Soon to be unemployed Ford workers celebrate suicide prevention by being scared out of their wits!!!
Staggering news. Australia leads the world. First in Indigenous incarceration, and first in suicide. Truly an index of the lucky country at work.
Members of the SUMP Taskforce exploring mental health welfare metrics.
So serious is this explosion in self disposal the federal government has set up a ‘Suicide Prevention Task-force’. The Task-force; The Juvenile Utility Metrics Programme (J.U.M.P) is an initiative that aims to provide long-term solutions to this serious issue. Leading the initiative are a board of hand-picked experts. The Chair, Mr Fulcrum T Feather-bedder Stated; ‘categorically, we need to see a massive increase in funding for this issue. Youth suicide and suicide amongst males predominately is out of control! Unless something changes there’ll be no one left to run Seven Eleven’s, do high level service sector jobs, toilet cleaning and floor scrubbing, and no one left to pick up the slack left since we lost manufacturing.
The head of the Suicide Utility Metric Prevention (S.U.M.P) Task-Force was at pains to point out the complexity of the problem. Pointing to a graph he indicated a line rising almost in geometric progression off the scale. ‘This is how serious it is’, (pausing, just long enough to be spoken to by a minder, the head of the task force blushed), ‘excuse me ladies and gentlemen, this is the wrong graph’. Asked what it alluded to, a spokesman for the department stated; ‘That’s the rise in costs for advertising, and ancillary performance based outcomes’. Performance based outcomes we enquired?, ‘Errr, salaries, You don’t think health-care and suicide prevention comes cheap! We’ve got to pay the experts to get to the bottom of it. Not that they ever get to see the loonies on the coal face so to speak, but they understand the Bigger Picture’. The Big Picture we enquired? ‘You pay peanuts, you get monkeys’.
Could it be that unplanned, spiralling, laissez-faire speculative capitalism and the feudalisation of the general population, may impact on mental health?
On hand the chair of the Australian Property Council decried the embarrassing statistic. We’ve looked at all the indices, and were flummoxed. These new estates, (pointing to another map) shows strong growth in estates all across the urban fringe as the epicentre of this epidemic. No public transport, no community infrastructure, no jobs, no social networks, and whaddaya think they do? They top themselves. It’s just not cricket. Proof that the leaners are letting themselves down in spite of our best efforts to give them a mortgage, meaning and the capacity as consumers to … Consume. What do they possibly think we can do to help them? We’re flat chat creating new estates, and opportunities for investors, and these people, ungrateful I may add, seem hell bent on topping themselves. Not only do they let down the wider community, but they let down the shareholders. Though, there’s always a silver lining, if they own property it can be redistributed, that’s the life cycle. Suicide is not an end in itself’. As the accountant said to the acturist, “ it’s a beautiful set of figures”.
New Subdivison potential. Only 395 kms from city fringe.
On hand to provide a counter, Mr Des Dunt, (unemployed and deceased from Wendouree) countered: ‘If you gave us meaningful work and a sense of optimism, it wouldn’ve happened, We don’t all want to be home-owners and consumers, Some of us want to make a contribution to society’. Scoffing, the head of the government task-force put Mr Dunt down by reassuring him; ‘Personal happiness is not what mental illness is all about. ‘That’s overstated, perfectly unhappy people go onto do great things. Mr Dutton for example, has displaced his unhappiness by constructively persecuting other dispossessed wastrels and slobs. If we’re going to protect big business and provide for jobs and growth ‘happiness’ is immaterial. And besides, someone has to take control and that involves significant risks’.
Asked what risks, emotional, physical, reputational? ‘Nah mate, my pay packet, It’s another board, but I prefer the paying ones, because at the end of the day I know one eternal truth. Nothing will ever change. Remember Aboriginal deaths in Custody? Point Made. Because no one really cares, nothing will change. It doesn’t affect the legislators, and is, excuse me for saying it, another good little earner for the real estate sector. Pretending to care, is what nourishes our society. Incidentally, I’m in line for an A.O. And as donations are 100% tax deductible, it’s good business. I’ll point to a proven model that espouses spiritual and emotional nourishment whilst protecting real estate. And as an offset protects the Status Quo.
The fundamental driver of the economy.
What model we asked?
‘The churches’.