Dear reader another scintillating snapshot of life in The United States of America. This instalment brought to you by G.T.Beauregard.
Clearly their own version of the Brownlow at the Crown Palladium
Saints coach Sean Payton has a charity. Eponymous, naturally: “Sean Payton’s Play It Forward Foundation”. Seein’ as the Aints are back in town Sunday night it seemed a good chance for SPPIFF to hold a fundraiser October 2. And so it came to pass: a Black and Gold Gala –pronouced “gayler”- was presented by Chevron at the Mercedes Benz Superdome. The décor was comme ça:
Not quite sure what this was about. Perhaps midgets eating icecream? That’s always amusing:
Bit like scene from ‘Logans Run’. Doubtless AFL Executives will be impressed
An aerial view of the “atmosphere”:
Entertainment was provided by local music royalty Irma Thomas, Darius Rucker and Better Than Ezra somebody or other.
The Times-Picayune fell over itself taking pictures on the red carpet, including a big smiler featuring Sean Payton presented by Chevron himself, along with several grinning attendees, including Skyler and Darlene Montgomery and their beautiful daughter named – wait for it – Skylene!
The Montgomerys hail from Mineral Springs, West Virginia. As the Parkersburg News and Sentinel reported in March 2008, Skylene was Miss West Virginia USA – not to be confused with Miss West Virginia Bangladesh – that year, and was guest of honor at a big bash at the Comfort Suites Mineral Springs shortly before her departure to compete in the Miss USA pageant at Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino, Las Vegas. Friends and family stopped by the Comfort Suites with gifts – chocolate and glazed donuts, no doubt. But Skylene, who holds a degree in exercise physiology, was having none of it. She had been eating “clean” – whole grains, chicken breast and greens – running the treadmill and doing weights in preparation for her big day. Photographs of Skylene “were placed throughout” the Comfort Suites and she signed copies for her fans.
Unlike Amanda Duffy née Burns – Miss West Virginia Teen USA 1997, Miss West Virginia USA 1999, Mrs West Virginia America 2004 and, back from the dead, in 2013, a two time champion wife, no less – Skylene has apparently overcome the disappointment of failing to persuade Mr Trump to crown her Miss USA 2008. She obviously continues to eat clean. Here she is – she’s the one next to Sean presented by Chevron, second from right:
Everybody loves Skylene!!!
Skyler is the sleek & happy one far left, Darlene next to him. The others blew in by mistake.
SPPIFF “focuses on helping families and children in need of services in the area of health, education and welfare”. These all sound like good things, the sort of things that can also be addressed by a functional system of taxation.
The evening’s particular beneficiaries were K9S for Warriors, Feed The Children and the Gleason Initiative Foundation. The first gives dogs to vets: veterans that is. It is simply not possible to go wrong in this country by invoking the debt real or imagined due to the former members of its armed services. There are many of them. Some were invited to the gala and were pictured standing proudly with their Labrador retrievers.
The Gleason Initiative Foundation is dedicated to the investigation and treatment of Lou Gehrig’s disease. Coincidentally, it takes its name from Steve Gleason, a former Saints player who suffers from it. Donations may be made to the foundation – tax deductible – or to Steve’s own family trust – non-deductible.
The ambitions of Feed The Children are somewhat greater than those of the others. It envisions a world in which “No child goes to bed hungry”, distributing food, medicine and educational supplies around the globe. Its website explains that “the biggest reason kids are hungry, both in the US and around the world, is poverty.” Now there’s something to think about. It also tells us the reasons American kiddies don’t always get the education they need:
“Many kids are also pressed into work at an early age to help their family earn a living. Others fall behind in school because their poor nutrition makes concentrating and learning difficult. And for some, education is hindered by issues with transportation, a lack of resources [I’m far from certain that this happens in the USA], or an absence of parental involvement [are we perhaps referring to “minorities” here?].
It’s a lot to wrap your head around. [It sure is! Mine is starting to hurt!] Child hunger isn’t something we can fix in a day or with one solution. We have to work every angle: food, water, education, and livelihoods.
We also know we, and these communities, can’t solve this alone. With the help of compassionate donors, skilled experts, and generous partners, we can break kids out of these cycles together.”
Thus, Feed The Children is a little like UNICEF, but blessedly free of the taint of socialism.
Media reports don’t disclose what the many guests had to eat, but the charity auction – conducted personally by Sean presented by Chevron – went off with a bang. Attendees generously vied for such things as a fishing trip to Costa Rica, a post-Grammy-award party and a custom made “Datmobile” in which to travel to Saints’ games with other members of the Who Dat nation. But it’s really about giving, not getting. The warm inner glow that comes from demonstrating that you can write a bigger check than that asshole from the north shore on the next table, “Yeah, hi! Howzitgoin? … Greaat, yeah, we’ll hafta ketchup … Loser.”
Meanwhile, the Aints are 0 from 3. There are calls for Sean’s head as coach. It’s all very well having a charity named “play it forward”, but the Aints are going backward, and staring down the barrel of 0 from 4 against the Cowboys in their hometown tomorrow night.
Bravo G.T. Please keep us informed, and we’re all thrilled you’re devoted so truly to giving us an inkling of the Shape of things to Come”