Chinese Sub cleverly evades RAN Minesweepers off Pt Nepean
Harold shook ol Ruperts hand, you could tell they were mates, cos Rupert didn’t try and steal his watch. It’s a code amongst really successful business people not to shit in each others nests. That’s why Lindsay wouldn’t have a go at Sol when they worked on creating a closed shop at Myer and controlled the profits for themselves whilst board members, it keeps things neat. There’s nothing worse than a messy board, where people are looking to the company and societal benefits as a whole rather than the company looking after them. Bit like Australia Day, it wasn’t what we could do for Australia, but what it could do for us. And for those who want to make us guilty about disposession and despoilation on a tragic scale the comeback is, “ it wasn’t too flash for the convicts either’, and in a word. ‘GET OVER IT’! Rupert continued where he’d left off;
Reliability, a sign of TRUE LEADERSHIP!
‘Well boys you almost blew it, agent seven and agent 55 had quite the runaround, and our new boy almost lost his cool and upset the whole apple-cart. The new-boy? Yeah Angus, he’s a bit wet around the gills, and has a bit of learning to do. As for Jamie and Big Ben here. Big Ben grinned like and idiot, (that was the endearing part about him), they just know how to obey simple instructions. It makes em reliable that’s the trouble with Angus, after ‘Clover-gate’ he just aint RELIABLE’!
And with that Rupert smiled at Harold and they just walked off to a waiting tender , ( with Jerry in tow) and swanned over to the Submarine, before you could say “pacific-partnership’ the sub was gone.
The MAN of the HOUR!
So who was left on the beach? Ben the grinning idiot, all seven and a half feet of steroid induced heroism and this other bloke. The one they left to supervise ‘the takeover.’ the most reliable agent of public service to Rupert and the REAL MR BIG! The Safe pair of hands. He turned towards us, it was uncanny.
The face, if you could call it a face, looked like a potato. It was Mr Potato-head himself, Peter Dutton. Peter was dressed in this flash black paramilitary coat, with lightning strikes on the collars, and he wore a high peaked officers cap, a sword, a ceremonial dagger, and a field Marshalls baton, with matching jackboots. We had to admit, in this get-up he looked impressive, and with Ben standing next to him it was hard to tell who was the scariest. ‘Yep I’ll be P.M from hereon’.
The Official Strayla day beach party
“But what about Scomo’?, he pointed to the submarine; ‘all safely inside, call it the submarine cabinet’, he chuckled. ‘After covid, and increased police powers for public safety my skills were recognised and so the moment in history has arrived’.
SAFE and COMFORTABLE!
And the final act, on the beach, on this special Strayla Day, as the submarine, with Jamie, Angus, Scomo, and Mr Big all gone, we stood alone. ‘Yep mate, all gone. I’m here to look after you, and to look after the security of ALL AUSTRALIANS. And its fitting that it took place on this Australia Day. And on THIS BEACH’!
He led us to a small table, a flagpole had been erected nearby. On the table, a small old-school wound up record player. He bellowed TENSHUN, and he put the 78 on. It was ‘God Save the Queen’. Ben unfurled the flag, our flag, he produced a bugle, played the “last post” and saluted as it slid up the pole.
Dargie’s famous-est portrait
Dargie was off- colour when he painted this-un
From his attendant SAS obersturmbandfeuhrer, (his offical title in the the Queensland jurisdiction) Dutton grabbed a sword. Images flashed before us of Japanese style executions and the way uncle Bluey lost his head via the japs at Buna. He motioned us. Pointed to a spot in the sand, we knelt down expecting the worst. I winked to Ces and said, ‘so mate it’s come to this, what did Ned say,? : Stuff this life”! Yep that just about sums it up’.
We waited for the blow, and then as if by magic, the sword lightly touched us on the shoulder and we could hear Dutton, speaking in a tone rich with the sense of duty and deep solemnity; ‘as emissary to her most noble majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, and the power invested by her son His Royal Highness Prince Andrew I hereby dub thee Sir Cecil and Sir Quentin Cockburn, on this our Australia Day. Arise Sirs’!
We were flummoxed, so that was it, ‘for services to water futures and the Cayman islands’, ( it was written clearly on the citation) which is a colony held in trust by Her Majesty the Queen.
‘For keeping the evil power of the CCP at bay through negotiation and water futures and defending whilst monetising Australia’s core values of insularity, smugness and insecurity’.
British and Australian Royalty
After all it didn’t matter about the barley, the coal, the wine and the beef embargoes, we were lucky and from the lucky country. Introspection or the plight of the first Australians was the last thing on our mind. And knowing that we were into water futures with the backing of Angus, Jamie and Rupert we were home and hosed, and more importantly, ( from the words of our greatest PM EVER) “SAFE and COMFORTABLE”. And in case we ever forgot, knighted for services and with a framed portrait, ( the wattle one painted by Sir William Dargie back in 54) rather than the one Rolf did, we were knights of the realm, and it made is feel deeply honoured, and though we’re loathe to admit it, a little smug.
WE knelt, and prayed, it was our very own Strayla day. We were truly Safe and Comfortable! And nothing we possessed or ever did could be questioned, for we were sanctioned by HER Majesty the Queen.
GOD SAVE THE QUEEN. GOD SAVE STRAYLA DAY!
SAFE and COMFORTABLE!
THE END.