Australian Football May 26 2015

Cecil Poole in personal and private correspondence with Quentin Cockburn finished with this:  “we head to NYC in 48 hours, by which time Mick Malthouse should no longer be the headline.”  

Quentin responded with this scoop:

Effin effin hell,,, I can’t wait … Got the board meeting tonight…. My mate Scott is hyper spastic with feelings of revulsion, sickness, emotional trauma, and dissipated energy in relation to the matter. I took him to the G.P, and do you know what he said, ” Tsk, Tsk, perhaps the worst case I have yet encountered…”.. he then put down his stethescope and murmured something unintelligible…

I asked him, “Tell us straight Doc, what’s the prognosis’?

He paused, took off his glasses, and said matter of factly,

“I’ll give it to you straight”!

‘Tell us Doc’?

“You see” Doc said, ” it’s the worst case of “Essendonititis’ I’ve seen in my professional experience, sadly, though it has spread, he has all the same symptoms, yet has not been in any contact with an Essendon supporter”!!

“What does that mean Doc”?

He replied, “Essedonitiitis is like Ebola, they come from the same source, infected blood samples and an associated loss of faith in the board’.

‘Oh’ I said flummoxed.

‘There are two stages, (Doc Continued), the first stage is virulent and catchy, it is called ‘Esada’, the second stage is terminal , it is called ‘Awada”.

‘Is there anything we can do to save him’? I implored.

“Nothing’! said the doctor

Doc continued, “He has to have faith in the board in order to fight the infection”

‘But that’s impossible Doc’

Doc demurred;    ‘Or the coach has to go’!

‘We can do that Doc, Is that what they did at Essendon’?

‘No’, said doc,

‘But how did they cure the outbreak of Essedonitis at Essendon’?.

‘They didn’t, they can’t and they won’t, because…. (his voice trailed)

‘Why not’? I implored Doc

‘Because they are deaf to entreaties and reason’!

‘Why is that Doc’?

‘Because Essedonititis  effects the comprehension of simple external messages’.

‘External messages?’ I implored?

‘Yes’ said Doc,

He tapped the desk with the bowl of his pipe, ‘What ever is said, is not registered’.

‘Registered Doc’?

‘Yes, my son’!, (he’d gone paternalistic)

He continued tiredly; ‘They’re blind, dumb and the rest is best left’…….,

‘What Doc’?

‘Un-Heard’!!!