Barnaby, a consitent upholder of family values, and after three years in the wilderness….

Dear reader, you thought we were going to add paragraph after gushing paragraph on the elevation of Australia’s, (arguably) greatest politician EVER, the Rt Hon Member for Coal and Big Buiness, Barnaby Joyce.

But instead we have to continue the gripping tale of our heroes as they try and find out who did defile Mrs Culthorpe in Parliament? Mrs Culthorpe, a fallen woman who’s only crime was working tirelessly as a parliamentary intern. In a plot that twists and weaves more confusedly than a National Energy, Climate or Carbon Policy, our heroes are in deep shit! Not of a metaphorical type, but in reality, as they are about to be flung into the sewerage beneath Canberra by Ben Roberts Smith, ( arguably ) our finest soldier. The Minister for Energy, Angus “the Cayman” Taylor, and Peter, ‘Dutto’ Dutton are the masterminds. But by a miracle, almost as significant as Barnaby’s return to power, and his bid to stem the flow of mighty rivers with his shrill rhetoric, the heroes were given a reprieve. Just in the nick of time.

A new family to uphold family values with….

Who is Nick? Will this be their last time? Will time run out for Barnaby? Who’s time is it anyway?

Find out in this next compelling episode:  “a shandy short of pissed pollie on the floor of parliament”, or “two wongs dont make a White paper”.

Wrong kind of family values

We return to the scene as our heroes were whicked away on a light real beneath the bowels of parliament, at the helm Benny Boy, to a fateful assignation with the woman they call “Gina”.. read in for the next intestinally gripping episode…..

All Angus did was glare: ‘Take em away Benny-Boy’. It was a new beginning, the fact that Angus was working for the Chinese Communist Party, and not just as a lobbyist, but as a fully fledged General in the People’s Army, and that he had licenses to exploit global water resources anywhere in the world on a scale that made his Cayman Island stake in the Murray Darling look like a trickle. And he even had options and licenses pending or the surface of Mars and the moons of Uranus. 

He was a colossus! 

Benny-boy was a colossus also! 

Barnaby and Senator McMahon. Being pissed in parliament should not be a crime. NT and Qld Ministers loathe indigenous public drunkedness

But of steroids and drug enhanced ligaments, whereas, Angus was the true super-man, a superman, more Neitzsche-ian than  Nietzsche himself. And the full bottle on philosophy and human- kind, that’s Grange, cos Angus is a man, an undisputed man of CLASS!

We had to hand it to Angus he knew how to make governance pay, and there was certainly more jam to be had than Jam-land, and plenty of gravy too.   But he also was our executioner, and if I hadn’t blurted out “ Grand Slam” we would’ve been drowned in sewerage. 

But what was in store? Something worse? What was Gina going to do to us? 

Was Gina going to do to us what she did to the resource rent tax? Or worse? We daren’t think, cept to be grateful that we were still alive. 

The forecourt to Senator McMahons tastefully designed indigenous garden.

Still, with Benny-Boy guiding us along a subterranean tramway obviously paid for by the Chinese government because it ran seamlessly, on time and without deviation we knew that this was just a precursor for something much worse. We didn’t have time to see if the lines had been manufactured by Uighur slave labor as the new trains destined for Victoria were, but we were impressed with the seamless transition from raw sewerage to another lineal transfer system. You had to hand it to the commies, they knew how to direct their objective.  As Benny leered at us, I said to Ces; ‘well, we might as well enjoy the ride’, and sat back. Ces was leafing through the funding submissions for sports centres, for stadia, library’s, hospitals and child-care centres, All of them stamped ‘Inadmissible’ and ‘Non Compliant’ and ‘REJECTION’ stamped over them.

Ces remarked;  ‘Jeez, Quent, they all look reasonable’, but in the half light we could see they were all from Labor electorates. ‘That figures’ he said,  ‘the figures whichever way you look at em wont stack up. In the end I spose it’s true what they say winners are grinners’. And Benny who had acute hearing from listening to the soft footfalls of Jihadi insurgents walking through rice paddies guffawed; ‘Yeah, and there aint no bigger winner than one with a VC tattooed to his chest’….

The Feds new Energy Policy is centred on a “GAS LED RECOVERY” and “SMART UNIFORMS’! A joint recovery between the Corio refinery and a second-tier boarding school nearby.

Will a tattooed VC save us from something much worse?

Find out in our next episode; “A trolley to the Pilbara”, or “Five Graves to Corio’!