would they cope with the end of the year footy trip? And besides there’s no women’s loos on the charter.  After we’ve hosed the deck down after the night before, who’s gonna cry ‘woman overboard”?

That’s not sexist. It’s a statistic.

A footy fact.