A schools polling booth in Northcote. Infected by “Green”

Dear reader, it seems trenchant to talk quite seriously about the Queensland election. On the back of the Northcote by-election there’s some very interesting lessons for the major parties. Not only are these profoundly earth shattering lessons that shake their presuppositions to the very core, but these questions must be answered or the entire edifice of the two party system will irrevocably crumble.

And the tide is in for the two party system. The sandscastles of ‘two-party-ism’ will inevitably fall, and the tide waits for no man. The house of cards will come tumblin down, and the wall built to stem the back water will not be able to sustain the sheer pressure. The dogs of change are barking, and from what we can see they’re all very nicely turned out. They seem to be led by the French Poodles, the Afghans, and the Airedale’s with other very expensive designer pooches in the van.

All Airedale’s vote Green.

They bark out one tune, for all to hear; ‘The future is green’.

As Antony Green , famous sephologist put it, “it’s green and you’re soaking in it’. And from the metrocentric nodes of Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane, the aureole, the roseate, pinkish dot that once promised Labor, is not green. It’s not gangrene, but something almost as virulent, and it’s spreading. And its spread if unchecked will turn the entire map of Australia a Greenish Hue, with a faint hint of lavender, crushed rose water and incense.

Greenish folk in their native environment. (no blades of grass were crushed in this photo shoot).

To stem the tide we have, (and this is reassuring), an inkling that the vast majority of clean living, hard working, debt corrotted Australians, think that an electoral cycle is something you get with a washing machine. To wash the grass stains out of your cricket whites. They think that forward thinking is what you get at half time at the footy. And a legacy is something you put on a shrine every Anzac Day.

And they’re keeping Australia pure from the taint of “green-ism”. The tide will be stopped, and stopped for good, mark our words, by ignorance, bloody mindedness and WIIFMS, “what’s in it for me syndrome”.

That core value system will see to it that nothing changes, nothing is resolved and the basic principles of Australian society; short termism and being screwed by the corporates remains untainted by verdigris.

An eco-friendly triple garage. Proof of Porsche, BMW and Range Rover sustainability credentials. And the lighting is 100% renewable.

Sadly Malcolm Roberts didn’t get a seat. But resolutley he’ll stand by us to ensure that thought is capped at the year 3 level. Cos that’s the duration of the aussie political cycle, and gives the perfect direction for our etseemed politicians en route to their corpprate sinecured kickback for all the lobbying.

So it’s good news for the inner cities, and conrfirmation that if you live beyond the latte belt, and are unlucky enough to live in the bush, you’re stuffed. That’s what’s comfirmed by Northcote and Brisbane. And the rule is, that we like it neat in the inner cities and we dig sustainability. That’s why I got the upgrade on the Porsche Cayenne. The BMW series five just didn’t look sustainable enough. It’s a cleaner burning car and I know with the 18 kilowatt solar array I’m doing my bit for the environment. Cos with a greenish tinge we demonstrate that we care. We’re into the big issues, like marriage and whatever happens globally. Stuff, the rest of Australia doens’t give a damn about. Gotta go now, ‘Persephone’ my toy poodle ridgeback needs grooming, and the blasted dog wash man is late again. I’m determined to not give him a tip and save the money for a coffee after Pilates.

If Afghans, were clever enought they would also vote GREEN!