Bastardry Royal Commission. Introducing our Poet Laureate, Rigid Coupling.

whitey 1Dear reader, with the impending Royal Commission into a ‘minor act of institutional bastardry in the greater scheme of things’, we have asked our very own poet laureate to register the deep concern held by the Turnbull Government to set things right. Indeed in the words of the Prime Minister, to; ‘initiate a thorough investigation” and bring those who are responsible to account. Indeed this piece, ‘fresh’ as it was written in great haste this evening by none other than Rigid Coupling suggests that reform is but a tissue, whilst we still ‘shoulders to the wheel’, carry on the great work of ‘Civilising”.whitey 2

Australia’s greatness is it’s humility and deep progressive understanding of what the first Australian’s must feel when they thank us for all the good we’ve done them. The work, sadly, is ongoing. Such is the white man’s burden. To paraphrase the worthy sentiment of the Chief Minister, (‘Big Chiefy to his mates), ‘there aint a hole big enough to put all the crims’. And we know that 90% of the N.T crims are first Australians. Our very own, “new- caught sullen peoples, Half devil and half child”. And we credit Rigid with the pun, ‘new -caught’, cos as we all know Court is just a formality, throw away the key, cos there aint no hole big enough. Enjoy!whitey 3

‘The White man’s Burden’ (by Rigid Coupling)

Take up the White Man’s burden, Send forth the best ye breed                                          Go bind your sons to exile, to serve your captives’ need;                                                    To wait in heavy harness, On fluttered folk and wild—                                                     Your new-caught, sullen peoples, Half-devil and half-child.

Take up the White Man’s burden, In patience to abide,                                                       To veil the threat of terror And check the show of pride;                                                       By open speech and simple, An hundred times made plain                                                To seek another’s profit, And work another’s gain.

Take up the White Man’s burden, The savage wars of peace—                                          Fill full the mouth of Famine And bid the sickness cease;                                                   And when your goal is nearest The end for others sought,                                             Watch sloth and heathen Folly Bring all your hopes to nought.

Take up the White Man’s burden, No tawdry rule of kings,                                                But toil of serf and sweeper, The tale of common things.                                                    The ports ye shall not enter, The roads ye shall not tread,                                                   Go make them with your living, And mark them with your dead.

Take up the White Man’s burden And reap his old reward:                                               The blame of those ye better, The hate of those ye guard—                                                 The cry of hosts ye humour (Ah, slowly!) toward the light:—                                             “Why brought he us from bondage, Our loved Egyptian night?”

Take up the White Man’s burden, Ye dare not stoop to less—                                             Nor call too loud on Freedom To cloak your weariness;                                                      By all ye cry or whisper, By all ye leave or do,                                                                    The silent, sullen peoples Shall weigh your gods and you.

Take up the White Man’s burden, Have done with childish days                                       The lightly proferred laurel, The easy, ungrudged praise.                                                Comes now, to search your manhood, through all the thankless years                             Cold, edged with dear-bought wisdom, The judgment of your peers!whitey 5

whitey 4

And when you’ve finished the Royal Commission. Our advice is; ‘Travel First Class and wash your hands of it’!

(Editors note). Beautiful line that; ‘The judgement of your peers” because a few of my legal mates are having trouble with the school fees, and the upkeep of the yacht, the art portfolio and the fourth investment property. What they sorely need is another Royal Commission to really sort, (with egregiously restricted terms of reference) things out. And they’re still a bit sore about these super reforms that are on the table also. Though I suppose that isn’t quite so important as civilising and bringing the natives to brook with the rule of law.