New Zealand P.M says “capitalism is broken”. Ruled ineligible for the Melbourne Cup.

Dear reader, we were going to devote this week to some really hard hitting trenchant pieces. (that’s stuff you write in a trench at Gallipoli) These pieces were to put the lid on the perplexing issues that face us in this era of crises. In one fell swoop we were going to lift the lid on inequality, racism and the disparity between the have’s and have nots. We were about to deliver a series of breathtakingly analytical pieces on why the body politic aint working. Why capitalism is broken. And why there’s a kiddy somewhere who hasn’t got an I-pad.

Without reality television we know that out society is doomed. Without the ongoing stimulus of Adani, to make us wealthier we are doomed. Without housing estates stretching as far as the eye can see as testament to our wealth as a nation, we know we’re doomed.

We thought we’d devote some really serious thinking to these issues. And, above all, as this vast panoply of goverance, is rent, ripped and torn asunder upon the merciless, mendacity of the market, we were going to take one step further, beyond the realm of human understanding, and say something really profound. It’s an epoch we’re in. And we don’t flinch from making an epoch making statement. For that is our purpose at pcbycp. Not to flinch. Not one little bit.

“Inequality” scratched.

But a horse race has stopped the nation.

In a nation-sized horse race, it proves our worth as a civilised people.

The following is a trasnscript from the race-call.

Only now, in the afterglow of this truly significant event can we now describe the race in detail.

‘Inequity’ was scratched a day before the big event. ‘Compassion’ and ‘Tolerance’ were both late scratchings, and that only left after the sudden withdrawal of ‘Intelligence’, ‘Foresight’, ‘Historical Fact’ and ‘Environment’ only eight horses left in the field.

And it was a close race, almost too tight to call.

After a bunched start, ‘Bigotry’, was level pegging with ‘Xenephobia’, the two vied for the lead into the first 1000 metres. “Naked Greed’, closely followed by ‘Real Estate’ and ‘Un- Australian’, were making a real challenge. “Xenephobia” came in a late rally at the 1200 metre mark and looked set to take the lead. Stretching out on the final turn “Aboriginal Australia”, went lame and had to be put down, whilst ‘Incarceration’ and ‘Kleptocracy’ came for nowhere to mount a real challenge. It was neck and neck, the crowd on the edge of their seats, unable to contain their excitement as ‘Naked Greed’, ‘Klepotcracy’ and ‘Xenephobia’ made a last sprint for home. And then just as it seemed ‘Xenephobia’ would race forward a little over three lengths in front, “Anzackery’ made a late challenge, and was about to stride first across the winning post when from out of nowhere, ‘Minerals and Energy’ made a dash and came across the line to win the 156th Melbourne Cup.

“Maggotted”, another late scratching.

As a postscript, ‘Renewables’, Public Imagination” and “Gay Marriage’, failed to catch the frontrunners and retired from the track.

We are thrilled to report that after the stewards made their report it was decalred a dead heat. “Minerals and Energy” equal first with ‘Anzackery’ and ‘Xenephobia’, the winners of the Melbourne Cup. It’s a race that stopped the nation, and ensures that in spite of what’s said , this is a nation of heavy lifters. Each winner carried up to fifteen lumps of real coal in their saddle bags. Proof of the power of Minerals and Energy in leading Australia.

And Minerals and Energy as a short priced favourite, it was a happy day for the punters.