‘We thought Mr Fifield would be receptive, as he himself was tutored by our senior staff from the ‘active mimicry’ and drama department’.
Devastating news comes to us on a daily basis detailing just how deep the latest round of funding cuts have been in the cultural sector. The internationally recognised ‘School of Mimes’ reports to us that after the cuts to the sector in the 2013-14 year, they had to sell off their infrastructure to a Chinese government based consortium. And now as a consequence of the 2014-15 cuts they, bereft of buildings, teaching staff and syllabus must carry on in whatever improvised space they can find. Currently, an open paddock at the rear of what used to be the Fisherman’s Bend proving ground at Holden’s. However we are informed that this makeshift, temporary facility will be subject to an ‘exciting new innovative development’ as an integrated multi tiered technology park. A block of flats. The school will be forced to move on.
A spokesperson for the School of Mimes, made their plea to the Federal Arts Minister Mitch Fifield and was received with ‘death ears’. “It’s a deplorable state of affairs, we’ve trained some of the greatest mimes in Australian theatre and politics over half a century. Our proudest achievement, the grounding we’ve given to the current crop of federal politicians. They’ve used our skills and teaching to reach out to the vast bulk of the Australian population, and what have they rewarded us with in recognition? More cuts. We thought Mr Fifield would be receptive, as he himself was tutored by our senior staff from the ‘active mimicry’ and drama department. We thought he would make an outstanding arts minister. Instead, he seems to fail to grasp that mime is a serious art-form. A good performance demands wit and depth. And it’s important to remain in character whilst on stage.
Another recent graduate from the School of Mimes.
Problem is he thinks he is an Arts Minister! As a member of the theatrical industry, he must also sustain those who follow in his path. He’s jumped the shark. By actually thinks he is an Arts Minister and relegating us to the bottom of the heap, he will now reap a bitter harvest . He just doesn’t get it. And besides he was meant to be funny!
A graduate from the School of Mimes who was unable to transition to Parliament as “convincing”
Similarly there’s reports that among the numerous cuts to theatre, the much anticipated annual play by the Yarraville Repertory to be held at the Spotswood performing arts trust will be cancelled. “This year we were to put in a contemporary play which celebrated the community and those devoted to ensuring that those unheralded heroes who volunteer their time and effort in celebrating culture were recognised. We sent off, (as is our requirement) the script of the play to the federal arts authorities to receive our meagre funding allocation, which pays for hire of the hall, and the printing of leaflets. Last year, we were asked to insert “ Celebrate the Ideas Boom’ into every scene, which was difficult, and conditional to funding. This year to our surprise, we discovered that funding was conditional on changing the theme of ‘Nurture and Nature’, to ‘Jobs and Growth’. It’s impossible, our play was based entirely upon the premise that our lead character, wheelchair bound, LGBTI and deaf, found solace in working as a volunteer in our community. When we requested the play be unchanged, the response was to insert “ Glorious Anzac’ and we just couldn’t do it. The play was pitched as a drama. It wasn’t meant to be funny.
In drama it’s important to engage the audience and make the premise believe-able. We just couldn’t do it. Though we tried, we just couldn’t alter the script enough to put our hero, the LGBTI wheelchair community volunteer onto the beaches at Gallipoli. And after our latest entreaty, the response from the Ministers office?; ‘You must suffer to create good art’. Got to admit though, he’s a shit mime, but he gets irony”