John Howard is worried about Marriage equality.

‘Who me”?

Australia’s second longest serving and arguably ‘best ever’ Prime Minister ever has expressed his concern for those caught up in the maelstrom of marriage equality. He wants to see protection for the vast swathe of organisations and services who will be caught up in the marriage equality fury.

Now lets be quite reasonable about this, he is no dog whistling homophobe. He’s just trying to ensure that the vast bulk of clean-living hetero folk out there are not forced against their will to participate in some of the awkward and disgusting things that gays make us do. Creatively, John mentioned a few, such as churches, of which he is a stalwart member being forced contrary to conscience and the edict of good man made laws having to serve gays against their principles of tolerance and compassion. Of good clean living catering organisations being forced by market imperatives or perhaps the threat of a ‘gay-lash’ to cater for them. He would’ve enumerated other worthy examples such as what might happen if a restaurant innocently took on a booking for a family function, only to discover it was a family of gays, or happy lesbians with young children or other fringe dwellers, (the mind boggles,). But I think Senator Bernardii intimated it might end up with half the party arriving all of a sudden with their partners who incidentally may be Dogs!!! Fancy that!!

“Friends”

Now to be quite fair this is a timely warning, and in all fairness it doesn’t smack of the low grade dog whistling politics the Howard government was famous for. It just lets mum and dad ordinary clean living australians know what might happen if a plebiscite ever got off the ground on gay marriage. Funnily enough there’s an election in a couple of days and Johnny’s timely input would have nothing to do with that. And that would be silly, cos Malcolm Abbott our PM is a champion of gays rights. He’s told us so, just as he’s a champion of the Great Barrier Reef, and tax reform, and bank enquiries, and all manner of things forward thinking australians would like to see. But with Johns message comes a note of caution. If the other lot get elected you’ll be forced to accept these types of people as people like you and ‘US’. And you’ve gotta admit he has a point.

Tampa 2001. ‘Glory days’

Hmmm, Bronze?, Clay?.. Mud?.. or just Pure Shit?

And that’s where John is a stellar performer. As he did in the 2001 election he reminds the electorate before they go headlong and commit a major disaster. Bit like this brexit thing. What’s really at stake? He reminds us of the little subtleties, normally forgot, that nibble away in the subconscious. If he didn’t perform this service, we, the electorate would be seriously under informed. A tragedy. John, you bloody legend, you not only keep us safe! Not only helped us to improve the lot of Iraqi’s and Afghani’s the world over, but inspired us by thinking big. Thankyou John, your bigness is what has made Australia what it is today, snide, insular, insecure and very very worried about things that don’t really matter unless your perspective on life, the universe and everything is irretrievably small.