Newstart Allowance recipients. Clearly fed up with Centrelink waiting times apply in person. Note; these individuals are not smartly and fashionably dressed as regular readers of the Saturday Paper. Thats why they’re poor.

We implore our readership not to be confused with the Newstart allowance. The newstart allowance is pegged at about $525.00 per fortnight.

That’s not a lot to survive on. But way way way too generous for lazy, slothful, dole-bludgers. The fact they get anything is a shame. That money could be further re-directed to very nice French submarines. The first two Le medre and Le toilet to be floated out of a South Australian dockyard in 2035.

HMAS Australia. our very own dreadnought. Comissioned in 1913. Scrapped in 1924. Let’s hope that le medre and le toilet will have longer service careers.

By then they’ll be the equivalent of the first dreadnought ‘HMS Dreadnought’, (1906) doing battle with the ‘Bismarck’(1940). Actually that’s a poor analogy because to all intents and purposes by 1940 all battleships were obsolete. Perhaps a better analogy would be to invoke the spirit of Bleriot’s biplane with a Supermarine Spitfire, (and my god they were super!!). Or go one step further, a Spitfire with an F.35. But we know that’ll never work as the F.35 will never ever be operational. But that’s not the point, big battleships and big submarines are great fun to play with. A truly big submarine can go way way down into the shadowy depths of the deep ocean. And Australia needs that capability, because after the recent Hague ruling, it will be beholden to “Us” to check the line of paint that has been installed along the East Timor Gap to determine where out claim stands. Without that, the East Timorese, (uppity little tin-pot potentates) my get more gas, fuel and oil and shit than we would like. And that would not be fair. WE like things to be fair in Australia.

Gillian Triggs. Worst ever Human Rights Commissioner.

Worst ever Solicitor General.

That’s why Gillian Triggs should go for the new job. She did a rotten job as Human Rights Commissioner. Kept saying things. Wouldn’t bloody keep her mouth shut. Our government doesn’t like talkative minions who don’t know their place. Worse still, they’re meant to be independent. Triggs as Human Rights Commissioner became a bloody nuisance. Got to the stage you couldn’t pick up a copy of the Monthly or Saturday Paper without her banging on about minorities kept in detention for their own good. Got to the stage we couldn’t go near the Saturday Paper and not see her in amongst the adds for Rolex watches, dull shows at national galleries and spectacularly well prepared ads advising the more well heeled baby boomers where to maximise their returns on capital. Thats why we’re confused abut the Saturday Paper. It espouses a sort of liberalism of the intellectual type, yet the ads speak of an entrenched plutocratic conservative determinism, and almost (excuse us if we’re wide of the mark) an exclusivist intellectual prissiness akin to some smug sinecured enclave of secular puritans. Who in spite of their social credentials are not really interested in being seen with Centrelink recipients and bringing Guy Fawkes and crackers back into community circulation as an act of universal happiness and celebration. Yep a sinecured wowser elite. Almost makes us yearn for the Herald Scum.

But excuse, this distraction, the truth of the matter is that Triggs has what it takes to get the vacancy left by the out-going Solicitor General. She’s articulate, clever, takes herself seriously and not very funny. We urge her to give it go.

I will be obeyed!!! George Brandis. Like Kim Jong un, he understands power, and ‘another ambitious Queenslander’.

But one piece of advice, learn to keep her mouth shut. She should’ve learnt by now. The outgoing Solicitor General clearly didn’t. And, she should’ve learnt by now that the Australian public don’t care about Concentration camps for refugees. They don’t care about the Attorney General acting like King John, or Kim Jong il. They don’t care about flogging off public assets to developers. And they don’t care that the Property Council runs the country….and George Christiansen. In short they don’t give a stuff. So jump to it. And keep your mouth shut. And that’s how you get on in the world, and if you don’t believe us, ask the other George. You might have to book the call, because he’s in charge of ‘God’s Telephone’. And that’s in Rome. The Vatican in case you didn’t know. And he wont let you reverse the charges. So stick it!!