Standing “defenceless” against the Tide

Mao unites Fish and Chip shop owners across Australia.

Dear reader, we continue with our in depth investigation into the insidious Chinese influence upon the Australian body politic. Indeed just as we write the Chinese Communist Party is about to proclaim history by making the leader, a leader for life. Some in the west are worried, so worried that they make comparisons to China’s grab for the South China Sea a Sudetenland issue. We beg to differ. Just because a country economises on politics and goes for the one leader doesn’t mean they are any less democratic. As Bryce Courtenay said in his award winning novel there is; “Power in One”. And just think, (dear reader) what it saves on postage. Barnaby, (the beetrooter) spent over 150 thou on postage alone, just to win back his seat of New England. And elections cost a packet, and in the end you’re not sure if you’re gonna get a Ricky, a Barnaby , a Jacquie or a Corey.

We continue with some of our “In depth ” leters from correspondents proving beyond doubt the insidious creep of Chinese Influence”. This fragment from Quentin Cockburn,

“Yes, but I am terribly worried. Just the other day I was at the corner Milk Bar, and ordered my morning packet of Craven A’s and the cash register, (an Imperial no less) went “Cha Ching”, clearly a sign of Chinese interference. 

I then went to my favourite Fish and Chip shop in Marong Road, ( the main artery of Ironbark) and “Photos’, the old greek bloke and his extended family of some several generations had gorne. Replaced by inscrutable orientals.   They’re inscrutable, cos they didn’t have copies of “Best Bets” and “Winning Post” on the counter, and they’d smile blandly when I ordered chicken salt on my Wing Dings. 

Worse than they they’d taken down the Herald Sun Lift-out of Dustin Martin winning the Grand Final for Richmond with a scene depicting boats on the Yangtze River. 

And in Melbourne, they’re all over the place, and I reckon they’re trying to get gold out of us, by getting us hooked onto Real Estate, and speculative property deals. No clean living Aussie would ever do that, (sell his country short for a few bucks)  so it must be what they put into the Chicken salt.  I’m gonna tell my member of Parliament, but aparrently he’s on a junket, with his whole family to Macao and Honkers. Paid for by the Chinese Government. Must’ve had a predeliction for Wing Dings, and the Chicken salt got him. Cos Pollies in this country are above corruption and feathering their own nests. 

Andrew Robb, demonstrates his level of integrity

These Chinese are corrupting our values!!

Next they’ll be making us sell the whole fucken lot, whilst getting us hooked on Opium!!


That is such a low act, good thing we’re well governed and our Head of State is not some Communist party flunky, but Her Majesty the Queen, who understands cricket and the principles of FAIR PLAY!!. Still…..a One party State with one leader for LIFE is not such a good thing…Look at Rome after the republic, didn’t do em any good, and the poms up until Charles 1 got his block knocked off!

I askyou?

And this from our scribe of the near north, Ira Maine

Well, at least the first Monarch of the Poms, Charles, a misogynistic,
religion-obsessesed, thick as bottled shit Kingo, believer in the idea
that the lower orders were exactly that, at least left this life
whilst getting a head job, which is precisely how most of us would
like to depart  if the truth were known, god save us all.

And, I feel, perhaps opium, as you suggest, might not be such a bad
idea. If, after all, it did the Chinamen no harm, what the hell harm
can it do to us?

Sam’s Way A Great Leap Forward. (and backwards again)

Yours in Christ,


Hmmm, you be the judge, there’s surely more to follow, as irrefutibale facts keep pouring in from across the country. Proving beyond all reasonable doubt that Australia stands defenceless against the tide.