Jeff the purple wiggle, (retired) reeling from the Mossack Fonseca revelations.

Dear reader, only once in a while, something happens, some cataclysmic convulsive event occurs that changes our perceptions of how the world must be. And when such an event, jolts our preconceptions, we earmark that day. It’s akin to the Kennedy assassination, John Lennon’s death, the retirement of Jeff, the purple Wiggle, as an emotional precipice from which we fall into, and never recover. Such is the shock that has sent us reeling from the Mossack Fonseca revelations.

Vladimir Putin. Socking away trillions. Who would’ve believed?

The findings from the leak are insidious and challenge the very core of what we thought about civilised society. It removes once and for all our faith in the “system”, and makes us all just so world weary and jaded. At this very rotten core are the revelations that Vladimir Putin, has squirreled away billions of dollars from the Russian economy into myriad bank accounts. The secret bank accounts reveal investments in real estate, stocks and investment across the globe, and all awhile, he maintained, (this is the truly shocking part) an outward appearance of decency, humility and thrift in tune to an average Russian view of things.

Chinese president meeting H.M The Queen. Queen giving advice on how to sock away wealth respectably.

Worse still, the leaks reveal that there is systemic, corruption, nepotism and shonky-ness at the very core of the Chinese ruling elite. We were always led to believe that the former president amassed a fortune of billions from product endorsements and luck at the casino. But it is also revealed that being party leader number one as president is a cash cow that gives and just keeps giving. And it’s supposed to be a communist regime!!! The current president has also been exceedingly lucky. He’s made millions and billions by allegedly plundering state owned assets and socked it all away to distribute amongst his friends, (just like Putin) and extended family. It’s nepotism on a grand scale, and as I remember when I studied for my Confucian civil service exam back in the Sun Yat Sen era, such things as nepotism, (insidious and corrupting) were alien to Chinese civil life then, as they should be now. Sensible then that mention of it has been banned by the Chinese government. If it (nepotism and corruption) took off amongst the general population there’d be a melt- down.

‘Foreign’ Investors picking over London Real Estate.

These are the lead stories associated with the leaks. Shockingly, this will come as a convulsive surprise, a lot of tin-pot African and Middle Eastern despots have been socking away money into London real estate. It’ll put you off breakfast if I tell you just how much money has been socked away by the Saudi ruling family and their cronies. Fancy that! The Saudi’s being so secretive about their private business dealings! When as we all know in governance they’re the acme of liberalism and forward thinking-ness. It’s all very shady. But I must remind you now that there’s not anything strictly illegal about it. Just as me mate Arthur says, ” Whiffy”!

British P.M. Very cross about what his dad did to pay for his school fees.

The nice P.M, (recently retired) of Iceland.

And then there’s the innocent victims, Mr David Cameron’s dad, whilst talking about the corruption of tax havens, actually indulged in a few himself. I spose it’s a bob each way, and the poor, (figuratively speaking), rather nice P.M of Iceland has lost his job, just cos his wife failed to mention her holdings in a bank that he happened to help bail out with public funds. That’s sad, there’s always someone who gets caught in the crossfire. Sadder still, as Bob Ellis said before he karked it, ‘it all smells a bit Khemlani’, as these wicked nefarious deeds are all heralded by “foreign sounding people” without names like Smith or Brown. Thought there is the odd Cameron.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg, as the ATO is investigating 800 Aussies and associated firms, that are also part of that iceberg. And with global warming, the icebergs are melting, and it’s death and disaster for all of us.

But fear not. It aint. It’s all good news, the findings reveal that this vast pile of money that could’ve been used for education, health, wisdom and goodness everywhere and all over for ordinary people will be burnt, and the icebergs will melt. And what oozes from the greed imbued aqueous slime, will nourish us all.

And why? Well it’s all science really. We only see the 1% of the iceberg that sticks its nose out of the ocean. And when or if, (after all the hoo-ha has died down and nothing will come of it) that 1 percent melts, that’s called the ‘trickle down effect’. We’ll all benefit in the long run. That’s what keeps the economy going for the benefit of all of us. There’s poetic justice in that.

By the way, just got word there’s a new Panamanian firm registered yesterday which purports to assist other law abiding citizens who have a wealth problem. It’s called Fossack Monseca, and their files, (so this prospectus says) are Incorruptible. I’m glad about that. And glad someone out there is taking action against corrupt practices seriously. Because it’s something government’s just don’t have the guts to tackle!!