By Quentin Cockburn
Dear readers, it is an honour to be asked to give you an insight into the enormous impact I have had in Australian public life. Assuming you haven’t read my war memoirs, Two Steps Forward, (Faber and Faber 1954), I could talk to you about some of the more interesting things I did during those years of turmoil. I could offer an anecdote or two about my time behind enemy lines in May 1940, my work in the cipher department at Bletchley Park, and my role in unlocking the Enigma Code. Though each supremely noteworthy I think it is now time for me to divulge some hitherto unrecorded episodes.
Perhaps I should describe my unpublished analysis of magnetic mines, acoustic torpedoes and de gaussing? Though I’m inclined to give a little recitation related to my practical research and development of the ‘Pinkelwasser bomb sight‘ for height challenged midget submarine operators, or a practical demonstration of Ju jitsu in defence of the Johore causeway. I have already mentioned this debacle in my memoir, ‘Dire Straits’. (Cheshire 1961). I could recall the time I was aide de camp to Sir Basil Embury, ‘Witless Victory‘ (Readers Club. 1953) in drawing up an escape plan whilst I was billeted at Buckingham Palace to protect the Windsors ‘Operation Sovereign Borders‘ (Dent. 1957), or the time I thwarted the marine invasion of Crete in 1941, ‘Send the Boats Back’. (Collins 1956), or the time I played medium pace left arm orthodox and secured the Schneider trophy against the Cameroons in the Stalag luft XV111 test series, ‘Bowled Team Australia’.
But perhaps I should leave the best till last in my description of the negotiations and deception I employed to hoodwink the Russians, just as the evil iron curtain descended upon Europe to establish a new front and thus herald the onset of the Cold War. It was my role during ‘Operation Paperclip’ and my dalliance with the evil mastermind, Vladimir Shird and his henchman Ras-putin Willankoff ‘Shird-front Putin’ (Harper 1982.) that doesn’t get the full recognition I’m sure it deserves.
I think, (quite rightfully) any of these will make excellent material for a short talk, and I am loathe to mention the decorations bestowed upon me for being a leader, soldier, spy, inspiration to countless generations of Australians, but suffice to say in my modesty I had recently bestowed upon me the Croix de Guerre and the ‘Knight Chevalier of the Order of France, (2nd class). Though it is timely for the French to recognise my contribution, I have it mounted at the very bottom drawer of my collection of honours as being French one is never quite sure. I’ll recite them briefly… M.C and Bar, DSO. DFC, M.M, M.B.E. Pour le Merite, Iron Cross, ( 2nd class), Order of the Chrysanthenum, Star of Turkey, Knights Cross with Diamonds, Oak Leaves and Swords, Order of Lenin, and hero of the Soviet Union, and others too numerous to mention…Tidy Towns, Tarax Show merit certificate, Herald Swim certificate, order of the Leaping Wolf, The Happy Club, and Joffa Boy and Uncle Norman signed Carlton Football jumper.
Perhaps upon reflection I may just give a brief recitation about recruitment requirements for operators of midget Submarines… this was quite challenging, and I may provide some fascinating documents to illustrate the challenges we faced and how my work in Midget submarines led to my stewardship of the post war motor industry in both this country and abroad.
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