Ben is a COLLOSSUS! Has a VC Tattooed to his Chest, just in case he loses his stick-on one.
We were running outta time. Australia Day was less than four days away, and bearing down on us. In that time we had to make our rendezvous with Mr Big. Demonstrate we knew nothing, and try and find a way of surviving the protection of Australia’s most decorated living V.C winner!
What will happen next? it beggars belief, but as Fox news will tell you, it’s all ireffutably TRUE!
Ben checked the signatures and then stuffed the papers into his backpack, ‘Now listen up.
‘But, but’……
Margaret Court, won the equivalent of a V.C, an A.O for promoting the Bible’s teachings to stone and kill LGBTI-trans-X and keep us pure from the taint of “equality”!
LISTEN! I’ll provide covering fire and I want you to run when I say “GO”! You run like buggery to the other side of the street. Use the wheely-bin for cover and on my signal’, he raised his fingers in a V, ‘make for the tram stop. I’ll provide covering and supressing fire, and make my break when the tram arrives.
Once on the tram, act ordinary until I signal you to get off’!
‘But er… this is a suburban street, we’….
“YOU ARE IN MORTAL DANGER DON’T QUESTION MY AUTHORITY’! We looked at each other and the blood red ribbon of a certified VC winner. We couldn’t deny the truth of his cause and it was not for us mere civvies to question him. We grabbed whatever we needed for a short tram trip and then crouching as instructed by our VC winner, we crept out.
Margaret played shit-loads of tennis matches with the help of this dusky lass. Whom no one shall bother to name a trophy nor tennis court after.
‘GO’! he commanded, and within seconds we were crouching by the wheely bin. A little dog trotted towards us in greeting… RATATATA, the machine gun opened up and the dog was atomised. We looked up and saw Ben preparing to load a rocket propelled grenade and he gave us the V signal. We rushed to the tram stop and whilst trembling with anticipation heard an enormous explosion from the direction of our office. We were greeted with a smiling Ben, “ just to ensure the evidence is gone’.
All the First Fleeters deserve an AO for not having a flash time upon arrival at Botany Bay. See lack of SILVER WARE on Officers table.
‘Thanks Ben’, he’d blown up our business, and livelihood but we were safe. It was comforting to know that Ben and his squadron had done the same to Afghani’s to make em civilised. Just then, the tram arrived, and Ben motioning us to just sit down, walked up to the drivers compartment, pulled the driver out at gunpoint and took over the controls. The driver was quickly bound and trussed, and as he deflty scrolled the desination of SPECIAL, we moved off. WE saw with OUR OWN EYES how the army works and were DEEPLY impressed. With Ben at the helm this tram would be ON TIME! And though we knew not where we were going we felt reassured. Safe for the moment from Mr Big, and protected from the dark web, Angus, Jamie, and those intent on monetizing their positions in the pursuit of raw power. Bens power was RAW, but differrent. It was designed for the common good.
To cut a long story short, we changed trams at the Kew depot and boarded a track maintenance vehicle. We made our way to Essendon. On the tarmac awaiting out arrival stood members of Bens troop and the open rear door of a Hercules. We drove aboard, and no sooner had we arrived then it took off.
‘Hold this’, Ben tossed us a parachute each, ‘and when I give the symbol YOU JUMP’!
Indigenous Australians were made to observe Australia Day for their own good. AND THEY’RE STILL UNGRATEFUL!
‘But, but’….., our pathetic questioning was quashed, he waived another document, ‘or you can land ON HARD GROUND, the choice is yours? Sign this’!
Another document, this was for water rights to the entire top-end, the entire Murray Darling Basin, and most of the Kimberley. We scanned the documents, another Jam-land Contract, once again, we made a quick decision, and were once again co-owners on water futures. We wondered, why us? Mere prawns, should be so exalted. We knew with Angus there was no such thing as a free croissant. Plans had been made for us, and these plans were guided by the hand of MR BIG!
A true LEADER! Arguably Australia’s GREATEST HUMAN BEING!
The question being; was this croissant buttered and how much jam? The jam being the jam we were in. And one way or another we had nowhere specific to land. In short we were in a REAL JAM!
Bronnie deserved her AO, that’s why she’s a WINNER!
Stay tuned to our next compelling episode, ‘Three Jams and Jim’, or ” V.C winners are Grinners”,